Something to think about

[bfogg]

because I am on other Forums, such as Reiki Forums, Hypnosis Forums, Spiritual Forums, other horse Forums, and I was on the Forum being talked about(although I didn't have a clue about what happened till I read about it on here).

Now people are telling me people are sure to think I was involved.

It started me thinking,should I get off all the other Forums as well? Somone on those other Forums could do or say something that was not very well thought out and boom..........because we are on that same Forum??

I want to help people learn about their animals and that they will communicate and that they do think and feel and that it is real and I felt I did help people on here and help them help their animals.I want to help people learn about Reiki and I want to teach them about healing and to share what I know.You do that by hanging out with like minded people.But this makes me rethink being open and out there and posting about my readings and such.

Now I know that most of us on here are probably on other Forums as well, so now do we need to worry about being on other Forums because someone on there could do something that was not wise?

None of us are perfect and we all do stupid things sometimes and I think that was what must have happened .

Because I missed the whole thing I am guessing.

But I am really rethinking the whole being on different boards?

I am still just me and am still just trying to become a better person (cause I sure as heck am not perfect).

I am one who still has to work on being nonjudgemental,thinking bad thoughts about someone and listening to gossip and not liking a coworker. Everyday I wake up and pray to God to help me be a better and kinder person and everynight I still have to ask for forgiveness for something i did or didn't do during the day...........

I don't think I am ever going to make it thru being good all day.

But should we now start thinking about being on line?

Hugs

Bonnie

 

[iluvwalkers]

[SIZE=12pt]I think it has more to do with how you conduct yourself when on other forums. I don't think it is a problem if you are not getting yourself involved with being disrespectful to other forums you belong to and making fun of it's members. I know that you were not involved with what happen here because I did not see your name in that thread. Maybe if it all hadn't been closed down there wouldn't be a question of who was involved and who wasn't, not really fair to the ones weren't part of it. I think we need to be more careful and keep our guard up a little more on line, I know I do, this was a good lesson for me about who is on the other end typing so yes, we should "think" about being on line, not wether to be on line or not but just to beware when there. Nikki [/SIZE]

 

[mad for mini's]

Bonnie, you have helped many and I don't think that anyone would believe that you would ever be hateful or hurtful to anyone on any forum. You should have nothing to worry about.

It has opened my eyes to what is out there, this is the only forum that I visit so I was blind to the viciousness of other forums,

and I thought that the Fugly horse site was bad !

edit for spelling OH!

 

[Minimor]

Personally I don't see a problem with anyone being on other boards. However, being on one board shouldn't mean that you're free to totally slam people on another board....and if you do choose to do that, then you shouldn't be surprised if you get found out, and word of your conduct gets back to the board you were badmouthing.

From here on, Bonnie, when I say you I am not meaning you specifically--the "you" is meant very generally.

People should think before they open their mouths, or before they hit the send key when posting on the internet or sending e-mails. Don't just think about what you are saying or writing, think about what happens if you get caught saying or writing this. Can you handle the fall out from what you've said? Can you be a big enough person to stand up and say yes, I said that and I meant it--I'm sorry you were hurt by what I said, but it's what I truly felt/believed and I had reached the point where I just had to say it.....or maybe you might be a good enough person to admit that yes, I said some things I shouldn't have and yes I deserve that you be mad at me for saying those things, I'm sorry I hurt your feelings and next time around I should (and will) try to think things through better before I speak because I really didn't mean to take it that far, nor did I mean to hurt anyone with what I said...

Or are you the sort of person that figures you should do and say anything you like, that others should be careful of what they say so as not to hurt you, but you are under no obligation to show any such consideration for others? If you want to make fun of someone you will, and if you happen to get caught out you will just rant and scream about how you were just having fun and if someone got their feelings hurt then it's just all their own fault because they shouldn't have been listening to you anyway, and they're just mean and nasty people if they dare to point out how mean and hurtful you are....

Sadly, I have noticed that these days the majority of people seem to be in that latter category. There is no respect for others, no respect for other peoples' feelings or possessions or knowledge. If someone disagrees with one's views there is no respect for the opposing view, there is only ridicule. People like to shoot off their mouth, and if their mouths happen to get them into trouble, it's never their own fault--it is always someone else's fault. People tend to not say, or even think, gee, that was stupid of me to say that, I really got myself into trouble with that comment, I will have to try to be more careful of what I say next time. They just turn it all back onto the other person--make someone else into the bad guy. I wish people could take responsibility for their own actions and mistakes. It would make people a whole lot more likable.

Now, back to belonging to different groups--or forums if you will. Think of it as a group. Maybe you belong to the sewing group, and the stamp collecting group, and the birdwatching group. Nothing wrong with belonging to all these different groups. But, if you go to the bird group and run down the stamp collecting group, there's the chance that eventually word might get back to the stamp collectors. It's not going to look good for you if the stamp people find out that you are the one doing all the bad mouthing. It will look much better for you if the stamp people know that the other group is badmouthing them, but you are not a part of that, even if you are a part of the group. They might like you better still if they knew you quit the bird group because of all the backstabbing...but most will still like you okay as long as they know that you aren't one of the backstabbers... Mind you, if at every meeting for the past 6 months you do participate in the backstabbing, but this week you didn't get to the meeting and so didn't know what was said or who it was said about--you can't really claim innocence. Based on past history, there are those that might believe that had you been at the most recent meeting you would have been a part of what went on there.

