i'm very sorry

[ab_smf]

:no: i'm sorry i started the forum topic and made you all fight. it wasn't what i wanted to happen. all i wanted to do was to be honest, and seek some help and prayers. i know what i did was worng, i hope to god that this wouldn't had happened to me. but i also wanted to tell you about myself, maybe it'll clear some of this mess up. i'm 19,a senior and will be in college in aug.(i believe). anyways. i had a stroke when i was two months old, it left my one side weak, and my other strong. i have a learning problem, but i'm working so hard to learn. my mother had me when she was almost 20, she has a sickness to drink alot when shes stressed out. and my father,as he is unknown to me by looks and name. but i was told that he didn't want noting to do with us. when i was 6/7 my mother got married to my stepdad, who i and he don't get along in the same house,so i moved in with my grandfolks at the farm. we use to own large horses but i couldn't handle them so my grandpa found me a mini cross colt to play with. i fallen in love and wanted more and thought raising minis would be fun. so we bought some more of the pure breed ones and i was in heaven. each one was special. and i love them dearly. when i'm blue i went to them for confort,and lots of huggles. we do lost horses by old age,or twisted guts,after they had to be put down,i would be sad for months. and i wanted to be a vet so i could help animals. i raised kittens,puppies,even bunnies as a child. i know i can't spell right half the time,it's just part of my learning disables. when i need help,i ask for it. over the years i had many surgreys, and had dealed with pain. but maybe thats why i'm brave to up with the sh*t i go throw. i don't ask for attention from you all,just giving you an image in your minds how life been for me. life can go by and once awhile i do forget sometimes to do things,but i try my best to make it up next time. what happened to style was wrong, and i know it was. and i had my butt chewed for it by my granfolks and some other members. but i learn my lession hard and good.

: i may not pass as a vet,but i won't stop trying. and when i get my leg healed i'm going to kick butt in school and spend more time with all my horses. less computer time. i'll be cutting back horses and keep a few i have. sell foals every year to good homes. show 1 or 2 a year hopefully. again i'm very sorry i got you all fighting.

amanda

p.s. please stop fighting its not worth it, mary lou you can take me off the forum if you want. :saludando:

 

[runamuk]

Hi Amanda

From your story here it sounds like you've been travelling a tough road. I hope you heal up from surgery. Everyone makes mistakes and from what I have been reading it sounds like you made a doozy. I will tell you what I do with my kids. Learn from that mistake and don't make it again, focus on trying harder next time, and suck it up and accept the consequences. I hope you can find good homes for your horses and spend your time focusing on school college isn't forever and when your done you will have a direction and more knowledge to decide if you still want to do the horse thing. I wish you success and happiness and good luck with college.

Rori

 

[mininik]

Hey Amanda, you don't need to go anywhere and I'm sure Mary Lou isn't going to send you away.

: It's too bad you've had such a hard go at life so far but hopefully things will get better for you and you've learned your lesson about always watching out for the animals in your care. My posts on this topic might have seemed a bit harsh to some but they were lit with truth and caring (no matter what anyone thinks). I was never looking for a fight, but I also wasn't going to sugar coat my opinion. I do hope everything works out for you, your family and your critters.

 

[MeadowRidge Farm]

Amanda, it takes a very special type of person to come forward and admit when you are wrong, so thank you for doing that. Yes you have made some BIG mistakes, but you will also come away learning from the mistake you have made, and you try even harder not to repeat another mistake. No one is perfect, and we all do our share of mistakes, but we do learn. Yes, you have had a rough life, but life goes on and you just do the best you can. Think very carefully about your future and what you want to do with it regarding animals, and college, good luck in whatever you do. Corinne

 

[minimule]

Amanda, you're a brave kid. I'm sorry you had to learn such a hard lesson. Just take what you learned and grow from there.

Stick around Kid! You'll learn more here....maybe without having to learn the hard way.

 

[nootka]

You coming here to explain yourself is a big step and it really helps us all to understand you. All we see is type on a computer screen and we each interpret it how we will. Lots of things make us see things differently and unfortunately, there have been people who tell outrageous stories here for attention and/or personal gain, seemed like several of them in a short time frame not all that long ago, so I think we are a bit more than wary, and it's hard not to be.

I think whomever is your caretaker/adult guardian should perhaps help you with your animal care from the sounds of it. Maybe make a friend nearby that could come over and share the horses with you...? I don't know a lot about your abilities and disabilities, but if you are unable to do certain things for yourself, and properly care for the animals because of it, I don't know that you should "get your butt chewed" per se.

Like I said in my original post I didn't much understand how what happened COULD happen, but your explanation makes it a little more clear to me.

Anyway, I am sorry for the rough life you've had and are having. Please don't leave when it's clear you need a lot of advice and I think there may just be one of us not too far away from you so you never know who might just be able to offer that help, be it a visit once in a while or some helpful advice, etc.

Don't worry about "us fighting" as "we" tend to do this once in a while, and it will only get a little more intense here over the next few months as many of us are up watching mares foal and getting ready for show season. We'll sort it out and ML keeps us all in line anyway.

Thank you for helping us put the pieces together. Hope we do, indeed, have some help to offer you and can help you make better decisions.

Liz M.

 

[Buckskin gal]

Amanda, I am sure you didn't intend your post to start the flames from a few. You were sincere about being very upset over letting such a tragic thing happen to your horse and you probably thought it would be better to get it off your chest than to try and hide the fact. It took courage to put yourself in the line of fire here on the forum. Take the experience and learn from it and go on to become a better horsewoman. Sometimes judgement needs to be withheld about matters and people on the forum but there are all kinds here and therefore you get all kinds of reactions. I am sorry you have disabilities to live with but don't ever let them hold you back from pursuing good goals. There are even doctors who don't spell well and yet they do fine for themselves. There are ways to learn to compensate for disabilities. I know a young man that had a stroke when he was just an infant. This young man was left paralyzed in his left arm and affected his speech but he has built the strength in his right arm to the point of being able to even handle bales of hay. He graduated from high school and is going to be a success at whatever he chooses just because he has the power of determination. I wish you lots of success in your goal to become a vet. Keep coming to this forum because you can continue to learn from some wonderful people and you can always learn to ignore the ones who are a pain in the butt! Mary

 

[sedeh]

Amanda,

Welcome to the forum and I wish you good luck in the future. As long as we keep learning from our mistakes we grow. Lord knows I've made my share.....but I only seem to grow sideways anymore. :bgrin