a quandary

[WJS]

If your partner put this question to you, what would you say.

" I want you to give up your horses"

 

[Matt73]

It would depend why. If it was because we were hurting financially, then I would without question.

 

[Eagle]

I can quite honestly say that I would probably change my husband if he ever asked me this unless he had a VERY good reason. Maybe if we were financially broke or if I got sick (god forbid) but I just couldn't imagine my world without horses in it.

 

[Bess Kelly]

WHY ?

Of course, if it was my "partner" I should have some idea already.

So much depends on the circumstances of the actual relationship of the "partner" and you -- as well as the why factor -- geeesh.........couldn't answer.

Anyone who loved me wouldn't ask this unless it was an extreme reason. And, that reason could be just personal desire to be rid of the commitment to them and all that goes with it. So, reason and the results of divesting would be what I would have to consider. Like most, I assume.

 

[Minimor]

I voted no, no way, but have to add that would depend too...

If it were a financial crisis or serious illness then obviously cutting back would have to be looked at. Serious enough illness then I guess I would have to look at having the horses all gone.

But--if this were just his wishes--he wants to do something different or feels too much time is spent on the horses, or figures the horses are to blame for whatever problem exists in the relationship--then no.

I've seen it happen too many times that one partner insists that the other must give up her interest, be it horses or something else--she goes along with it & gives up the horses. Then not so far down the road /she comes to regret the fact that she gave up her horses. Generally it turns out that the real problem wasn't the horses--that was just the excuse given by the partner. Maybe he was already fooling around with someone else & chose to blame the horses to cover up his own fault/guilt, or perhaps he was just resentful of the time/money spent on the horses and figured if the horses were gone he'd get more attention--those are two scenarios. Usually it doesn't work--the horses are gone and the real underlying problem still exists.

 

[rabbitsfizz]

What would I say??

Nice knowing you.......

 

[weerunner]

My husband would never ask this of me unless the situation was dire and in that type of situation I would have already begun the process. But as long as all is well with our finances and our health, the horses stay! End of discussion.

 

[Riverrose28]

I didn't vote, reason being that Hubby has just as many horses as I do and we have had horses since 1977. If he asked me to sell them I know there would be a valid reason, and we are already scaling back as we are getting up in years. I always want to see horses out my window and hope to be able to keep them in my life, but if it is not to be then so be it, I would accept it.

 

[disneyhorse]

Obviously one can't answer without knowing why.

 

[Hosscrazy]

Would also need to know why. If it's a financial issue, that's one thing. If it's a lifestyle issue...well, that happened to me about 10 years ago and we parted ways

Liz N.

 

[Reble]

I am going to say yes, because the word partner.. he would not ask unless he had a good reason.

I would know it was for the best for both of us.

I guess I am one of the unusual ones that know we are partners in all our decisions.

I would ask the question why, but he would not say or even bring this up unless it was something out of our control and would be something we must do.

 

[Marty]

I would also want to know about how stable is your relationship with your partner? If he is someone relatively new or is blaming all problems in the relationship because of the horses, I'd have to really question that. If he's not going to be around for long anyhow, and you get rid of your horses, that would be terrible.

 

[Sandee]

My husband might wish I would give up horses (since they don't really interest him) but as others have said he would never ASK me to unless the situation (health, money,?) dictated it. He even hates to admit to others that he has told me "no more horses until I sell one" as he thinks it makes him sound bad! LOL

 

[mini horse mania]

My husband hates my minis. ...He told me if I got them I had to be the one to do everything. .he got burnt out on full size horses...and the cost to feed them. ..if money gets tight...then yes I will sell most of them. If not...he knows they are my enjoyment. He has actually let me buy more lately so I would quit bugging him...and so I wouldn't go back to work a public job.it depends on the reason why he wanted me to get rid of them as what the outcome would be....

 

[supaspot]

no chance !!!! and he knows that and would never ask , we did have in financial problems years ago and the question of selling my horses never arose .....even though we didnt eat properly the horses always did

 

[Tab]

Is it for selfish reasons? Or is it because that person sees that you are overwhelmed, overworked, physically unable? Is it a financial burden? Perhaps they need more time with you. Priorities and compromise are a part of every lasting relationship. Things change. How do YOU feel? I would compromise and cut back if that was necessary. I don't know if I can imagine life without horses, though, they are what make me ME

 

[Jill]

The first thing I'd do is ask myself how I married someone so incompatible with the things that are so important to me (and who can't appreciate their value to me even if they are not important to him). I couldn't really select a "fit" from the choices in the poll.

 

[MindyLee]

My husband has told me to sell them and even says he'll go out a kill them all the time.....

BUT he knows better and whats good for him! He deep down knows that I love them so he deals with them. Truely the only time he complains about them is when were in a tight spot for money or finds out how much the hay bill is. I only want 6 minis and right now have 8 with 3 pregos. So I do want to downsize a little.

HOWEVER this same man gets all overpertective when it comes to selling them also! So go figure! And he always loves the newborns!

 

[Eagle]

MindyLee my hubby moans constantly about how much they cost and how much time I spend with them but I just remind him of all his "toys" in the garage. I have cut down too and am happy with 7. I have 2 mares bred for 2012 but I won't breed again for a while to hopefully keep us both happy.

My hubby won't push it too far cos I think he is afraid I love the horses more and would choose them over him! Sssshhhh don't tell him. Lol

 

[Shari]

My husband tried to get me to give up horse's when we were first married. At the time I was training horse's at private barns and had a riding horse or two.

Wasn't a strain on the finances and at that time I boarded. Husband was away at sea a lot, so they helped keep me on a level keel.

But he has learned over the years, my parents couldn't break me of being horse crazy... he didn't have a chance.

Even when things were really bad, I was able to keep my core horse's ... like Maggie. Due to this last move, I did down size but I keep my 3 favorites. And at my age... 3 are more than enough.

Husband builds fencing, puts up sheds, helps, how ever he can, because he knows this is my only vise. I don't party, drink, smoke, go out... that is not my thing. Horse's are.