Can I vent just a little here?

[sparkle]

Hello.

I'm not too sure of what incident(s) you are referring to....

but this is what popped in my head...

as Marty and others have said, text can be taken many different ways...without the tone of voice or facial expression...unless it is worded VERY carefully, it can be misinterpreted.

That being said...

is it at all possible that you felt very passionate about something or were so excited you were bursting at the seams...then after posting...you didn't get the response you had hoped for?

I think it is hard when you do feel strongly about something and you don't get the needed or wanted encouraging words. (not just for the forum...for "real life", too)

Perhaps reading something that you weren't expecting hit hard because moments before you were on cloud nine??

Perhaps the post might've seemed insensitive but wasn't necessarily directed AT you...like "oh I see she posted again...I'm gonna pounce". It could've been just a quick comment, didn't matter who started the thread, but something someone felt the need to say.

I also think it could be hard (in some instances) to answer ONLY your posted question. Some people like to share experiences, etc AND if you post often, people get to know you a little bit and remember your previous posts and might feel comfortable enough to throw in their two cents.

I'm hoping that all makes sense and I am NOT trying to be judgemental or downplay your feelings. I'm not sure if you are referring to someone specific or a specific post. I'm just thinking of how I might feel if I posted something only to (for lack of better wording) be shot down.

I talked to you via PM ages ago...not sure if you remember. I think you're a sweet, bright girl with a lot of hopes, dreams and plans.

I am sorry that you feel slighted. If someone was deliberately pointing fingers and being mean, no, that's not okay. I was just questioning the possibility of you being extra sensitive to something.

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Best of luck,

Kimberly

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(and yes, I reread, added/deleted things before posting) lol

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[MiniHoofBeats]

Oh boy oh boy =) You are all so kind in your words and support!!! This sort of took a totally different direction than I had intended though

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I understand what a lot of you are saying, asking if I am a "thin-skinned" person and take what other people think is helpful critisizm, as a personal bash. First let me clear up, I love helpful critisizm!!! If I ask a question, no matter how excited I am at the time, I look forward to everyones opinions and if someone leaves an opinion that I rather would not have read, I still take it with a grain of salt and I ALWAYS keep what they say in mind.

What I have been talking about from the beginning, are members who have known me from day one, watched me post my first mini...watched me sell my first mini...watched me start my appy program...and then watch my program fall apart. I don't want to go into details because a lot of my own choices still deeply hurt. What this post is referring to, is when someone brings up events that happened in my life, in my past, and compare it to what I am doing now. I don't feel that I should be compared to my past...I am growing, and learning with each passing day and I feel everyone deserves new starts. I feel that I deserve a new start.

KayKay, hon, please you never offended me so don't feel bad =)

This whole venting thing is all related to ME and my past, nothing to do with what advice people give me regarding the questions I ask. I do have the occasional member still who will bring up something in my past and compare it to what I am doing now, and THAT is what hurts.

Do you understand now??? Am I saying it right lol...I do know this typing thing leaves out all emotions and is so hard to understand what someone is really trying to say sometimes!

Boy you have all been such help, the hugs and support has been overwhelming so far and it makes me feel a lot better to hear from all of you in such a positive way. Thank you

Oh, and Yaddax3 - I am sorry that you feel the way you do...that last sentance you wrote...but if you read what I am trying to say, it is not peoples opinions or helpful critisizm that hurts my feelings, so I doubt you would ever hurt my feelings posting to one of my topics! I will admit sometimes I do have thin skin, but I have learned like most others here to take it all in, whether good or bad, because at some point it's going to be useful. So, I take note of everything said to me in positive light =)

 

[Reble]

Sometimes we all have to vent, and when someone does all we have to do is LISTEN.

KEEP COMING BACK :bgrin

 

[Ashley]

I will be the first to admit that I have a hard time getting things to come out in writting like they are ment to be. Normally it back fires on me. Hence why I dont post much anymore and it is mostly on the back porch.

If there is one thing I have learned here is to take what other say with a grain of salt. Most on here cant stand me and have voiced there opinions of me several times, and not always so nice. Both in open and pms.

However I know those few people on here that know me in real life. Really KNOW ME. I am totally different in real life, the biggest reason I have no problem get out how I mean it in person.

 

[Cathy_H]

Well it is the nature of the beast ( public forum)....... Been on here many moons & have seen similar situations through the years..................... Sometimes comments are made based on questions, situations that have occurred here before. More than once I have read a post & thought here we go again!

: We tend to let our memories (frustrations sometimes) of past situations control our current comments.......................... Those of us that truly care for the welfare of these animals sometimes come across as insensitive, rude, paranoid, weird, demanding or know it alls. Not meant to be insulting but is a heartfelt concern for the animals that God has put in our care.

 

[Cathy_H]

People need to stick to the OP and if they want to answer the question then thats fine, but don't add things on there just to here yourself talk... That is the #1 thing that bugs me about this forum, is people add stuff that was never EVER asked..

................. Actually I think the opposite of this.......... People believe things & make decisions based on what they know & some people have tunnel vision. They see what is in front of them & nothing else. May get insulted at first but later admit that the first thought, decision was not the best.... I personally appreciate added information................. Regarding bloodlines, when we first started out in 1986 I thought if I had horses from this bloodline or that farm we would be set for life... Personal experiences as well as input from other people showed that they also had their culls that someone will buy. I'm sure someone just starting out today may think the same thing until they learn otherwise.

