Said GoodBye today

[Brandi*]

I may get flammed for this but I really need to talk this out so that I can stop crying. My steer, Buddy, served his purpose today

When I got Buddy, he was just supposed to be a friend for Melody. From the start, my Dad and husband had other plans for him. Once Melody went to live with her previous owner he was just a really big pet. But it quickly became apparent that he wouldn't have made a very good friend for her anyways. His horns were huge and he would have been rough with her at times. Reggie, my jersey mix would have been a much better choice but he came later.

Anyways, Buddy was always very crazy. He would run through anything that was blocking him and had no idea how big he was. He was only tame when he wanted to be. I could pet him all over but only when he was eating. Other than being pretty funny when he played, he was not a pet. Thank GOD he never needed vet care after he got bigger because somebody would have been hurt. There was no taming the beast. And he wasn't the smartest either lol. He did however, always respect my space and was never ever rough with me even when he was trying to play with me.

It came to a point where I was just keeping him because I didn't want him to die. I knew if I sold him that he would be processed right away but I also knew I couldn't keep him forever.

I eat beef on a weekly basis and I don't have a problem with it. I think the problem I have is that I raised him from when he was about 4 months. Even though he was crazy, I did get to know his personality.

My whole life I have been about "saving" animals and today I feel like I let myself and him down. I know it had to happen and I just feel silly for getting so upset over this

I mean it's not like I am a vegetarian. Plus I wasn't bonded with him or anything. They don't bond with us the same as horses do. They could care less if you are out there with them or not.

It was a whole process for me to make the decision. I NEVER thought I would be able to go through with it. But I have been to cattle auctions and I didn't want it to end that way either. At least here I know he had green pastures, a full belly, scratches on his head, apples and carrots, friends, and love. He was never prodded with an electrical probe or smooshed into a crowded cattle trailer. That alone gives me some peace that I made the right decision. If cows go to heaven I hope he knows that I appreciate his sacrifice.

I'm sorry this is kinda all over the place but I just needed to let it out I guess. I had to stay at my mother n laws house last night cause I just couldn't bare to be here when the guy showed up. Hubby was very helpful and understanding.

Buddy when he first came here.

Buddy as an adult.

 

[ShaunaL]

I'm sorry to hear about Buddy

 

[Keri]

We had quite a few pet steers growing up and even showed 4-H with them. But once they hit slaughter weight, they become nasty. After being hurt several times trying to get a steer ready to show, I realized I had no problem sending them to slaughter.

The first is always hard. We cried when our first steer was taken to the locker. But its better him than you being laid up in the hospital.

 

[Miniv]

Trust me, I understand.

We had some folks up the road from us who were our neighbor's ranch hands. They took in a calf as a bottle baby for their boss and then had to move. So we bought him as a steer (just weaned off the bottle) with the intent of having him for our freezer eventually. We named him "Hamburger" on purpose!

We've had him now for 2 years. It's definitely time to let him go........ But, although he doesn't realize how huge he is, he's very tame. Both Larry and I know we have to do it, but we keep puting it off.

 

[Lucky-C-Acres-Minis]

Having grown up on a dairy farm I've sent many steers to slaughter after spending the time bottle feeding them, feeding them, grooming them, halter breaking etc.. Course they all had names like "T-bone", "Burger", "Rib-Eye", "Steak"

Have to say that I do miss raising the big guys and having that "home-grown" meat in the freezer, meat from the store doesn't taste nearly as good

 

[Brandi*]

You guys have no idea how much you have lifted my spirits

Just to know I am not a wierdo is a great thing right now. Sometimes I feel like no one can possibly understand where I'm coming from and then I come to the forum and I am assured that others have been in my shoes too.

When I was growing up my father would always buy 2 cows and keep them for a year to two years. We would always play with them but once he decided which one was going to bite the bullet he would tell us and we wouldn't play with that one anymore. It was always sad to see the puddle of blood when I came home from school but I hadn't been the one feeding them and at that time I really didn't spend that much time with them.

I just kinda feel raw inside right now. I feel like I issued a death sentence and I guess I basically did. I have never killed an animal before and it's not a very comfortable feeling for me.

I told my husband that I will NOT be buying another beef cow (it was not my intention in the first place). I do really like home grown beef and we can always buy half a steer from a rancher. Or if he insists on getting another one I will not name it nor will I be the one bottle feeding it.

Thanks again for making me feel so much better.

Hopefully the crying will stop after today.

 

[chandab]

We raise beef cattle, and always keep a steer for ourselves. My husband doesn't like to butcher meat, so they always go to the local processor, and he takes care of it start to finish, we get our steer back in nice frozen white packages ready for our freezer.

When we got married, the steer was "Chocolate"; we've had a "Hamburger" and a "T-Bone" and this year's steer is "Turkey" (he's charlois cross so white, and that makes him the other white meat, turkey

). I don't make pets out them, it doesn't work.

You can't beat home-grown for taste.

