PaintedPromiseRanch
Well-Known Member
by way of history my husband has told me for 8 years "i don't dance" and although it was a big thing to me before i met him, i didn't miss it nearly as much as i thought i would because we have so much else going on and he is such a good guy. also he has post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and we don't drink *much* and both have allergies bad enough that cigarette smoke really bothers us, to the point of making us physically ill, so the "bar scene" is just not for us. :smileypuke:
HOWEVER he lost an uncle to cancer a month or so ago, had to fly back to Indiana alone for the funeral because we both couldn't leave on such short notice... i hated sending him back to spend several days with his family (long story but his family is HORRIBLE and does NOT deserve him!!) but he was very close to this uncle and the loss hit him pretty hard. well he scared me to death, came home from the funeral trip and very seriously said to me "we need to make some changes in our marriage" - well my heart just dropped to the bottom of my stomach, until he continued to say we need to spend more time doing fun things together, showing that we appreciate each other, he needs to kiss and hug me more - well as you can imagine my smile got bigger and bigger! :bgrin then he dropped the BIG bomb - he wants us to take dancing lessons! at first i guess it just didn't sink in, and as i have gotten older my right hip and my knees bother me a lot, so fool that i am i told him it wasn't really necessary (after all, all that extra kissing and hugging already set my head spinning
: ) - but he insisted so i went along, figuring it wouldn't last. he had a bit of car trouble the night of our first lesson which spoiled our going out to dinner beforehand and kinda put a damper on things but he insisted we keep to the lesson plan and it was fun, even though it's really hard because it's just natural for me to follow the beat of the music and if he doesn't, it seems like i am trying to lead... he keeps telling me "remember i'm a WHITE guy" (no rhythm LOL), and since he used to clog as a teen he was kinda stomping instead of sliding, but i praised him a lot and we had a good time. i still wasn't sure he would really continue though...
in between, we ended up at a Golden Corral (buffet restaurant) in a not-so-nice
part of town last weekend, really crowded so could not get a table where he could have his back to the wall like he prefers, and wow what an experience for me, his PTSD was kicking in and his eyes were flicking back and forth trying to watch everything at once, reminded me of the robot guy in the Terminator movie... he said to me later when we were talking about it, "you have no idea how many guns i saw!" - i guess i am naive and innocent, it never even occurred to me that any of those ghetto-looking people would actually bring a gun into a restaurant! i was too busy rolling my eyes at the way they dressed, baggy pants on the guys and way-too-tight clothes on the chubby gals...
: don't people look in the mirror before they leave their home? i would NOT want anyone to see ME dressed like that
: anyway it really brought home to me how his PTSD affects him and how hard it is for him to go somewhere like a bar...
back to the dance lessons and me thinking it wouldn't last... BOY WAS I WRONG! we went for our second lesson last night, and we had so much fun! even with not one step of practice the two weeks in between, he has really improved and is just blowing me away. he tried a new trick for himself, focusing on me, and although i felt kinda like a bug under a microscope :new_shocked: (i guess i didn't realize, that i am so used to him scanning constantly and NOT focusing on me!) it really helped him to shut out the surroundings and concentrate on his footwork and our dancing together, and the rhythm of the music, and WOW! he is doing so good :aktion033: :aktion033: i have found that i missed it more than i realized, and i can't stop grinning :bgrin :bgrin
to know that he is coming so far out of his comfort zone just to make me happy means so much to me!
before i met him i had 20 years of not-so-good luck with men, 2 bad marriages and several bad boyfriends after i swore i would never marry again... i had to call him this morning on my way to work and tell him, i was driving along thinking about last night and just grinning from ear to ear, along with the tears in my eyes from being so happy... if he is my reward for those 20 bad years, i would do it all over again just to get to him.
it just blows me away to KNOW how much he loves me... i've never had that before.
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thanks for letting me share!
HOWEVER he lost an uncle to cancer a month or so ago, had to fly back to Indiana alone for the funeral because we both couldn't leave on such short notice... i hated sending him back to spend several days with his family (long story but his family is HORRIBLE and does NOT deserve him!!) but he was very close to this uncle and the loss hit him pretty hard. well he scared me to death, came home from the funeral trip and very seriously said to me "we need to make some changes in our marriage" - well my heart just dropped to the bottom of my stomach, until he continued to say we need to spend more time doing fun things together, showing that we appreciate each other, he needs to kiss and hug me more - well as you can imagine my smile got bigger and bigger! :bgrin then he dropped the BIG bomb - he wants us to take dancing lessons! at first i guess it just didn't sink in, and as i have gotten older my right hip and my knees bother me a lot, so fool that i am i told him it wasn't really necessary (after all, all that extra kissing and hugging already set my head spinning
in between, we ended up at a Golden Corral (buffet restaurant) in a not-so-nice
back to the dance lessons and me thinking it wouldn't last... BOY WAS I WRONG! we went for our second lesson last night, and we had so much fun! even with not one step of practice the two weeks in between, he has really improved and is just blowing me away. he tried a new trick for himself, focusing on me, and although i felt kinda like a bug under a microscope :new_shocked: (i guess i didn't realize, that i am so used to him scanning constantly and NOT focusing on me!) it really helped him to shut out the surroundings and concentrate on his footwork and our dancing together, and the rhythm of the music, and WOW! he is doing so good :aktion033: :aktion033: i have found that i missed it more than i realized, and i can't stop grinning :bgrin :bgrin
to know that he is coming so far out of his comfort zone just to make me happy means so much to me!
before i met him i had 20 years of not-so-good luck with men, 2 bad marriages and several bad boyfriends after i swore i would never marry again... i had to call him this morning on my way to work and tell him, i was driving along thinking about last night and just grinning from ear to ear, along with the tears in my eyes from being so happy... if he is my reward for those 20 bad years, i would do it all over again just to get to him.
it just blows me away to KNOW how much he loves me... i've never had that before.
thanks for letting me share!
