diagnosed, deppression

[irishmini]

why does life feel so hard?

lets face t... we have it all!!.., well. i do... nice family, fairly descent husband......

all the things i need... but i still find it hard to face the day!!!!... its sickening!!... thats all i can say>

i read the posts from the likes of marty......... my god! whats she going through!, and i feel i have no right to be sad!!!!... but i do feel sad....and fed up.....and worse

anyone else feel so bad..?..or am i just being selfish?

i am now on 20mg a day of lexapro........its helping .. i think, but i feel so flipping selfish and stupid!!!!!!!!

so sorry, but it feels good to get it off my chest...............

steph....

 

[yankee_minis]

Depression is tricky... it is like wearing a pair of glasses that shows you a world that is different than reality. And you don't realize it because that's all you can see. Everything that happens is seen differently by you. Others see your "perfect" life and somedays you can barely lift your head to smile. (That's where the "shoulds" come into your head-- you feel you *should* be happy! Realize that "should statements" are usually coming from someone else and are often accompanied with guilt or shame.)

Depression has a physical cause-- it's not "just in your head" as they say. Medications help with depression by making your brain do what it is supposed to do, but can't. (How do you like that technical explanation? lol)

You can't enjoy your life until the meds make you see that you're wearing the wrong glasses-- the depression ones. Once you realize that you can begin to see the world as a much better place. And your quality of life will greatly improve!

So continue with the meds and hopefully they work. Talk with your doctor about how you're feeling and understand that sometimes it takes time and that some meds work better than others for different people.

Good luck!

 

[nootka]

I think the feelings you have are somewhat normal for what you are going through.

Depression is/can be a chemical thing and it's nothing to be ashamed/embarassed about. I don't know that science can understand entirely what it is that causes it, and I do hope your medication helps.

I know that I recognize times when I have it, and I have a very "fortunate" life as well. I tend to think that some past trauma is the root of it, but again, I get through mine fairly simply and with the dedicated help and love of good, close friends with strong shoulders and good ears/availability and understanding. I hope I won't need medication, but if I do, I will try it.

Life is too short to live feeling like you can't face the day as you and others have put it. There is no rhyme or reason to it. There is so much that is NOT understood about the human brain. My brother is bipolar to the extremes and it's torturous to witness his mood swings and life changes it brings about. The doctors and meds can't quite get things to where he can live a normal life.

Something as elusive as depression has to be difficult, because how does one know whether it's a fleeting sadness that settles in for a day or so, or something that will not go away for months, even years (have heard of/known some that stay this way for literally years).

My best wishes!

I don't envy you one bit, but am glad you're working on feeling better.

Liz M.

 

[runamuk]

why does life feel so hard?

lets face t... we have it all!!.., well. i do... nice family, fairly descent husband......

all the things i need... but i still find it hard to face the day!!!!... its sickening!!... thats all i can say>

i read the posts from the likes of marty......... my god! whats she going through!, and i feel i have no right to be sad!!!!... but i do feel sad....and fed up.....and worse

anyone else feel so bad..?..or am i just being selfish?

i am now on 20mg a day of lexapro........its helping .. i think, but i feel so flipping selfish and stupid!!!!!!!!

so sorry, but it feels good to get it off my chest...............

steph....

Not to knock the meds they can help....however , I am a firm believer in therapy and human support to work through these things............the medication can reduce the immediate feelings but what then? How does one learn to deal with it if no one teaches them? We need to interact and be a ble to express our feelings and thoughts in a healthy manner where we are not judged.........this is all just my belief of course and last time I discussed this on a thread and came back it was gone(the entire thread) so if you want more info about ME ( I am an unmedicated fully functional manic depressive) and what I have learned PM me

:

 

[Marty]

I've never suffered from depression before but I have friends that do and also a close friend who is bi-polar. It doesn't make them selfish or unworthy of happiness. Just because you have not suffered a personal tragedy such as mine, does not mean that your depression is any less serious than mine.

I am sorry that I brought you down and yes I am also medicated now. I don't like it but it is the only way for now that I can get through a day without multiple "episodes". Most of my life was all about being goofy and having fun with the silly frustrations with being a mom with teenager induced grey hairs one minute and then it turned into a dark hole. I was supposed to protect my baby and I didn't. I guess you might say I snapped trying to be with Michael so the meds have become a part of my daily routine. Heck I can't leave Dan without a mom and Jerry would put the reds in with the white load so I have to hang around. Someday I hope to be without it but for now, the medication helps me resemble a human again.

