A Matter of Opinion

[Jill]

A lot of posts lately have just really made me

There are a lot of people who use this message board that become insulted and offended when another poster has a different opinion, a different preference, etc. I just do not understand why some people can't recognize a situation as a difference in opinion vs. finding reason to be bent out of shape.

I know here and in actual real life, I will often get frustrated when someone has a different opinion than I do but has no understanding of fact. That is frustrating, but not offensive. What comes to mind that's easy to illustrate is years ago during the OJ trial, I got really annoyed with someone who kept insisting DNA didn't mean anything because a lot of people have the same DNA (obviously, confused about DNA and blood type???) and her mind was made up -- so don't confuse her with the facts. I understand being frustrated (even when both sides are informed) but what is up with so many people being insulted and offended by opinions stated by another.

Maybe I should just have a coke and a smile and (maybe you know the rest).............

 

[iluvwalkers]

[SIZE=12pt]Jill, that's why I sit on my hands a lot

. What's the saying...arguing with a fool only makes two...

Nikki[/SIZE]

 

[Miniv]

Jill,

I don't understand why people get so emotional either. I try to be a "duck" on the Forum.......If someone disagrees. Fine. Let it just roll of my back. And sometimes a person pops in with an angle or suggestion that I haven't thought of, so it's all worth it.

MA

 

[StellaLenoir]

Jill, I could not agree more!

Opinions are great, makes the world an interesting place. I love reading all the different takes people have on things. How lucky we are that we can have a place to voice opinions, and ideas and learn from others.

I will give a thanks to all that post here, the opinionated, the knowledgable, and the helpfull, even the angry, it all comes together to make an intersting learning experience!

 

[nootka]

I don't mind a bit when people have different opinions.

What bothers me is the staunch ignorance in spite of their horse's best interests. People who truly care about their horses and do right by them don't bother me, even when they go on practicing things that make me shake my head in wonder (such as breeding obvious dwarfs).

Another thing that bothers me is saying one thing and doing another. People that have some credibility in the industry that they basically bought and then spreading lies about what they're really doing (meanwhile leading well-intentioned people far astray and taking advantage of them) that bothers me.

For example, if I know a certain trainer and have seen them with MY OWN EYES doing things I know this owner would not want done with or to their horse, and then hear on here how that trainer is the be-all and end-all, that gets under my skin. What can you do, though?

Liz

 

[misfitminis]

I think a lot of us have a tough time realizing how we sound when we are typing. I bet if folks met face to face that many many many conversations would be productive. Some have a hard time stressing their opinion without sounding rude, snotty, etc. I bet some don't realize they are doing it.

 

[Jill]

It is all "interesting". So many aspects that what I said here could be applied -- to depending on who's got what on their mind at the time. Personally, what was on my mind is that there are a some people who are out to be offended when others simply give their opinions and talk about the choices they make and dare to be happy about. Cah-ray-zee!!!

 

[Marty]

I'm passionate about certain subjects when they come up and I will not change my opinion on some things.

Other times when I read some posts that I think I will disagree with, I think "well they do have a good point there" and it makes me stop and think that there is more than one way to look at a subject other than my way, and then I consider that I could be wrong about it. Its a matter of keeping an open mind.

It is sometimes hard for me to convey what I am wanting to say through this keyboard and sometimes I don't come across the way intended so I have to go back and delete. Slinging insults at people's horses or being sarcastic or cruel, those are things I do not like.

 

[RockRiverTiff]

Personally, what was on my mind is that there are a some people who are out to be offended when others simply give their opinions and talk about the choices they make and dare to be happy about.

I am really offended by this Jill.

Sorry--couldn't help myself. I do wonder if we shouldn't have all forum members sign a disclaimer where they agree to respectfully accept differing opinions without interpreting them as attacks. Or perhaps we could turn some of the more heated debates into true popularity contests. We could put AMHA vs. AMHR, and 34" and under vs. 34" and over, and geldings vs. stallions, and small breeders vs. large breeders, and politics in showing vs. preparedness on the Chance auction, and you can make a small donation toward "your" side. The opinion that raises the most money is decreed the only true and correct opinion, and all the money goes to CMHR, so for once something productive comes of all this arguing.

