Dilemma and what to do....

[Shari]

HI All,

Am going to use everyone as a sounding board.... here it goes..

Talked to a seller about an well trained Icelandic mare Fluga.

She sounds very nice.. She Well trained, really smooth tolting horse, which is what I have been looking for for years. Would be much easier on my body.

Because I need smooth & Well trained.

Now I need to decide which is a hard thing to do.

However I do not want to have more horses than I have here already.

This is not an easy thing to think of doing,, and no one could of planned on it.

But I am thinking of selling Dustenai. She is a wonderful Fjord mare, such a sweet heart and well trained.. and such a love.

But.. when I ride her over a 1/2 hour she makes my back hurt a lot. She has this beautiful rolling walk... but it has too much roll for my back. Not something I could tell in a flat arena when I tried her out. There is not a flat spot on my farm. Sigh ~~ I have been fighting with myself on what to do. I need a horse to ride....

Do I go ahead and let the person I bought her from that wants to be first to know if I need to sell her... know that Dustenai isn't going to work out because of her gaits?

I feel really guilty about that.. however,, she makes me hurt when I ride her. Don't really just want to keep a pasture pet and it would not be fair to have such a nice horse not ridden. Sigh ~ ~ I want to be able to ride a smooth well trained horse.

She is super well trained but not smooth in the way I need it.

Dyfra is very smooth and I can go riding for 1 1/2 hours on her with no pain at all.

But she can be sensitive at times. She would be the much harder of the two to sell because she needs just the right owner. She is not a bad mare, but you do need to know what you are doing.

So what do I do... ????

 

[chevycouple]

I was just in a situation where I needed to sell a horse also but I didn't know who to sell. So what I did was advertise both of them and the one I got the offer on first went. Now in your situation about the previous owner...tell her! There is a big possibility that she won't buy her back. Don't feel guilty at all how would you have known. I know I wouldn't have given it a thought between flat ground and rough. Some times your emotions and excitement about a new horse get the best of you. Good luck in your desision

 

[Sanny]

If I were in your position, I would tell the person you bought her from and tell her exactly what you told us. She is a sweetheart, well-trained super horse, but because of her gaits you just can't ride her because it makes your back hurt. There is no reason to feel bad or guilty about this, it happens and no one had any way of knowing. She may or may not buy her back, but you will have done the right thing, the former owner won't find out second hand and wonder what happened or be upset that you sold her when she thought she found a long-term home. She may also know someone else that might be interested in buying her.

You have to look after yourself and your health first.

I did sell a horse a few years ago and just six months later I happened to see him on equine.com for sale. This was not a horse I had long or was that attached too, but I did wonder what happened that he didn't work out. I tried to make sure that the person that bought him would be happy, that she knew his flaws and she rode him several times and came out and visited and groomed him and did some bonding before making the decision to buy him. I wouldn't have bought him back, but I would have appreciated the person giving me the option and just letting me know what happened.

 

[Shari]

Thank you both.. it wasn't something I expected to happen. Sometimes I wish I had future vision! That way I would not make mistakes or errors in judgement.

When I ride Dyfra I do not hurt at all and in fact feel better during and after riding her.

This other Icelandic mare has just kind'a fallen into my lap so to speak. After all these years looking for one with the right temperament and training .....

I figure if it is meant to happen it will.. or not.. we will see.

I have no fear for Dustenai,, she is such a awesome mare...she will find a really nice home. Just wish it could of worked out. Sigh ~

 

[Marty]

OK Shari, I'll jump in on this one.

First off, I think you are jumping the gun.

You have not seen Fluga or tried her. You already have it in your mind that she will work out perfectly when in fact that may not be the case. You will need to ride her for an ample amount of time to see what she does or does not do to your back problems.

As for Dustania, you have already answered that question: she should be sold then if you do not want her for a pet in your field and she hurts your back. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being up front about it with the former owner and being straight up.

Last but not least, I don't see why you are considering selling Dyfra. She sounds like she is perfect for you and always has been and you have no other complaint about her other than she is "sensitive". Do not forget that when buying a new horse you don't really know what you've got until later on. Sometimes it may be better to leave well enough alone.

When I ride Dyfra I do not hurt at all and in fact feel better during and after riding her

You have much thinking to do and much on your plate to sort out. Best wishes for a successful decision.

 

[Shari]

Oh Marty,.. was just thinking. Dyfra's temperament is such I really couldn't go out on trail rides with her....she is scared of everything. She is mostly fine if she knows the place but that can take 6 months or more.

However knowing this.. I doubt she would sell anyway. She is fine for puttering around the property.

I will keep working with her,, and try to get her over most of her phobias.. but training horses as long as I have.... I know she will always be a little silly.

The other Icelandic mare is older and well Trained. The lady that imported her is one of the few I trust in the Icelandic business. She know what she is doing with the horses and is honest about their training and temperament. She also has a suitablity guarantee.

Have been thinking about this for quite awhile.. so not really jumping the gun so to speak.

I would like to have a horse that will not hurt my back... and have the quiet temperament and training I need "And" able to handle new things or to be able to go out on a trail ride without freaking. I know those kind of horses are out there!

Those are hard to find in Icelandics. The only reason this mare is even for sale is due to a nasty divorce.

I do understand that she might not work out either but have a gut feeling she will.. and I don't get those often.

