Debate with husband

[wade3504]

I haven't posted in some time but read all the time. My husband and I have a debate going on. He thinks that our 10 year old and our 8 year old can stay home alone for about 2 hours after school and I don't feel comfortable with that. They are good kids but we live in an apartment complex in the Palm Beach area of Florida. We don't really kknow anyone around here yet and we do know that there are groups of kids who hang out in the complex smoking pot and who knows what else. He said they would stay inside and keep the door locked but I don't feel they are old enough for the responsibility. What do you think? I want a babysitter.

Amanda

 

[barnbum]

Wait--you have kids???

A lot depends on the child--if he/she is ready. Responsible? Comfortable staying alone? I'd not want a 10 year old in charge of an 8 year old--seems like a big responsibility. Two hours is a long time. I teach 10 year olds--and it's a rare one who would want to be alone for that long. Follow your gut--get a sitter and you'll sleep better.

 

[Miniv]

Wade, If your husband thinks saving two hours a day of a babysitter's pay isn't worth your children's safety........both my husband and I say -- it's a GAMBLE. Is he willing to take that gamble?

Now, if you folks are in desperate financial straights right now, I'd wince and tell you to have the kids lock the doors and call one of you every half hour or something......make sure they have a neighbor they can contact.......and NO LEAVING THE APARTMENT -- unless it's on fire.

Also, be sure to check your state's child endangerment laws. Our state (I think?) allows kids 12 years and older to be by themselves, and to watch other kids........ We have a 13 yr old and are just now allowing her to be by herself when I go shopping for a couple hours during the day. At night? NO WAY.

 

[laughingllama75]

Well, a long time ago when I was 7 (30 years to be exact!) my Mom and step dad split. Well, us kids went with Mom....who had a night job. I got to babysit my sisters then 4 and 1. yes, 4 and 1. I don't know what possesed her to leave us kids alone..but I did it. I was scared..of noises, of the unknown and of being robbed. We lived in the country, but still there were unknown threats to a kid of that age. I made it....and so did my sisters. That said, if you have the chance, PLEASE do not do it to your kids. There are SO MANY things that could happen. Fire, robbery, someone could know that they were alone and bad things could happen. Tell Hubby it is JUST NOT WORTH IT.

as an FYI-I had the babysitting job until I was 17 and moved out. we never got robbed or stolen, but we did spend a night in a closet because a man was outside that we didnt know and we didnt know what else to do. (course, come to find out he was the Landlord and he was snooping but we didnt know at the time). I am not telling you this for pity or whatever, just to plead your kids case and say they are too young.

 

[Mona]

There may be laws in your state that require the children to be a certain age before they can be left at home unattended. I would check into this as it may be all that is needed for you to "win your debate". I believe here in Ontario, they must be 12 years of age. At least that is what it used to be...not sure what it is nowadays.

 

[~Lisa~]

It depends so much on the kids. I watched my brother for a few hours after school starting at around 9 when I was a kid. I think alot of us were latchkey kids

I think if you have a neighbor they can call- they understand to come straight home lock the door and call you when they get home and they are not really active running around kind of kids it could be ok but again depends on the personality of the kids as much as the age. Some might be ready at 10 or 12 others not until 15

 

[Bess Kelly]

At that age they have the tendancy to allow friends to vist, soon you have several there. It isn't a good idea, especially given the rest of the situation you described about the area.

 

[uwharrie]

I think it depends on the kid. If you have to leave them home alone what about investing in a low cost survelance camera and having it stream online ( Marestare) that way you can keep an eye on them.

I know home security companies now offer the same service but I bet they charge a lot more than $24 a month

 

[LittleRibbie]

Is your apartment complex a "gaited cummunity"

Does smeone have to show an identification card before entering the property?

How well do you know your neighbors?

That may help w/your worries but unfortunatly...this day and age...I would have to say "get sitter"

 

[LAminiatures]

Mothers knows best.

 

[FoRebel]

Check the state's laws about leaving kids alone. Around here I think it's 12 before they can be left home alone. If you HAVE to leave them home alone due to finances then see if a neighbor person would be willing to keep an ear out for them or even check on them once in a while during those 2 hrs.

Maybe there's a grandma type or elderly lady that would be willing to keep an eye on them for little to nothing or for them doing things for her.

 

[Gini]

Amanda

I wouldn't leave the kids alone at that age even for an hour. Too many things could happen and children at that age are to vulnerable. I just wouldn't chance it..

Good to see you on here again.

Gini

 

[wade3504]

The ten year old has not been listening well lately and proved it again tonight at dinner. I proceeded to tell my husband that her not listening was only one of the reasons why I didn't want them staying home alone. We know the neighbors across the parking lot from us and that is it. We know them because our ten year old considers their son who is the same age as her her boyfriend and he thinks her his girlfriend. Yet another reason to not leave them home alone. The neighbors to the right of us and above us don't speak english so there is no communicating with them. We do live in a gated community but people still manage to get in and anybody can walk in/ride a bike. I got lucky though, I won as our 10 year old told her grandmother that her father might be letting them do this and she let him have it this evening when he picked them up from her house. They usually stay with her after school but this Thursday she is having a stent put in her heart or around it-not sure so she's not going to be up to babysitting for some time. Anyway, one of my husband's old neighbors is watching them on Thursday and Friday and then we go from there. If it becomes long term I will cut my hours at work as I only make 11 an hour so I'd basically be working just for childcare for some of those hours if I continued to work all day.

Thanks everyone for your advice. I am glad that the ten year old said something to my mother in law today. That just sealed the deal for a babysitter.

Karla (barnbum) I am happy to say that I do have children now. I got divorced from my first husband and got remarried. I now have a great family that I couldn't be happier with. Their mother is not in this picture as she passed away 3 years ago.

 

[Miniv]

Glad to hear your 10 year old "blabbed".

Is there a teenager in the general neighborhood that would be willing to spend those 2 hours at your place? I don't know what babysitters are paid anymore.......$5 an hour???

 

[wade3504]

Babysitters around here work closer to between 8 and 10 an hour. I considered a teenager but the teens get our an hour later than our kids do. We'll see what happens. We have a sitter for Thurs and Friday and then if my job continues to be as bad as it is I won't mind getting fewer hours.

 

[Robin1]

Yes, it depends on the kids.

However, it also depends on the law. Here in AZ it is illegal to leave children alone unless one of them is older than 12 yrs.

Robin