Teenage problems

[SammyL]

I have a teenage problem. I am so confused.

: Is that really surprising?

:

Well, I like this boy named Phillip. Phil and I began to be friends when we did this FFA petting zoo together. Ever since then, we have been fairly good friends. Talking in school and at FFA practices.

Well, a couple of months ago, he got MSN. So we began talking on there. And don't worry, if an unknown person tries to add me I block them. I talk to no one I do not know. Mostly it is my friends from my high school. We talked on there quite often, and for a long time. My parents monitor my time on the computer, so when they say "OFF!" I get off! :bgrin

One day, one of my other guy friends, Daniel, spilled the beans accidently. So Phil now knows. He told me, nicely, that being friends is all he wanted to be, and I accepted that. Now that Phil knows, it is like we are even closer. He tells me everything! We sit together at lunch sometimes, and we have long talks on MSN. I have never had so much in common with a boy! We both have a deep faith in God, and we know that family comes before all else. He respects the bond I have with my animals too. He told me one day, that I have more wisdom and character then anyone he knows, and he wishes everyone could hear. I said to him, that no one has every said that to me before, and he replied by saying that no one sees me like he does. Also, I was feeling "ugly" one day, and he told me that I am beautiful inside and out, no matter if other people can see it or not....

Just tonight, he came to me with a 'girl problem.' He wants to tell his crush that he likes her, but he is worried that she will not like him back. So I helped him through it. I did the best I could. I hope I helped him, at least a little.

But how can I get over him, and just accept that he is my friend, and that is all we ever will be? He doesn't like me, so why can't I get over him? I love talking to him, and he is one of my best guy friends, and I don't our relationship to change...So how do I get over him?

Thanks for all the help with this problem.

Sam

 

[Gizzmoe]

I dont have any advice as to how to get over him. I do want to say though be careful with what you choose to do either way. He sounds like a really great person to have as a friend and you never know sometimes you best friends end up being the people you end up with. Just because he doesnt want to be in a relationship now doesnt mean he wont ever. Not saying he will but keep that in mind.

 

[nootka]

I would vote for maintaining the friendship, but step back from it if you have to, for your own sake.

Everyone's right, it could work out later on, but if you either one make the wrong choice now, it could jeopardize that.

It will get easier, as time passes.

I'm sorry for the hurt for you, though.

Liz M.

 

[runamuk]

Well for what its worth.....I am an old mom after all

: friends are a whole lot harder to come by than "boyfriends"......I have gone through life with a similar problem but the reverse it was the guy not me.....we have been very good friends since high school...in fact he is the only person I kept in contact with after I got out of high school......we haven't talked or seen each other in 4 yr's since I moved to Idaho....BUT we could pick up right where we left off.....and honestly if he showed up at my house one day just cuz he felt like visiting Idaho I wouldn't be surprised.......he is a great guy but I have always only seen him as a friend although a very good one ....... heck he visited me and my hubby at the hospital after my first son was born and my family didn't even do that...he used to come take me to lunch on a whim and the "ladies" would gossip and my husband would laugh and ask if Albert had taken me to lunch

: he is someone who was like a brother to me always.....he would tell me when I screwed up even if I didn't want to know

: he would tell me how I was beatiful when I felt like pond scum, and he was always game to just go play on the weekends even if it involved my kids and hubby....he always has had great toys....jet ski's and four wheel drive's and fast cars..oh his favorite was to drive too fast and scare the living cr@p out of me....and he became either Uncle Albert to my kids or "moms boyfriend" :bgrin :bgrin

I honestly wouldn't trade that friendship for a crush ever........

 

[mininik]

Try to focus on loving yourself more. In other words: NO MORE "feeling ugly," silly! Think often of all of the many blessings in your life and be thankful for them including your good friend. There are many, many more fish in the sea although you never know as what starts with friendship could always lead to other feelings later. You're young. There is no rush to find "the perfect catch" and if you try I'm sure you'll find you have a lot in common with many more people than you ever thought (boys included). Personally, I can't wait to be on my own again... it's usually a lot more fun and a lot less hassle.

:

 

[SammyL]

Thanks everyone! Keep the advice coming please!

Oh, and believe me, I love myself! No one 'ugly' days!

:

:

You know, I never in my life dreamed would I be friends with Phil, or any of friends for that matter. I love my friends! They help me survive. I have lots guy friends and just a few girl friends. I only count two girls best friends. I only call one guy best friend. The rest of the guys are just friends I hang out with, but we never really discuss anything serious. Those guys can be serious, but I do not see that side of them often. I would have my friends no other way, they are who they are. I love that they can be themselves.

Everyone has great qualities. You just have to find them. I am lucky. I truly am. I found people who take me as I am, and they want me no other way.

It took me a long time to find these people, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. :bgrin

 

[stormo41]

I am also in High School, grade 12. I have sat and watched my friends date for 4 years, and i have seen the guys come and go. And i know what you must be feeling right now. It's always hard to make the decsions, that will keep friends friends, or make them something more. Since right now he has told you he just likes being friends, i would be content. He sounds like such a nice young man, i can see how you would want more then friendship. Being teenagers it takes a while for us to really tell what we are feeling. Just contuine what you have going, friendships always last longer then teenage couples ( i know that from watching them for 4 years

: )

I don't know whats in the futuer for you and this boy, but i hope you stay friends forever. There is nothing to get over, you seem like a nice responable young lady. It's important to feel good about yourself, I myself used to have "ugly days" but someone came along and changed that all for me. And remember if the right time comes for you and this boy, you will know it but whatever you don't force it.

oh yes i said i sat and watched my friends date for four years, well in september i meet a boy, and we are dating. Even though we both saw no point in dating at this age :lol: . The trick is to anyslise things before they happen, and let things happen on their own.

-Storm

if you ever need to talk PM me

 

[rabbitsfizz]

Sweetie," Lovers" come and go...Good Friends last forever.

That is information learned the hard way, believe me!!

:

 

[kaykay]

i had almost this exact same thing happen to me in high school. I really thought I could keep being "friends" with him as we had so much in common. But secretly a little part of me kept hoping he would see me as more then a friend. We had a talk once and I told him you should never hold feelings in and should always let someone know when you care about them. A couple days later he called and said he had a big suprise for me and wanted to take me to the park. Go to the park and he gets out his guitar and starts singing "shower the people you know and love" one of my favorite james taylor songs. Well im standing there just glowing thinking hes singing TO ME!!! He gets done with the song and says because of you I finally told that girl that Im in love with her and she said she loves me too!! Wow i was devastated and felt like a fool

Anyway after that I had to pretty much stop being friends with him as it was just too painful for me. If you can really think of him as just a friend go for it but if your like me and are secretly hoping he will "come around" then I say stop before you get hurt worse

Kay

 

[Jenn]

Boys, and men, come and go. Heck, I've been married for four years and every now and then, I meet a man who makes me go, "Dang! Where were you before I got married?"

There will always be something better out there, no matter what.

In high school, especially, crushes come and go. No one meets their mate in high school anymore. You're young, you have a lot of living left to do - so throw this Phil back into the ocean and move on to someone who wants to date you.

 

[kaykay]

now wait jenn. i met my husband at 19 and we are still together 22 years later LOL. And they all said wed never make it

: Now all those people are on 2nd and 3rd marriages Sometimes you have to be really thankful for un answered prayers.