People do need to be aware of how they are coming across to others at all times. Privacy is very relative. I thought of this analogy the other night. What you do in the privacy of your own home is your business. However, if whatever you're doing is done at night in front of the picture window with curtains open and lights on in the room....it becomes your neighborhood's business!!

The internet is much like that!!

Okay, there's a very long winded version of what iluvwalkers just said!!

 

[Jill]

I think sometimes good people get carried away and a group can spiral further than a person would just on his/her own. What I know of regarding that forum has to be just a fraction of what it was about. I know there were good things on that forum, I speculate that there may have been things worse than the one thing I read about. But, we should all know that each of us has done things we should not have and the one thing I know about on that forum is not worse that the worse thing I have ever done (and I do not think of myself as bad or mean person). No real answers here, I guess, but I think a lot of you, Bonnie, and the things you told me about Ollie were very meaningful to me and to my family.

 

[lvponies]

I don't think Minimor could have said it any better!!

I absolutely agree with everything she said.

Bonnie.....we love you. If you haven't done or said anything to knock this board or the members here, then you are blameless and have nothing to be ashamed of. I don't think there is anything wrong in belonging to as many forums as you please, I do think there is something very wrong with going to another forum and slamming this one!!! I have lost respect for some of the folks at that other forum and will always and forever look at their posts with suspicion.

 

[Leeana]

Removed my post for Mary Lou's sanity

Minimor ...right on

 

[Irish Hills Farm]

It's mind boggling that anyone can think their words on a computer are private. Every word is open to the world. Don't say anything you may regret. Never. Of course some use "edit" constantly--which would show they didn't think it through well before they hit "add reply." (Or, of course, it could be a typo fix.

)

You know, one would think that with all this "secret forum" b.s. that just went down, and how upset and shocked everyone is by it and let's remember Mary Lou just lost her youngest brother this past week, that people could come to the LB Forum at this time and act like grown ups and not try and get one more dig in, or keep the pot stirred. Enough is enough already! GROW UP!!

 

[anita]

Around forums is nice to hear other opinion, experience and is informational.

But disrespect and bashing people, even our Nation, makes me very mad.

I would say we let it go now. Makes no sence to talk about. Lets talk about more importend things

Today went smooth and nice. I saw people around I haven't seen for a while. It was a pleasure to read.

Thats what it should be fun. Hope it stays how it is now.

A

 

[Lucky-C-Acres-Minis]

QUOTE(barnbum @ Dec 15 2007, 06:34 PM)

It's mind boggling that anyone can think their words on a computer are private. Every word is open to the world. Don't say anything you may regret. Never. Of course some use "edit" constantly--which would show they didn't think it through well before they hit "add reply." (Or, of course, it could be a typo fix. )

You know, one would think that with all this "secret forum" b.s. that just went down, and how upset and shocked everyone is by it and let's remember Mary Lou just lost her youngest brother this past week, that people could come to the LB Forum at this time and act like grown ups and not try and get one more dig in, or keep the pot stirred. Enough is enough already! GROW UP!!

Well I'm guilty of using the edit, 99% of the time it's to add a thought I'd forgot or correct spelling so I guess barnbum's taking a "dig" at me

Shame on you Karla!

I'm pretty sure just about everyone on here has used the edit option

So not sure it's Karla who's "stirring the pot" here..

I'm part of a few other horse related forums but have one other that I frequent a lot besides LB, yes there are the arguments and disagreements but on that forum everyone has learned to agree to disagree..

 

[Yaddax3]

Bonnie, because of what I do for a living, there are plenty of people who criticize me. If I let what they say or write bother me, I am empowering them. I refuse to do that.

The best way to deal with some people is to ignore what they have to say.

I suggest you just continue to be what you always have been: A wonderful person who enriches the lives you touch.

 

[Danielle_E.]

You know, one would think that with all this "secret forum" b.s. that just went down, and how upset and shocked everyone is by it and let's remember Mary Lou just lost her youngest brother this past week, that people could come to the LB Forum at this time and act like grown ups and not try and get one more dig in, or keep the pot stirred. Enough is enough already! GROW UP!!

I am afraid I have to admit that Sheryl's last two sentences here is exactly how I am feeling at the moment with other people now saying they are leaving, etc. etc. etc. Sorry, but it's the way I feel because like many others right now I am going to focus on those that left because this happened directly to them BUT more than anything I am thinking we are on this site as "guests" of Mary Lou, this site. She does not deserve to have to deal with any of this at this point in time. NONE of it. If you want to leave, then do. If you want to stay WONDERFUL

, if you want to come back

, if you want to apologize

but truly please, for Mary Lou's sake, lets stop this. Put all of our emotions and feelings aside right now regarding this topic. Alot of people need healing, forgiveness, etc. BUT Mary Lou deserves so much more at this very moment, lets focus on that for now.