BIG vent over hospital and policies

[Frankie]

My daughter met with several teams at Columbia today concerning her stay when the twins are born. She was told NO ONE but the two parents will be allowed to visit the twins in the NIC Unit, no one!! She asked for clarification as she knew I was going to be there when they are born, no, no one. There is not even a window I will be allowed to look through to see them. I will not be allowed to see them until they are moved to the Progress Nursery. Because of their heart surgeries that could be up to 2 weeks or longer. I can't see my new Grandbabies for 2 weeks!! God forbid if something were to happen, then,,,,I guess I can't go there.

I promise I am trying so hard to understand policies, they are going through enough without dealing with a not so happy Grandmother right now, but just in case I want to see them, and I can't.

My daughter too is upset, I told her it was ok, it was best for the babies. I don't know if it helped her, but I told her any way so she isn't concerned with me.

But I'm flaming mad, hurt, anxious, more nervous.

I can scrub and put on a ton of clothes too darn it!!

I understand not wanting a ton of visitors in there, but no Grandparents??

When my son was in ICU as a baby, he was allowed 2 visitors every 2 hours. We did it with one parent and one Grandparent each visit.

I am just venting, I know I can't change this policy. I want to be there when they are born for my daughter, can't see them,,,I will pace a hole in the floor,,,so a second trip to NY in 2 weeks?? That becomes difficult in many ways. Now I don't know what to do.

Seeing them kind of makes it ok, you know??

Sorry, soooooo frustrated, I just want to see my Grandchildren. I can't believe this, just not fair.

Sorry

 

[Bess Kelly]

I'm sorry for you and the entire situation. Consider a call to admin services, patient services, the hospital clergy, etc., at the hospital and ask, since you are coming from far away, if this can be reconsidered....even just one time. You never know, it may help. Seems very severe a restraint, IMO....I can see adult, immediate fam only but, "no one" seems brutal. I wish you a pleasant outcome.

 

[Katiean]

When my nephew was born he went home as normal babies do but quickly had "failure to thrive" . Thankfully we were allowed in his room where he was by himself. They had him under lights and tubes coming out of every spot they could think of. He was also tube fed. Because we were worried he would not make it I took a camera and took pictures. I had asked my brother if I could and he said no. But my sis-in-law was there at the hospital and I asked her and she said yes. He is now 9 and wanted to see the pictures of when he was born. I don't think he was old enough at that point because he was very upset with what he saw. My point is maybe someone can take a camera in and take some pictures and maybe even a couple of minutes of video (the cameras are not much bigger than a still camera). That way if God forbid something were to happen to one or both of the twins you would still have pictures.

The reason my brother didn't want any pictures of this son was he was married to a different lady and she had his first son Early and he was septic. He was so tiny. With the infection there was no saving him. The nurse wrapped him in a blanket and gave him to his parents and grandma. They took some pictures if him. Thats all we have of Timmy.

IMHO if there is any risk pictures should be taken. I too would be MAD AS heck if they wouldn't let me in to see the twins if I were you. There has to be some Hospital big wig that will give permission to see them. If not, maybe pictures will help.

 

[wcr]

I know it is upsetting to you but I work in a hospital and can understand their reasoning. We have become pretty hard-nosed about our visiting policies recently with the H1N1 virus going around to protect our patients. Your babies are going to be very compromised as far as immunity, as well as other babies in the NICU, and it is to protect them more than just to be mean to you. As bad as it is not to see them, as hospital personnel we have a duty to protect our patients.

 

[txminipinto]

I have to agree with Kathi. The twins will already be highly at risk for infection and illness. With exposure to hospital staff and their parents, that's already too much exposure for their critical condition. While I understand your disappointment, it's the hospital's responsibility to protect their patients even if it means protecting them from loving family members. I also want to point out that grandparents have NO LEGAL claim to grandchildren unless they are their legal guardians. You have no LEGAL right to see these children under the law. The parents are the only ones who have legal rights. But parents have no legal rights to over ride hospital policy.