 

[Watcheye]

I wish I was a vegetarian.

 

[Sonya]

Don't feel bad Brandi, it is a fact of life for beef cows. When I was young I did a 4-h project with a calf...could never do it again. Our plan was to eat him, but I of course got attached. I was told (by my parents) that he would be sold for someone else's freezer...I was gullable (sp?) so I believed that's what happened when I came home from school and he was not there. Years later I found out that he did end up in our freezer...even as an adult and finding this out made me sick.

Your guy (and mine) had a much better life than most beef cattle so try to be comforted by that fact. ((hugs))

 

[Reijel's Mom]

I completely understand, and no one here has the right to judge you unless they are vegetarian. I would LIKE to be a vegetarian, and have even tried it, but I'm just not. I feel bad that your guy had to go, I've enjoyed his pictures and his story, but Sonya is right, he had a MUCH better life than most.

If I get a bigger place someday I'd like to raise our own food. I know it will be incredibly difficult for me when it's time, though, and I may well chicken out. Yes, I grew up on a farm, but it's different when YOU are the one making that decison. But the fact is, if I can humanely raise my own animals for food, I won't be buying animals that are raised/slaughtered in conditions that I don't support.

 

[Mona]

So sorry things turned out that way for you when the time came to make the decision. That is why I could never raise anything to eat. My stepdad keeps bugging me to raise a pig, or a cow, or chickens...NO WAY could I raise something and then kill it to eat! I think it would be easier of you "farmed" them in large numbers so as not to become attached to them like pets, but to raise them they way you have, it must be so difficult to let therm go. I must say, he was certainly a GORGEOUS animal, and I don't even care for cows (live ones), but he is so pretty!

 

[rockin r]

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} I am sorry Brandi......I hate those choices too....

 

[Brandi*]

You know, sometimes I wonder why I stick around the forum even though I am horse-less now. But this has really shown me exactly why I do!!! You guys have really really really made me feel SO MUCH BETTER ABOUT THE WHOLE THING. It still hurts but it really makes me feel better to know that you guys, being animal lovers yourself, agree or support the decision I had to make. I was kinda feeling like maybe I wasn't such an animal lover after all. You guys have come to my rescue and I really do feel so much better this evening.

Relejs mom,

Everything you have said made complete sense to me. Thank you for putting it that way

Mona,

He was BEAUTFIUL and that made it even harder. I really kept thinking what a shame it was to kill such a pretty animal. I have never thought a cow was pretty but he was. He was a nice liver chesnut color. We wanted so badly to have his coat treated so we could keep it but it was going to be quite expensive and we just couldn't do it right now. I'm sure someone else will really appreciate it. I just wish I could have kept it here so I know it didn't go to waste.

All of your comments mean so much to me and have been a life saver today. The tears have stopped finally

 

[Sunny]

I don't think I'd be able to raise an animal for the freezer, either. It's all about the eyes for me. I couldn't look in them every day knowing what was going to happen..... I guess I'm just too much of a suck.

Speaking of funny names for a steer, though, a friend of mine had one that he named "Dinner Belle".

 

[Brandi*]

Fortunatley for me, Buddy's eyes were pretty empty. He wasn't home in there or something lol

His eyes were white with little black dots in the middle so he always had a crazy look to him like his eyes were buldging out of his head. Poor guy. He probably couldn't look calm if he tried. Reggie's eyes are much different. I can kinda see when he is thinking about something or what he is feeling too. Lucky for me (and him) he isn't a beef cow

 

[Jill]

I'm sorry, Brandi, for the emotions you've been feeling

We also eat beef, 1-2x a week. I don't like to think about where it comes from (which I know is shallow and dumb of me).

You made the only choice you could make.

 

[maplegum]

Why do we get so attached to these animals! I don't blame you for being upset. That would have had to be such a tough decision. We all know how much you LOVE animals. I'm not here to judge you, just support you.

I'm thinking of you,

xox Leonie xox

 

[Laura]

I'm so sorry Brandi. I'm trying very hard not to get attached to our steers.

Our "Hamburger" and yes, that is his name, is up in a pen for finishing right now. He goes in on Feb. 9th for processing. Our two steers from this year are "T-bone" and "Chuck". Hamburger is cute, bouncy and smarter than I'd like. My hubby keeps wanting to put off his date with destiny, so *I* finally made the call, made the appt. and put his big butt up myself and am feeding him out. I see no reason to spend good money on inferior beef when good angus beef is eating it's head off and COSTING me money. I'm sure I'll feel sad when he goes, but my first homegrown steak will probably cure that feeling...

 

[Brandi*]

I'm sure I'll feel sad when he goes, but my first homegrown steak will probably cure that feeling...

I have no idea how I will be about eating a steak or ground beef. The good thing is that it has to sit at the meat locker for two weeks. At least that will give me time to get over the initial shock. I know how good home grown beef is and I hope I can get past it. I won't know until I actually get it out to make something.

Thank you guys again for your wonderful support