Who here has done older child adoption
- Thread starter wade3504
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runamuk
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Well my best friend did her first adoption and it was a 7 yr. old......went well took time...the child has some issues but any child that has been in the foster system will have issues.....she is now adopting a toddler from china and looking to do another older (this time 12-14 girl) from the states :bgrin :bgrin .....what sorts of specifics if any are you looking for? I think ALL adoption goes better if you have a good agency/advocate helping you......
Right now we are just looking at different options. I am not one to really insist on having a baby or infant, especially since I will end up working again with my transplant being finished. I plan on volunteering at a place locally called the hibiscus house that has foster children and children up for adoption. They also do parenting classes that I know we'll have to take eventually no matter what way we go with adopting. Having a baby myself is out of the question due to health issues.
Amanda
Amanda
runamuk
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With that in mind......start looking into agencies...contact several and ask lots of questions....find someone you are comfortable working with and who answers your questions with a fair amount of promptness
: a good social worker can make the difference between a smooth adoption and a bumpy adoption.......if you have any real specific questions I am more than happy to put you in touch with my friend.....
Gypsyheart
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Amanda, There are so many wonderful forums that can help you with choosing a child and how to deal with problems if any. Please remember that older children are often over looked. I think some children are better adjusted than others. Some of them settle right in and there are just "normal" kid -adult problems then there are those with too much trauma. You and your spouse have to learn to be very honest in your expectations and learn to ask the right questions. If adoption is the route you all go then I pray that you find those special ones. My brother was adopted at a young age. It turned out so great. He was such a blessing and I am so glad God let him come to our family. My friends are going to adopt 4 girls ranging in age 1year to 8 years. They fostered them but could'nt give them up.
: :aktion033: Perhaps you could start out as a foster home and see what you think? That way you will know first hand about the healing power of love. It has been so beautiful to watch my friends beautiful little girls bloom and prosper. They say mama and daddy like a musical song.Feel free to talk anytime ...I am there if you ever want to. Blessings always, Ramona
Here is a really good website / forum for you to check out and ask questions and do searches for topics like this, including "foster to adoption" which is usually the case when you adopt older children.
Foster and Adoptive Parents Forum
We've fostered young children that have left us to go into an adoption situation and we've fostered a total of 6 teen-agers that have been in long-term foster care with us, so very similar to adoption.
It has been VERY rewarding for us and you hear mostly about the BAD because the good situations the families are just living life and things are good and they are not neccessarily sharing that - the ones with bad experiences tend to be the ones you hear about.
You just need has much info as possible just to know exactly what you are getting in to and good social workers that give you lots of information and support.
Foster and Adoptive Parents Forum
We've fostered young children that have left us to go into an adoption situation and we've fostered a total of 6 teen-agers that have been in long-term foster care with us, so very similar to adoption.
It has been VERY rewarding for us and you hear mostly about the BAD because the good situations the families are just living life and things are good and they are not neccessarily sharing that - the ones with bad experiences tend to be the ones you hear about.
You just need has much info as possible just to know exactly what you are getting in to and good social workers that give you lots of information and support.
Michelle@wescofarms
Well-Known Member
Good for you to explore this avenue. We've discussed the foster care route or adopting again overseas - our ideal age range is the 9-11 year olds!
There are lots of resources on the Internet. We use to be on an older kids adoption list - it really was for parents to discuss handling the 'issues'. We're still on a few older kid lists (international ones) as we homeschool as well as adopted older children (6.5 and 13).
There are lots of resources on the Internet. We use to be on an older kids adoption list - it really was for parents to discuss handling the 'issues'. We're still on a few older kid lists (international ones) as we homeschool as well as adopted older children (6.5 and 13).
I've adopted three children, all at birth, so I know this if off subject of older births. They were private adoptions through an Adoption agency, if you are willing to take a mix raced child the waiting period is not as long as a healthy white child but it is still expensive. Two of my children are normal, my daughter however is not. Although they put my husband & i through extensive health & background checks ( From bank accounts to physicals & even AIDS testing) they didnt really require alot of history on the birth parents. As with most couples wanting children so badly, we didnt question it & were just lucky to be able to adopt. My daughter turns out to have severe mental problems which did not show up until she became a teenager, which we now know mostly shows up at this time. Because it was a closed adoption, we are unable to find out any more background then the short & incomplete paperwork we got. We were told that they type of illness she has is inheritable. If you go with an open adoption, you are in contact with the birth family, which can be good...or a total nightmare. If you go with a closed adoption, you have no contact with the birth parents, even if you need to. The only reason that we were able to adopt three children is that my father had passed away & left me some money, so while my brothers & sisters blew theres on cars & clothes & other "Stuff" I used mine for a family. There was still a 3-5 year waiting period for our first child, & 12-18 years ago they were $12,000, $15,000 & $21,000 each ( over a 5 year period). We spent the first couple of years terrified that the birth parents would return for their child, as we saw over & over on the TV. I can understand why people are chosing to go outside the US for adoptions nowdays. We looked into fostering, but were afraid of getting attached to a child & having it placed back in its home. We looked into children needing home through the state & found that there are not that many children needing homes, those available usually have special needs, & are emotionally disturbed, & having gone through 8 years of very emotional infertility & miscarriages, just like everyone else we wanted a healthy newborn. I am dealing with a severely disturbed child now & do it with love but it does take its tole on the whole family. Adoption can be a very special event, & if I can answer any questions you can email me.