I understand its upsetting not to be allowed to see your grandchildren. But at this time, it's for their health. Your most important job right now is to be there for their parents and support them through this scarey time. Sending prayers for the twins.

 

[Reble]

So sorry to hear this, video and lots and lots of pictures.

and most of all lots of

things might just change.

 

[FoRebel]

I'm sorry that this is upsetting you. BUT as a mom of a preemie who was in the NICU for 109 days because he came early and had health problems, I will tell you that the only reason that they are preventing anyone from seeing the babies other than the parents is to expose them to less germs. Preemies or babies that are born sick are VERY susceptible to sickness and germs. The hospital is just trying to protect the babies as much as they can.

It's not just the hospital where your daughter will be delivering... It's a lot of hospitals in the country that are adopting this policy. I'm due in 3 weeks and doing a home birth, but the hospital that we'd transfer to if needed has a policy that Mom, Dad and 1 other support person can be in the delivery room and only 1 visitor can visit at a time while mom is in the hospital, no children under 5 are allowed either. This whole H1N1 thing is playing a toll on hospital policies about visitors too...

Please try to be understanding and try not to stress or be angry over something that isn't in your control or even in your daughter's. They are going to need as much support over the coming months as they can get. Have your daughter and her husband take pictures and even video of the kids for you and let them share that with you. Most of all, try not to dump your frustration about visiting on your daughter... It will stress her out more and won't be good for any of you.

 

[Ellen]

I am so sorry. But i too had a very preemie son, who did get pneumonia. Although it was hard on the everyone. It truely was best for him. Thank God I have him.

At the time I wanted my Mom and Dad there with us but....They only alowed Russ and I in. Once he got better. Well enought to be seen through an isolate, immediate family members were able to see him. Even my oldest boys.

But feeding time was stricly for Russ and I, once he was able to bottle feed.

It was a long road to hoe, but he is worth it.

I know how bad you hurt and I am sending hugs your way. You and your family are in my prayers. God Bless.

 

[muffntuf]

Hospitals have changed their policies due the new threats of H1N1 flu. Its not just your daughter's babies, depending on how the NICU is built, you could be spreading germs to other NICU babies. It's always been tough in the NICU's, but I think it is more so now.

I didn't think I was going to be able to see my niece because she was in NICU, but she got moved to her own private NICU room, which was off the NICU wing, she no longer had to be on a direct vent, but aired oxygen, so we had to scrub and wear the little yellow gowns and feet thingees, but we did get to see her.

It's hard - hang in there!

 

[minih]

Understanding the "why" does not make it any easier, does it? <<hugs>> Sending lots of good thoughts and prayers your way when they make there way here for a speedy recovery so Grandma can give them lots of love too.

 

[CharlesFamily]

Carolyn,

Sending you big ((hugs)) as I know this is one more stressful thing in a very stressful time.

I understand the hospital's policy. But, at the same time, I don't know what I would have done if my parents were not allowed in to see Madalyn when she was hospitalized for her heart surgeries. We kept 24 hour watch over her - and as you are not allowed to sleep in the ICU rooms, my husband and I could not be there at all times. So, my Dad would come and do the 10 p.m. to 2 a.m. shift while my husband and I went to the Ronald McDonald House to sleep. Then I would go over from 2 a.m. until just after morning rounds so I could speak with the doctors. After that, my husband would take over, and I would go back to the RMH to shower and nap, and be back to the hospital by lunch. Then it would all start over. My mom would come and do some relief during the day so that we could spend some time outside of the hospital with our older daughter.

Honestly, I don't know how we would have made it. I know NICU also has some different rules than PICU or CICU. Maddy was in PICU as a baby, because she had been home for 9 days before going into distress and being diagnosed. She couldn't go to NICU since she did not come straight from her birth hospital. Things had changed some and by the time she had her third open heart surgery when she was 3, I never left her bedside as she didn't want me to go.

And I know this is not a comforting thought, but if things are not "looking good" they will make arrangements for you to see the babies. But your daughter is in absolutely one of the best hospitals she and the babies could be at. I will be praying for her and the babies!

Barbara