Am I overreacting?

midnight star stables · Aug 16, 2010

I am a college student. This year I got an apartment for three of us and the lease started in August. One tenant(we'll call him Bob) is a part time student, with a full time job - he moved in in August. Me and the other person are full time students and aren't moving in till the end of August.

All was good till today. An old roommate of mine from last year needs a place to stay for about 3-5 days. Her current lease ends before her new one starts. So Bob offers OUR place. I don't like this idea but I hate being mean, so I wouldn't have complained. I do know the girl, and even though I don't care for her irresponsible, parting ways, I can see the need to help a friend out. I also know Bob has a heart of gold...

Well when Bob told me about it, I simply asked what days. Of course it is the weekend that Bob, my family and I are all going away! So now there is going to be this girl in our apartment, with our stuff in it(with no locks on the rooms, other then the main door) with a key over a Friday, Saturday and Sunday with no one there to watch her. This sends red flags up everywhere to me!

It is our names on the lease, not her's. And she would be moving all her stuff in and out. Personally, I do NOT want her there. But we are not best friends either. I am very close to calling her and telling her that Bob was mistaken or telling Bob to stay home and keep an eye on her, and not come to our family function. I really do not want to argue with Bob as I'll be living with him this next year, and he does feel bad but I don't know what to do. I feel bad as it is very short notice(THIS weekend) but I am wondering where her family is? Most other tenants move back home. I know that I am very upset over this, but I am wondering if I am over reacting? Should I leave it be and not worry so? Thoughts?

Sue_C. · Aug 16, 2010

I would throw this back into Bob's court, and give him the choice of either telling her she cannot stay, or, he will HAVE to stay there while she is there.

Bob might have a heart of gold, but he should realize that what he is willing to share, isn't all his to share...and must accept the responsibility of his offer.

Miniv · Aug 16, 2010

Sue C. made a good call.......and no, you aren't overreacting. You're listening to your gut.

midnight star stables · Aug 16, 2010

Thank you for your thoughts!

I did send her a message explaining the importance of the weekend, and asked if she could try to make other arrangement. I told her that with no one there, it just wouldn't be appopriate.

I will also talk with Bob more this Thursday, when I have to go up to the apartment. He only means well, but that simply can't fly in our place.

He has known this friend longer then me, but still.

I am a bit more calm now, and I feel better since I told her how I feel. We will see what she has to say in return.

I am not used to so much drama! I like "go with the flow" but it this case, I am happy I said something. I like my horses, better company.

Frankie · Aug 16, 2010

Well young lady,,,,I am more concerned you living with this Bob character!!!! You are to toooo young!

I think we all need to do a better job of listening to our gut, and I think what you did was the right thing.

Now for this Bob guy.............

midnight star stables · Aug 17, 2010

Frankie said:
Well young lady,,,,I am more concerned you living with this Bob character!!!! You are to toooo young!

I think we all need to do a better job of listening to our gut, and I think what you did was the right thing.

Now for this Bob guy.............

Maybe my code-name should have been "Sue"... LOL

Carolyn, you are a very kind woman and a dear friend. I appreciate you thoughts and concerns about me.

Well, I guess I owe a bit of info, since you pointed it out. I am only 20 this year, so I will admit that I am a bit young. Bob and I both come from loving families who both have full knowledge of our living arrangements. Both parents adore the other party. Of all the people I have met in college, Bob and I get along the best. We share many of the same interests and come from the same area. He has helped me study and cook and I help keep him organized. My best friends from home love him and we have attended many family and friend functions together.

I would say I am a very casual drinker/partier and I have found many of my female college friends live that life style. I'd rather spend my money and time with my ponies. It is a relief to know someone like Bob, who doesn't mind spending the weekend with me and my horses, and missing the big party in 2C.

He has come to horse shows and helped with chores.

From where I stand, I feel it is important to have good friends as part of a healthy life. Too me, it doesn't matter if they are boy or girl, black or white, thin or fat, young or old. I care who they are.

So I do understand where you are coming from, I am confident in this decision.

Also, in years to come, I look forward to getting married and starting a family. Not now!

I have no desire to change my life yet, as I love chasing my dreams with my horses. Joy finished her Halter HOF this year and is just coming into her own in driving. Nitro only needs 2 stake wins for his HOF(and after a year of 7 reserve championships, I can only hope that will be soon! LOL). Cat will soon be coming home, with or without a foal. I am thinking of making another driving horse with her if she isn't meant to be a mommy. And I have HUGE hopes and dreams for my 2010 foal.

So horses are my priority, followed by school.

"Boys" fall somewhere further on the list. LOL.

But thank you again for caring. I talked with the girl and Bob, and she made other arrangements. Bob didn't want to miss my grandfather's birthday this weekend.