Any personnel managers out there in LB land?

[Maxi'sMinis]

I have a snake in the grass co-worker, an underminer, manipulator, liar

, cheat, instigator that coerces and intimidates subordinates. He butters you up one side and down the other to befriend you and then behind your back talks dirt about you. He has his cronies that follow him, they think he can help them and he really doesn't have that authority or power. Personally to my face he is friendly and suffocating and any work issues I confide to him he runs to everyone or who ever it maybe concerning and tells them his version.

This guy is undermining the staff to such a degree but on the other hand has our boss totally buffaloed. :arg! This guy is a silver tongued devil(STD). People that STD has it out for usually due to their race have said he is evil. I have even set STD up telling him something that he would run to our boss and tell him, just to test him. Our boss loves STD, in my bosses words "STD is such a good guy".

But the boss doesn't have contact with the staff that STD impacts.

I find it so hard to be a *itch to anyone because it just is not in my nature, but I wish I could just be mean

to STD. As soon as I tune him out, my boss comes to me and says Mary you have to keep STD in the loop. I told my boss that I informed STD of some confidential information and 2 minutes later some people knew about it that shouldn't have. So the boss says well don't tell him that stuff. Geeeez what do you want me to do tell STD or not tell STD?

STD is such a detriment to the operations of our department. I wish their was training to deal with this type of person. I have taken the "Dealing with Difficult People" courses. What about training for dealing with the 2 faces, liars and instigators that want to make you and everyone else look bad, leaving them looking like the victim, sorrowful left out underused employee?

Basically STD can't stand it that I am his superior, I'm not his preferred race and I'm female. That just bites him to know end.

I would love to hear if any of you have dealt with this kind of person and what you have done, if anything was successful in changing or eliminating this behavior. Since STD "IS" such a good guy he sure isn't going anywhere so I have to live with this. I sure would love to eliminate or at least call STD on this nuisance behavior.

 

[Hosscrazy]

It's a lot of fun, isn't it?

You know what I found REALLY helpful in this situation? It's a book called "In Sheep's Clothing: Understanding and Dealing with Manipulative People." It's on amazon.com - I HIGHLY recommend it!

Best wishes!

Liz R.

 

[Minxiesmom]

Document! Document! Document! If you are his superior, you are probably in his sites to take down. You need to start protecting your behind, or he will be successful. Write down every interaction you have with him in some sort of diary.

Life if just so short to have to put up with this type of cr*p, just because he is so insecure. I have been there, done that, and lost the job because of someone just like that.

 

[Mominis]

Boy, do I ever feel for you. I have a "STD" at my workplace too. (Loving that term, btw lol) After years of dealing with him, I still don't have any solution to it. I just put up, try and be nice to him as best I can and go with what a great teacher of mine once told me, "Doing well is the best revenge." Wish I could offer you more help than just identifying with your problem, but I can't. Good luck with the situation.

 

[Miniv]

There's a saying that goes something like this: "Keep close to your friends, and even CLOSER to your enemies."

Keep everything said and done with STD written down and dated....... Keep yourself very sweet with him. The nicer and sugary sweet the better. (It will make him worry!)

 

[AppyLover2]

Unfortunately being a

snake in the grass co-worker, an underminer, manipulator, liar, cheat, instigator

is not grounds for termination or disciplinary action. No matter how disagreeable this STD is, my suggestion is the same as others and that is to be cautious when dealing with him, keep copious records (if and when the time comes you're gonna need them anyway) and keep things professional. Since your boss likes him that makes things even more difficult and frustrating (been there) but doesn't change the fact that you haven't mentioned anything that suggests that corrective action is appropriate. That's my opinion for what it's worth.... I worked in a personnel office for 30 years. Good luck with the STD.

 

[krissy3]

I dont know what STD means other than sexually transmitted disease...and I dont think you mean that. I am a manager in a forign country, our employees come from Slovakia , Bosneia, Check Republic , Poland etc... the culture is quite different in these countries, and it is natural for them to use you to gain some personal thing. They will lie, cheat ,steal, slander another, do whatever it takes to get what they want, be it a day off, or to be the bosses pet for a day or a trip into town because these people dont drive , they rely on men completely. What I have learned from this is as follows:

say only what you have to, in short simple sentances that they can understand without adding their own ideas. Think carefully what you need them to do to achieve their job correctly. never give them personal information about you , or let them see your weakness, they will just use this against you. If they want to talk to you about something , have someone there, and ask them to make it short and simple.

You will become a B++ch...and you wil hate that you have to act this way, but it is for your protection. If you really limit your time with them , and only discuss what is needed to get a job done and NO more, eventually they will have respect for you as a NO nonsence type of person.... sort of the in the same respect people have for men, because men dont get involved, and are very simple and matter of fact without a lot of emotion. Hope this helps

Im me if you want more help or examples, I have seen and delt with some freaky things since I have been here.

good luck

 

[Maxi'sMinis]

STD short for Silver Tongued Devil, everybodies best buddy, this guy spends half the day socializing. He literally has everyone with any status that does not work with him thinking he is such a wonderful friendly guy. The people that really know him see him for what he is. I know he was terminated from a previous job for being busted for cocaine. He will walk on anyone that gets in his way.

I scratched tooth and nail for every promotion I have ever gotten, he road my skirt tails right up with me. It took me college and 15+ years and him nothing and less than 3 yrs to get wear I am in my job.

A couple years ago we hired a young girl that came in at one grade below him. He complained to our boss "if she can come right in and get a grade below me then what am I". Well he did the same thing to me, no college needed. Then our boss comes to me and says Mary do you mind if I give STD the same grade as you, he deserves it so much and I want to do something for him.

Well after fuming on that one over night and the level of responsibilty that I have at this grade and STD does not have, I went to my boss the next day and said, I have had to beg and scrape my way up the ladder and STD walks in here in less than 3 yrs and is going to be given what it has taken me 15+ yrs to get to? I said this is discrimination in the worst way and just for once I would like something given to me that I didn't have to beg for. You are going to give STD the same grade I have based on him whining that someone else is paid at a grade lower than him but you are going to give him the same grade I have when I hold all of the responsibility of our entire division. I told him I want a promotion and I walked out. The boss wanted to give STD a promotion so bad I got my grade too.

At least my boss knows what he has in me, dedication, experience, fairness to all, knowledge and did I say dedication!

I spoke with the boss yesturday and told him about what is going on. He is in agreement with how I want to handle it.

Sure will be buying the book recommended by Hosscrazy "Sheeps Clothing" sounds like exactly what I was looking for. I do apprieciate everyones insight and you sharing your experiences. It has helped me greatly in figuring out what course of action to take. Thank God I do have a great boss too.