Empty Nest on the Holidays

[Marty]

Ok who else is not happy with their empty nest?

Dan wasn't here early in the morning to watch the Macy's Day Parade with me. grrrrrrr Not that he has since he was a teenager but at least he lived here and was under foot while I was trying to cook dinner.

He did show up for orderves and dinner of course but didn't have his true love with him which disappointed me. She has to go to Alabama to be with her family and at the last minute, they decided they just couldn't do both places in one day so they had to split up for it.

Now I'm fretting about Christmas Eve and Christmas Day something awful. Christmas Eve he will be with his friends having a party instead of having the gang here with us old fok. The whole gang always came here on Christmas Eve and there was tons of food and fun and joking and noise. I tried to convince him to come on Christmas Eve and spend the night but he has his own plans. Why do I get this sinking feeling nobody wnats to sing Christmas Carols around the piano anymore on Christmas Eve??? Christmas morning will be horrible. No pitter patter of tiny footsteps rushing in the liviing room to see what Santa left. No size 13's thumping down the hall like a herd of elephants either to see what Santa left. And knowing my kid, he'll sleep till noon before he heads this way on Christmas Day. What the heck is Mr. Retirement and I supposed to do? Wake up and stare at each other, have a bowl of oatmeal, check our Depends and have a good cry? This stinks!

Next year will be different because the baby will be here and by golly on Christmas morning I'll be beating their door down at 6:00 AM!!!

 

[Equuisize]

I know, I know Marty....

But rest assured very soon those 'old' traditons that seem silly this

year will soon become very important again.

My youngest son, that is this year a Daddy for the first time at Christmas

now tells people about how old such and such orthis or that Christmas

decoration is.

It makes me smile, on the inside of course, can't let on I knew he'd come

back around.

Doesn't help that first holiday of empty nesting though....sending a

cyber hug.

 

[LindaL]

I feel your "pain" Marty...

Being 3000 miles away from my kids feels so.....far! I miss seeing them at the Holiday dinners and giving them their gifts in person. It hasn't been in my budget to either go to Oregon or have my kids come here for Christmas, so this will our 2nd Christmas without seeing them. I know they are "grown" now, but I am still their "Mom" and they will always be my "kids"...even if we all make our own new traditions along the way.

 

[Reble]

I understand what you are feeling, being my 4 kids have grown up it has been years since our family have been together for Christmas Eve or Christmas day.. being so so many extended family members we had to finally say OK the first weekend before Christmas is our Christmas family get together and we now have a total of 18 of us and make that weekend our very own Christmas time of the year. now we are still lucky to go to my youngest daughters home on Christmas Day which they only live 15 minutes away. The nice part is than we get to sit and enjoy.

As time goes on and as you say the little one will soon be here. Things will change again.

I Know it is hard we hate change but can be good.

Keep smiling and go out and enjoy your 4 legged kids ((((( HUGS)))))

 

[Tab]

Sometimes it would be easier being far away. Being on the other end (a young family) it is so hard to determine where to go for Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, etc. You don't want anyone to be left out but that is always what happens when you are pulled in so many different directions. It is also hard because you would like to have some enjoyment with your own family (if you are married or have your own children) and that isn't always possible when you are being pulled here and there all the time. I can't empathize with empty nesters yet, but your post made me feel badly about my mom, who has ONE event that we are REQUIRED to attend every year. I'm glad to go to that one event because she, like you, tends to get the short end of the stick because her kids are always being pulled everywhere else. It's a challenge that can take some of the joy out of the season.