 

[MSRminis]

I have not been here too long-but it does not take that long to weed out some of the posters. The ones that consistantly are rude. For example...and sorry Marty but I am going to use you as an example. I love to read Martys posts, often with a good sense of humor, offers heartfelt advice, and always seems welcoming and not haughty. If I posted something and Marty flamed me-I would re read in and consider her point of view and if I did not agree-OK. But I know she is not a rude/malicious poster in general. Some we all know are just that way no matter what. I guess my point is .."consider the source".

 

[Relic]

What really bothers me is the people who have posted in the past and then disappeared because of the flames they got for there OPINION when they expressed it. l also still to this day feel bad because l see Nathen is one who has never returned after the hassels he was put through time and time again...pity really for a student only learning and sharing...another thing that bothers me is the people who talk out of both sides of there mouths depending on which way the wind blows...other then that l can honestly say l've learned a few things along the way on here which is a good thing for me and the minis..

 

[Buckskin gal]

I do feel there are a lot of different type personalities on this forum and that does need to be considered rather than judging them to be what "we" may not be.! No one is so perfect to the point of making judgements of another.....but it is done. JMHO

 

[lvponies]

I love a good heated debate. Almost like how you can't help looking at a car crash! I get engrossed in everyone's opinions and tend to learn things along the way. I do have to say, that I do form opinions of folks based on how they word things and how they come across. I don't like reading those who always have a "holier than thou" attitude, but the good thing is that someone will come along and put them in their place. Just have to wait a few minutes and hit the refresh button a few times!!!

I love it here. Love all the varied opinions, the caring of the members when someone or some little horse is in need, the pictures of foals and show horses, the pride when one's horse does well, the flowers, the quilts and the puppies. As many have said before, we are a family and sometimes family members just don't get along so well. Doesn't mean that we wouldn't put the bickering aside and be there for each other if the need arose.

 

[txminipinto]

I agree that there are posters out there who intend on being offended. I know couple "real life" people like that. It doesn't matter what you say or how you say it, you've just offended them. Then there are the posters who get offended if you don't agree with their opinion. But what really gets me is the posters who LUV THEIR LITTLE HORSIES SOOOO MUCH, yet won't listen to those of us who've had the experience and are warning them of impending disaster. The problem with loving them that much is that you end up harming them unintentionally. Either by not teaching them respect of humans so that they push you around or by not giving them the recommended prevative care they need because you don't want to "hurt" them.

If owning and caring for horses has taught me anything, its that sometimes being a friend means being tough for the good of the other. And in case that wasn't clear enough, just like children, sometimes you have to spank their little butts to make a point!

Of course, then you have horses like my stallion, Happy. He's that rebelling teenager that makes you spank him in public because he loves the reaction he gets. Wonderful horse at home, bratty kid in front of a judge!

 

[Alex]

Just couldnt help but post here...

The majority of us read this forum to learn... how are we going to learn without the help of others and their opinions.IMO Al this forum is is a bunch of opinions; I agree some good and some bad. (not to get people fired up) There are a few poeple who seem to not care,or even aknowledge ones opinions. As I see it, if you dont like ones post or opinion you have two chocies, take it or leave it. We will all have our opinions and it is up to us if we want to express them.If we express them you have to consider that others will want to well you what they think etc. There is no need to get mad at what people have to say.

We ALL have diffrent view points and dont need bickering. We are a "family" and we dont need to get mad at each other.

 

[runamuk]

Lets see, I have opinions

some are strong, others are very open to change. I enjoy a good debate OR discussion. Much of what I type here on this forum , I have actually discussed many times in person with other mini people and even if we didn't agree we discussed it and walked away with things to think about. I have changed my opinion on several issues over the years being on this forum. My opinion changed because wonderful people were open to talking something through, and then giving me ideas of where to get more info and study the issue for myself.