Please know that everyone deserves to be happy and so do you. If you need the help of medicines to acheive your happiness in life than please take it because life is way too short not to make the most of it. Promise that you will stay in close communication with your doctor about it and don't feel ashamed about a thing.

Much Love

Marty

 

[KarenM]

:saludando: Hi Steph

I know what it is like big time... i have had Post Natal Depression for 7 years !!!!!! Yes i still have it .. No i have not been in hospital and No i am not on my " happy pills " at the moment.

Tori is 7 i have had it since her birth... People asked

" Why do you have it when Tori sleeps 8 hours a night then 4 hours durning the day ?

" Why do you have it your Mum is so helpful ? "

" Why Why "

Steph never think you are being selfish at all. Never let any one say " Get over it " i hate that so much !!!

remember to rant rave do what you need to do remember you are a loving mother & wife dont let anyone tell you otherwise.

: Karen

The best ever theropy listeners are the ones who cant talk back heehee .. oh they are good at holding in secrets also heehee.. just ask my ponies they will tell you heehee

 

[RainSong]

I suffered undiagnosed depression for over a decade- and then I had my son, and I finally got slapped with the PPD so badly I HAD to go to a doctor about it.

I was stuck on meds for six months, and then when we moved back, I started going to counseling. No meds till just recently (as in, today)- and the meds are partly trying to fix this constant pain I've had for something like two weeks now. I've also been given a muscle relaxant, and had my first mostly good day in quite awhile... but then, I haven't done everything yet (and I hurt... -.-)

I often felt I shouldn't feel how I do/did, and felt guilt over it all. Heck, after Marty lost Michael, despite laying in the same room as my then almost year old son, I started thinking how I wished fate had taken me when I was eighteen, instead of someone like Michael. Afterall, what good was I doing, compared to all the good Michael had done and been doing?!

Sadly, alot of people cannot tell the Manics from the Depressives from the Normals- moods, that is, not people. I've gotten to a point where I often can tell I'm going into one mood or another, or hit one. That's not to say I can always help it- sometimes it's an uphill battle I rapidly loose, and other times I manage to self-talk my way out of it.

Trust me, sometimes the medications are needed. I'd be long gone if not for the meds after I had Nathan, simply because I could barely eat (I was never suicidal, thank heavens). But you need more then Meds if you can get it, and IF it works. Sometimes meds are all that will work- depends on the person.

But never feel like you're a bad person for feeling how you do, no matter what. It's hard, I know... and I often break down because I feel so much guilt over being so out of wack for "stupid stuff". Thank all that's good, my husband's been there the whole time, and understands- and does what he can.

That's one other thing. You need support. People who will help, even if they don't understand... and you need people who DO understand. Feel free to e-mail or message me any time you want... I still slide down that slope with alarming frequency.

And I have got to go... the pain is creeping back. :no:

 

[KanoasDestiny]

I'm just throwing this out there and I'm sure that this is not the case, but from personal experience and from talking to literally hundreds of women who have also suffered from it, birth control can make one go through depression. If you or anyone one else on this forum, are taking any method of artificial hormones and suffering from depression, please do research and find out if it could possibly be related. My gynocologist, along with lots of others out there, say that it can't be related, but alot of the manufacturers themselves put the warnings on their products.

 

[runamuk]

I'm just throwing this out there and I'm sure that this is not the case, but from personal experience and from talking to literally hundreds of women who have also suffered from it, birth control can make one go through depression. If you or anyone one else on this forum, are taking any method of artificial hormones and suffering from depression, please do research and find out if it could possibly be related. My gynocologist, along with lots of others out there, say that it can't be related, but alot of the manufacturers themselves put the warnings on their products.

This is a fabulous point..............I am eternally hormonally challenged

:

: and I can say that my manic depressive cycles have ALL been precipitated by hormone changes or artificial hormone use........the longer I live with this the more I learn.........I honestly had no idea that my concieving (by accident) 2 sons 5 years apart is actually a medical miracle according to my doc's......I should be one of those people who doesn't concieve I am that messed up. I am very anti drug's/medication partly for this reason.......but this is my personal choice and made with much input from doc's and shrinks.........