 

[lvponies]

You know when you talk to your friends or family about something, sometimes they will say stuff like remember when this and that happened to me? Or remember when you went through thus and so? Part of being friends with people is having history with them. Friends don't bring up the past to hurt your feelings, they do it to help and maybe instruct. You can't expect your friends to have blinders on about the past. It's the same here. We all post about this or that and maybe something what happened previously has merit now and is brought up again. Friends care about each other. Maybe I went through something you are going through now and maybe my experiences will help. Or maybe knowledge of your past history needs to be brought up to help you with a current situation. This isn't blasting you or trying to hurt your feelings, it's trying to be a friend and be there for you. Everyone has opinions. Maybe mine isn't the same as yours. That's OK!! That's what is fun about being on a forum with a bunch of great people. You get all kinds of opinions. It's then up to you to weed through them and make your own educated decisions. I really don't think anyone was intentionally trying to hurt your feelings. Just trying to help.

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[NMMack]

What I have been talking about from the beginning, are members who have known me from day one, watched me post my first mini...watched me sell my first mini...watched me start my appy program...and then watch my program fall apart. I don't want to go into details because a lot of my own choices still deeply hurt. What this post is referring to, is when someone brings up events that happened in my life, in my past, and compare it to what I am doing now. I don't feel that I should be compared to my past...I am growing, and learning with each passing day and I feel everyone deserves new starts. I feel that I deserve a new start.

This whole venting thing is all related to ME and my past, nothing to do with what advice people give me regarding the questions I ask. I do have the occasional member still who will bring up something in my past and compare it to what I am doing now, and THAT is what hurts.

You joined about the same time I did Steph, and I shared in your excitement when you bought your first horse, then another, and then sold them shortly thereafter to start buying young Appaloosa horses, with the intent of starting a breeding program. You were SO excited! :bgrin Shortly thereafter, you sold all of those horses for personal reasons, and now you are buying a tiny pinto stallion.

I have never said a word about this, or posted about it, it is not my norm to butt in or tell people how to run their lives, but I do see how others might be concerned that you jump around alot, and don't think how this can affect the horses long term. I know you take excellent care of your horses, and give lots and lots of love, and you try hard to find great homes for the horses you are selling, but with each time these horses are sold and moved around, can cause great stress to the horse, and turn them into "yo-yo" horses.

I am not trying to bash you, or hurt your feelings, far from it! I am terribly thin skinned myself, and try never to say anything that might be construed in a negative manner. But I do see how our past affects our present, and I see how your past patterns may be a concern for some folks. I don't think that they are trying to hurt you, as much as protect the horses, and help you to understand your own patterns. I think you have alot of enthusiasm and want to learn, just take your time deciding what you want, and what you can handle right now in your life!

:

Nancy

 

[kaykay]

Nancy thank you for saying so well what I was trying to say

:aktion033:

 

[Sonya]

You joined about the same time I did Steph, and I shared in your excitement when you bought your first horse, then another, and then sold them shortly thereafter to start buying young Appaloosa horses, with the intent of starting a breeding program. You were SO excited! Shortly thereafter, you sold all of those horses for personal reasons, and now you are buying a tiny pinto stallion.
I have never said a word about this, or posted about it, it is not my norm to butt in or tell people how to run their lives, but I do see how others might be concerned that you jump around alot, and don't think how this can affect the horses long term. I know you take excellent care of your horses, and give lots and lots of love, and you try hard to find great homes for the horses you are selling, but with each time these horses are sold and moved around, can cause great stress to the horse, and turn them into "yo-yo" horses

I don't see how anyone should judge her on this...I see all the time others selling/buying for reasons like...improving their breeding program, their goals changing, etc...it really makes no difference as to why their selling/buying, they just are...just like she did. I think everyone buys horses thinking they will have them long term, but things happen. I bought all mine with the intent that I would have them forever, but for personal reasons, I too have sold them all. I would hope no one would judge me on that. Who knows maybe someday I will have minis again and if I do, I hope that no one would say...she had horses and sold them all and look now she's buying more.

 

[mountain_waif]

:no: Here is a prime example of what she is talking about. Maybe the only way is to retire our screen names and come on as newbys when we want an answer without past posts being brought up. :no:

 

[MiniHoofBeats]

Well, I was trying to avoid mentioning my past for particular reasons, but I do see that was not said as a personal bash so it does not upset me =)

But yes, that is a prime example of what I am talking about...why lay out the entire last year of my life for everyone else to read, and to judge? That is my past...that is THE past...people change and opportunities arise and that is exactly where I am right now.

Sonya brought up an excellent point, people on here buy and sell horses all the time for program improvement, or for personal reasons, and I don't see them getting judged or people telling them they are concerned for their horses...Nancy brought up the great point that I did sell my first horses "for program improvement" in this case to start an appy program, and I was almost there when personal issues pressed for me to find them good homes. Now, a great opportunity has presented itself for me to bring back the one thing that I love and I am going to take advantage of that!

I thank everyone for their helpful critisism, and even more for those who support me...I still say Sonya brought up a great example with herself and I do hope in her case if she does get back into mini's (I am sure you will!) that she does not go through the same thing I repeatedly go through here...but because I do like so many of you, I am not willing to leave lol!!!