I have a very inquisitive nature, and should have been a researcher OH!

I cannot tell you how many times people have brought up some topic I am loosely familiar with and taken off on a weeklong research bender

I also am usually dense enough to not always notice if someone is flaming me....unless they really spell it out and direct it at me

and for the record the little "spats" on this forum are nothing compared to some of the dog groups......those places can turn into major biker bars

direct flames and attacks to be expected, entire breeding programs publicly questioned, not for the sensitive.

 

[Buckskin gal]

Been doing some thinking about what you have said Jill. Isn't this getting frustrated or upset about what other peolple do, just a lack of control? I think we might ask ourselves what can "I do" to change rather than expect the other person to be different. Just as the person who gets upset with another persons opinion or preference, so can the person who gets upset with the person who gets upset with them...sort of a vicsous circle if we allow it. Instead of having the expectation for the other person to change, sometimes we need to change ourselves. Take the ones who became so upset with Nathan...they really acted as if he should change but did those same people ever stop to think that maybe it was their own attitude about him that needed changing? [who is so perfect that a little changing of themselves may change their problem with others] Just a thought about expectations of others. Mary

A lot of posts lately have just really made me

There are a lot of people who use this message board that become insulted and offended when another poster has a different opinion, a different preference, etc. I just do not understand why some people can't recognize a situation as a difference in opinion vs. finding reason to be bent out of shape.

I know here and in actual real life, I will often get frustrated when someone has a different opinion than I do but has no understanding of fact. That is frustrating, but not offensive. What comes to mind that's easy to illustrate is years ago during the OJ trial, I got really annoyed with someone who kept insisting DNA didn't mean anything because a lot of people have the same DNA (obviously, confused about DNA and blood type???) and her mind was made up -- so don't confuse her with the facts. I understand being frustrated (even when both sides are informed) but what is up with so many people being insulted and offended by opinions stated by another.

Maybe I should just have a coke and a smile and (maybe you know the rest).............

 

[Sonya]

I'll sum it up as simple as possible..I love all the differing opinions and views on this forum and I don't judge anyone based on a few threads...I don't mind alittle bickering and debate...but I DO HATE when people say hurtful, mean things to others, it's just not necessary. People can disagree without being nasty and hurtful to someone personally.

 

[Carol Z]

Many of you won't know me. I'm one of those older members who was here from the early forum years. I don't post any more, not because i was driven out or got mad at anyone, but really just because I just don't have any more to say

In all the years I've been a member of this forum I've seen the cycles. There is a natural turn over it seems. All of you who are so incredibly passionate now will eventually move on and leave this to another new group of just as passionate folks. There are not so many who have stuck it out all these years, and I imagine there are more like me who read but don't respond any more.

My advice to y'all is to enjoy the opportunity to participate in this community that allows you to interact with like minded individuals, and try not to be hostile to each other. It's just the internet

 

[Lucky-C-Acres-Minis]

Yes, we all have different views and opinions, and yes this wouldn't be a place of learning without the differences...

HOWEVER, there are a handful of posters on this forum who get downright nasty when you'e opinion/view is different from theirs and there are some who think they're 'always right' and what they say goes, it doesn't matter what others have done or seen if it differs from theres.. Am I perfect, nope (sure wish I was!) and yes I've been in my share of bickering and arguing but I have not ever put anyone down or belittled them in anyway.. I've seen WAY TO MANY times good, innocent people who are here to encourage, educate and learn, be put down left and right just because the other party had a difference in opinion.. I have become very good email buddies with one of these special persons and I can tell you she has A LOT of encouragment, support and knowledge to share, yet because she's been belittled and put down she doesn't post much, which is honestly very sad..

I myself have started posting less as I do not want to deal with the "you're wrong, I'm right" attitude of some of the posters and I tend to not read a lot of the posts on the forum, especially when they get heated because I have no desire to read the bickering, bickering isn't educational... I think what A LOT of people forget is when you point a finger at someone, three are pointing back at yourself..