I agree that you are perfectly normal and that you should never ever blame yourself for your feelings.............our emotions are what they are and they do not require any validation. You have recognized where you are right now and all you can do is move on from there............and it is all about baby steps........each day is a new day and all we can do is try again for a better tomorrow........it can and will get better but don't ever beat yourself up if today wasn't a good day

:

 

[irishmini]

your all wonderful......!!!!

i will check the contraception thing........

i think my depression is chemical up to a point because the meds work a bit,.....but i also have some circunstances that are not happy, and i am working to change these!!!!!i too feel weak for taking my happy pills...but am learning to live with it...for now!!!!i am also going to go and see somebody...a therapist, to talk through a few things..........

my horses make me smile everyday though... its amaizing, they really are like my little saviours!!!

:

thankyou so much for sharing personal feelings with me....and i shall be p.m..ing you!!!!!in time

steph

 

[shane]

hi steph, ive been suffering from depression for the past 12 years,i actually was really bad to the point were i cannot for the life of me remember 6months of my life,i had to be nursed by my husband after i lost my son.........to then go on and loose my daughter was just to much, i still dont rememeber how i survived, i never took happy pills i was too afraid id become dependent,but i did take sleeping tablets i was on 20mg of temazapam twice a day ,i sort of thought i could sleep my life away,i cold turkeyd myself off them and it took 3 longgg months of the shakes, i thank god that i didnt take the happy pills as i know i may have done somthing that i would have regretted,not that im saying they dont work, my sister is bipolar and she has to take them or else her seratonin levels fly all over the place. i must say that having my beautiful daughter saved my life or i wouldnt be here, ....this is the first year of my life that im finally seeing some light, due to my husband and daughter,my horses and i love life but i stilll have my "bad days" as i can not forget, when i have a bad day i could jump in front of a train ,but whenit passes im glad i didnt

stay strong steph life is for living

: , if you ever need to talk just pm me or someone from here that will listen

 

[Pepipony]

I have an illness that quite often causes depression just from its invasion of the brain, plus the stress and depression from dealing with it. I am lucky in that this hasnt happened to me ( knock wood not yet at least!), but have seen it in many friends. All too often Drs jump to the symptom , arthritis, depression etc, and dont look for the cause. This can put people on meds for extended periods of time instead of treating the root cause. I am SO not saying there isnt depression, just saying that there are many causes, bacterial, viral, chemical, environmental etc, and we have to look at what may be the cause.

I feel so bad for those that deal with it, like someone mentioned earlier, its like a pair of glasses, you dont realize what is what untill those glasses come off. I wish everyone dealing with this the best of luck and hope you find the right path for your treatment.

 

[sharon]

I too suffer from depression. I was diagnosed probably 15 years ago and have been on various meds since then. The depression got much worse after being diagnosed with fibromyalgia. Yes, it really sucks. I too have the feelings like there are others who are so much worse off, but it doesn't seem to ever matter. I still have the blues. It's a tough mountain to climb and conquer. I was nearly at the top about 5 years ago, then WHAM!! Got hit hard with the fibro and I'm back to struggling at the bottom of the mountain. I don't know if I will ever make it back to the top.

 

[Sunny]

I totally agree with what the others have said about depression. I'll just add that it might help to talk with your doctor and let him/her know how you're feeling. It does take some time for these meds to take effect, but after three weeks, I think (JMO) you should be feeling different by now. Not every type of medicine is good for every person, and often the levels need to be adjusted. Good luck and don't give up.

 

[RainSong]

Most of the meds say 4-6weeks for full effect. The one I was just put on said 4 weeks, and the Effexor I was on with my PPD was the same. I've noticed nothing with the new pills (generic form of Prozac), but the Effexor was an immediate THAT DAY difference- probably partly due to hormones, and the fact I never got much food into myself at that point. Couldn't eat because of the depression! Scares the holy living dayligths outta me to think of it.

It's true, what was said about many causes... I know some of what contributes to mine (Familiy history of depression/bi-polar, abuse, etc), but most of the time now... there's not an obvious trigger for the depressive or manic episodes. The Anxiety is a different matter.

Also, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) is being found in alot more people then simply those who've been in the military or in abusive situations. Again, Anxiety and depression often go hand in hand, and sadly PTSD and Anxiety/Depressions also go hand in hand with substance abuse- self-medicating.

