i have been trying to find time to post a reply in this thread but i am so swamped right now. i can't take the time to read everything but i just wanted to say that you are in my thoughts and prayers. i know all too well what dealing with this beastly disease is all about.
stay strong, have faith, surround yourself with family if you can, keep POSITIVE thoughts...a positive attitude goes a very long way in fighting the ravages of cancer. radiation and chemo are no picnic but you CAN get through it! don't be afraid to wail, cry, scream if you have to but do lean on others to help you through it. don't be afraid, also, to question your doctors at every turn. if there is ANYTHING you have doubts about, raise them immediately and persist until you get answers you can understand. understanding your treatments will help you deal with side effects and will ease your mind.
God bless you, my hope is that you come through it all with flying colors! stay strong and i can tell you from personal experience, the forum family here is a Godsend!!!!!
charlene