I hope you have your family on Christmas. You should definitely express to your son that you missed him AND his other half terribly

Have a great Christmas, Marty, and make sure you get your required one event

 

[minisch]

At least you have Mr. Retirement

 

[bevann]

Sorry you are feeling so down.Christmas and any holiday has never been the same for me since my dad died in 1974.He was the 1 who always got into the spirit of any holiday.He always had a trunkful of turkeys and another trunkful of liquor to pass out to family and friends.He and my mom would go to school to visit the nurse , get a couple of needy kids and take them downtown to buy a new winter coat and gloves and hat. .He decorated the house inside and out and my parents always had lots of holiday parties.Several of their friends had no kids so they would come over and put together all our toys on Christmas Eve. Any other holiday he took the whole family including grandkids out for a dinner at some nice restaurant.Yesterday while I was outside putting up my lighted horse and trees I was really wishing for my dad.He would be right there helping me.I can't even get my son and grandaughter to go to family dinners anymore at my neices' homes. They can't stand my sister(who is a real selfish immature Bi--- at age 65.I have decide that I love seeing my neices and I will go there as usual.Don't know what will happen for Christmas.I only hear from my grandaughter if she needs something or wants money.I am tired of being just a wallet.If I call her she doesn't have time to talk-says she will call back and doesn't.We live in the same town and I have seen her 1 time since July.She is 19 and a college student but needs to grow up a bit.Has asked for money for Christmas so she can fly to CA to visit a friend who has moved there recently.Seriously thinking about $5 in an envelope and staying home with my horses Christmas morning. I think I am becoming Scrooge.My favorite place on earth is my barn with all my critters.That's where I just may be Christmas morning and go to my neices for dinner later in the day.

 

[Marty]

OK well then, EVERYBODY come to my place for Christmas!

 

[Bess Kelly]

Well, at least Mr Retirement is THERE.

When I was a newlywed and then later with family, my husband and I had a great arrangement. HIS folks had a huge Thanksgiving dinner, we all attended. At Christmas MY folks had Xmas dinner, we went there. This of course took care of the eating. We were fortunate that they lived near and we could stop at each on the holiday not eating there anyway. Some can't. Parents need to understand! My mom would still cook and act like we should eat again.....she's still that way and doesn't even do the meals anymore.

I, on the other hand, kinda enjoy not having the decision anymore. I don't get upset if either of my kids says they're not coming over, etc. Works ok for me. I just try to be realistic.....and enjoy some down time. Just wait until they all move BACK HOME, like mine!

 

[barnbum]

This year Rachel said she could get either Thanksgiving or Christmas off and which did I want? I told her CHRISTMAS, no question. We talked to Justin and Jenn and all kids, including Rach's awesome bf, decided to come Sunday for Thanksgiving. On Thursday morning I got a beef stew going in the crock pot, then Mark and I took Buddy and walked 5 miles along Seneca Lake. It was so much fun--so peaceful. Justin did stop in later--they were at his in-laws and nothing was ready so he stopped over with was awesome.

I embrace the quiet of empty nest and spend a lot more time in the barn and in my quilting studio. BUT--I spend my days with 23 lively 10-11-year olds--so the peace is lovely to me.

Jenn, Rachel and I make frequent texts and emails, which I love. And since Rach has four days off for Christmas, she said she may spend a few nights here--which I will LOVE. She always makes me laugh.

 

[heartkranch]

First Holidays I'm not living at home. Atleast you guys want your kiddo's home. My mother told me and my little brother she hated us both, and don't want anything to do with us. ( I didn't loan her money). So we both decided to go to our grandparents house for it. I lived with my grandparents for the last 3 years, so I think my grandmother misses me.

Christmas I think we are going to my grandparents again, and then going to the fiancee's fathers house.

 

[cretahillsgal]

Well..... I come from a HUGE family. And it is common knowledge if you marry into our family you had better be prepared to be at Thanksgiving for lunch and there on Christmas Eve. Even though our family is large (40+) we are still very close. Fortunately we all live near one another as well as all the "in-laws" are nearby. So there really is not any traveling.

Hubby and I and our kid do Thanksgiving lunch with my fam and supper with his family. Christmas Eve is with my family and Christmas lunch with his. And all the other aunts, uncles and cousins do the same. We have even all had hollidays together too. Having 80+ people together is so much fun!

And nobody gets left out.