Can't tell I had couseling, can you? LOL Apparently, I'm one of few PTSD-potential sufferers (We never figured if I had it or not, but I fit the profile) who hasn't fallen into substance abuse. The numbers are just frightening!

It is a day at a time. Sometimes it's an hour at a time, for me... and if you watch, I pop up here now and again with a bad post when I get pretty down... and everyone here is just wonderful about trying to help!

 

[MiniNovice]

For anyone fighting depression there is a great website called the Mood Gym (moodgym.anu.edu.au). It is a cognitive behavior therapy program. Research showed that it was AS efffective in the case of clients that used only the website as those who went to see a live therapist. It helps you reset your pattern of thinking. I laughed when a doctor first suggested it for my son (age 15 at the time) but I found him actually working through the program! I got on and started working it and was amazed at the insight I have learned in how we set ourselves up sometimes to feel bad. That doesn't mean stop meds if prescribed or ignore doctors. Its just one more tool to help out! Hope you give it a look at!

 

[Ojai Minis]

This topic is so near to my heart. Though I didn't start out depressed, I have depression due to anxiety and the meds I have been put on. I started out with anxiety 24/7 almost 2 years ago due to a hormonal imbalance. (I really think PPD is this also and if hormones are given instead of AD's, I think women would be so much happier). After trying all the AD's for anxiety (duh!!!!) I ended up on just xanex. On the AD's I wanted to kill myself. And I tried several of them. While on the xanex, I just got sicker and sicker. I have since found out that I have been in withdrawels pretty much since I started as xanex is a short acting benzo and my body used it up in like 2 hours. I was a mess. I have since switched to Valium and am doing a VERYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY SLOWWWWWWWWWWWw weaning process. This should be done with the AD's also. I know this is such a sticky topic as there is the school that thinks depression and anxiety is a chemical imbalance. There is no way to test for that. What the drugs do is mask the problem and take away the meds and usually the problem is still there. I have had to learn coping skills during this process. I still have the hormonal imbalance which I am also working on. Counseling has helped a lot in my way of thinking. CBT is great!!! I am now a prisoner of this drug and unless I come off slowly, I will go into major withdrawels that could last a long time. I encourage anyone thinking of using these psych drugs to really do some reading up on them. It's a travesty that this is what the drs. think we need to get on with life. Again, I know in the short term they can be life savers but dealing with the real issues is so much better. Once on, lots of poeple have a heck of a time coming off or can't. If anyone wants to PM me, I can give links to educational sites.

Hugs,

Liz V.

 

[RainSong]

I have to say, to each their own. Some things work better (or worse) for some people.

There are different types of Anti Depressants that work by doing different things. In my case, the Effexor was a lifesaver, though towards the end it wasn't working as well. I was weaned off it with no issues, in two weeks. I was on it for PPD (Post Partum Depression), and was just recently put back on another SSRI- that is, Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor- Effexor and Prozac are both SSRI. I also have a small bottle of Xanex around and HATE taking it because it makes me twitchy.

The only reason I'm on the Fluoxetine (generic Prozac) is to see if my almost continual pain was anxiety/depression caused.

I think some people need the drugs, personally- chemical imbalance, hormonal imbalances, etc cannot be treated with therapy alone- though they may be helped. HOWEVER, my advise is to try therapy too. It's done wonders for me, and I was talking to a counselor, NOT a full-fledged head doctor

Problem is, not everything is based on a therapy-treatable issue.

I've only been on the Fluoxetine for 4 days now, and I am not liking it. I've been trying to avoid medications, but if it stops the pain....

At any rate, it's all my opinion. A person needs to do what is right for them- be it only meds, only counseling, or both. No one thing will work for everyone. I do believe all options should be explored.

But you know, it can be impossible to do couseling with some inurances. Ours will only pay for 20 visits a year, and the co-pay cost even in-network is too high. We can't afford it, so I don't have any counseling anymore. Great. Oh well...

 

[Pandora]

Last year I went thru a terrible bout of depression. I won't go into details, but suffice it to say I was in bed for 3 months straight. One day I woke up and was feeling better. Went back to work, got everything else straightend out, though not overnight. I'm off my meds now and am doing terrifc. I still have a bad day every so often, but not as bad and I bounce right back. It's hard to go thru.