Did your ex buy your child a car?

[Marty]

I want to add something to the conversation if I may.

Michael got his license and car first being the oldest. We just didn't go out buying boys cars because we felt like it. The cars were bought out of necessity, not just because they wanted cars. These cars were for transportation back and forth to school which was in another county because no school buses would transport them. I had been bringing them to school driving 100 miles a day total, 25 going in the am to drop them off, 25 back home for me in the am, 25 in the pm to pick them up and 25 to bring us all to home. This went on for years but then I had a mini stroke and a heart problem and could not drive for a while. So Michael drove himself and Dan every day when we got him his car. It is a Ford Escort, a little gas saver too vs my Ford truck, the gas sucker. So do understand that in our situation, it was a matter of time and finances and necessity. And by the way Michael was a very appreciative and responsible boy and modest and didn't even want to accept the car from us and did want to work it off to pay us back for it. He didn't have a dime to his name, but that is the kind of boy Michael was. Buying a car for him didn't make him any less of a beautiful person. My only regret now was that we couldn't afford to buy him a nice fancy new car that he deserved.

Dan as you know had a very bad time in grief recovery. But he is doing so good and has held down a job, a hard job for over a year now with long hours, never missed a day since he started, bought his own truck, pays for his own insurance and tags and clothes and frills. I'd say my kids know about responsiblity.

 

[Laura]

Ok well since this thread has taken a bit of a turn, I'm going to come back and speak my mind.

My boys have worked every summer since I can remember and have hauled in all sorts of cars. Junks. One piece of crap after another. That was the only thing they could afford so they would put their blood sweat and tears into these vehicles in hopes that they would get them running perfectly. But for everything they fixed, ten more things would break down. I actually liked that this was teaching them from very young ages to be responsible that if they worked, working equals pay, pay equals vehicles and other rewards. And you also get what you pay for. I also liked that they were at the garage working on them where I knew where they were and not out doing drugs and drinking. But I never wanted to see them drive these pices of junk out on the road so I used to hide a smile of relief every time they failed to get them roadworthy.

In the real world, just how much money do you think a kid in school can possibly make doing a part time job? Both my boys were 18 and in their senior year makeing less than $50. after taxes after school. Their job was to study and graduate. Keeping a part time job during the week was not working for either of them because that made their grades slip badly and we didn't need anymore of that. So yes, the HUS bought them each a decent car in decent running condition and paid to tag and insure them. . I feel it is very important for my kids to have a good solid running vehicle to drive that won't break down and cause them to wreck and risk getting themselves killed if just because they couldn't come up with the money to buy a safe car and got stuck driving junk. If I had to do it all over again, you can be darn sure I would buy them safe cars again and not think another thing about it. I think if the girl is still in high school, the car should be purchased for her.

Dan is no longer in school and he is now in charge of paying for his truck that he bought, and all the insurance, tags, and gas that goes with it. That's because he is working and no longer a student. But if it breaks down and he needs help getting it fixed, of course we are going to help him.

Marty,

In my junior and senior years of HS I was in a school work program. As a junior I went to school from 8-1, then worked from 1:30 to about 7:30 M-F and 9-4 on Saturdays. My senior year I went to school 8-12 and worked that extra hour. It was a full time job. I did it to support my car and my horse (who was boarded at $250/mo...in the late 80's!)

Was it hard, yes, but I knew how to work, how to manage my money and I gained incredible self confidence and was actually ready to go to school away from home after that. Now, academic requirements are tougher, but there's no reason a student can't work 2-3 days a week for a few hours and on the weekends. It leaves less play time, but these days is that a bad thing?

edited to add-Marty, I think you are an amazing mom and raised two incredible young men

 

[mydaddysjag]

I beleive that NO child support should not cover purchasing the child a vehicle. And thats coming from a 20 year old girl. Granite I have had a job since I was 16, I have purchased my own horses, my own supplies, paid my own board and horse bills, paid for any training that they have had, and purchased my own car and pay for its upkeep.

I lived with my mom growing up, and she is not wealthy. The child support she got was to pay for my food and clothing, medication when needed, and my basic living necessities.

I still have my first car. I purchased it off of my older sister for $800 when she decided she wanted a fancy new car. I didn't get a "steal" on it, this is what she was advertising it to the public for as well. While it only had about 85,000 miles when I got it, it does have some dents from when she war rear ended, I had too replace the brake lines, gas lines, battery, and have my turn signal switch rewired. Color wise? My car is about as ugly as can get. Its "seafoam" green, peeling on the hood and roof, with a white bumper. Now, my car is ugly, however it runs well and minor things have went wrong since I have had it, but with a 16 year old car of course you will have to replace things now and then. I can tell you that I appreciate my car much more since I have paid for everything with it, including plates and insurance and such. If my mom had the money to buy me a car and pay for everything Im sure she would have helped me out, but she dosent just have money lying around to buy me a car, she and my step dad have car payments of their own.

On the contrary, in highschool a girl I knew rolled three cars her senior year because her parents paid for every single one. She always seemed to get brand new cars, a mercury cougar, a toyota celica, and a mitsubisi eclipse.

Maybe she would have taken better care of her cars if she had to work to have them?

 

[Reble]

I agree child support is for everyday expenses.

Oh my, brings back memories, two of my girls that turned 16 got a used veichle. It was in my name and yes, we paid for the insurance and had them do drivers ed. They put the gas in the car when they needed to use it. Also had them take an educational drivers course. Our insurace also was lowered for taking this program.

If they stayed in school and recieved their grade 12 education, the car was theirs to do what they wanted.

They both used the car to trade for their own car... It worked for us. and yes, at 16 years old my mom bought me a 1967 Red mustang. Memories are wonderful.

Now my oldest daughter and step son dropped out of school early and no grade 12 &

NO car for them.

You have to decide what is best for your child and how responsible they are.