So right now.. everything is on the wait and see list. If it happens it happens.. if not.. well....then it wasn't meant to be.

You are right Marty it is a very hard choice....

 

[susanne]

Oh, how I wish...

 

[Shari]

Well Susanne.. we can do payments you know!

You do need to come and ride her sometime anyway...if it ever stops raining that is!

If it keeps this up the horses are going to need water wings.

Still deciding on what to do. Hubby likes her a lot as she is so sweet,,but he doesn't ride.

DS... well.. I would have to give him more lessons..though he is not that interested either.

She is trained to cart... I do not have my cart paths made on the property.

Unless someone knows someone with a tractor or grader??? Would pay Gas of course and feed a really big meal!!

She would be fine on this country road, so I have been told.. once they finish clearing out the logs down near the end of the road and the logging trucks are no longer speeding down it.

Only problem's, because of the car accident.. is I am kind'a scared to be around cars when walking or on my horses. Am trying to deal with it a little at a time.

Then I would have to look into a cart for her..... oh...

Would be cheaper than buying another Icelandic.

Dyfra is fine I guess, just so long as I am careful to what she is exposed too. Am using her as a physical therapy horse and she is really helping in that department. But it sure would be fun to be able to go with other friends riding in groups or at the beach. Something in which she can't really handle. Sigh ~ ~ So I don't get to go,, and just have friends tell me how much fun it was.

Missed the Wine country ride in Sept... was told how great it was.

 

[Marty]

Oh Marty,.. was just thinking. Dyfra's temperament is such I really couldn't go out on trail rides with her....she is scared of everything. She is mostly fine if she knows the place but that can take 6 months or more.

Oh, so that's what you meant by "sensitive".......yup, got one of those that's 22 and still freaks over a leaf blowing in the wind.

Well that is so not fun and one reason why I don't do trails. Good solid trail horses are so hard to find.

I think you are going to go with your gut feelings. Sometimes you have to listen to your instints too.

 

[Shari]

But,, but.. Marty.. I was hoping she would calm down with age!!

To be honest though.. hubby rather see me sell Dyfra. He has seen her a.. interesting character. Don't get me wrong she is not a bad mare.. but just not a good one for a gimp that wants to go on trail rides. And normally healthy soul that can ride well, would have no problems with her. But because of the way she is.. I doubt I could sell her. Sigh ~ ~

She has been doing fine in the 10 acre pasture so far... doing lateral Flexion when I know she is worried. That does seem to help. I will just ride her where she feels safe.

 

[susanne]

Shari, I'd love to come and ride when the rain lets up -- besides, we need to visit again...it's already been too long.

 

[runamuk]

Well hmmmm.....isn't this just the way it works......this will sound totally looney but have you ever TOLD Dyfra what bothers you?...I know nutty as a jaybird....I don't know there is something about the way you speak of her that I get this gut feeling you two have a bond...and just maybe ....you need to let her take the lead.......not saying do something that lands you both in the hospital......but sometimes we don't let our horses/dogs/ etc...show us that they can because we are locked in fears/issues/etc...that they have had?

that came out like MUD....

 

[rabbitsfizz]

Not nutty at all....Shari, go and tell Dyfra what is upsetting you!! When she does it TELL her it is upsetting you. I did this with a dog at my Dog School this last Wednesday. His owners thought I was NUTS- until he stopped putting his paw on me!! Then, when I pointed it out to him when he put his paw on his owner (This is in a normal voice, not telling him off) he stopped doing it to her, after hurling himself to the floor and apologising (He's a lovely dog). The other thing, of course, is that a more "active" rider just might sort Dyfra out in two seconds- I am sure you could have done it when fit and well, I know I could as that is how I used to make some money- that and training kids ponies. It boils down to the same thing though- I used to get on them and tell them with body language, firm riding and voice what they were doing wrong. Now I can no longer do that(or ride at all- I envy you) I use my voice and my body language and something that I really do believe is inside us all, to communicate the same things. Give it a try- she may not have realised how much she is upsetting you- she may even be wondering why you are not taking her out on the trails and to the beach!!!

 

[Jill]

I would let the people you bought Dustenai from know. They may want to buy her back, or they may know someone she would be perfect for.

Don't feel guilty, just make sure as much as you can (for your own emotions) that the next one is the most comfortable horse for you.

None of us are getting any younger and it does not make sense to ride a horse that is harming your body.

I don't have back problems, but if after Sky and Rocket are no more and I still want a riding horse or two, H and I have already decided that we'll get TWH. The older I get, the more I feel there's no reason to make things harder than they have to be and I love riding TWH's.

 

[Shari]

I tell Dyfra what she does bothers me, and that it can end up hurting someone if she is not careful. That there is no reason to be scared. Doesn't help that much. Is like her thinking brain clicks off and she isn't there. Unfortunately her mother did this too... so in part it is genetics. She hasn't done any thing dangerous yet.. but if the wrong person tried riding or handling her it could be a problem. If one knows what they are really doing with horses the handler would be fine.

She has impressed me with my son,, she doesn't listen to him or even respect him all that much...however something that normally sets her off.. if he is around.. so far she has kept herself under control on the ground when he is near.

We do have somewhat of a connection...

Have tried letting her work it out on her own.. but she just gets herself so worked up she will not calm down for hours. Yes,, I really said hours. Most horses get up set and get over it. She doesn't.

I use Parelli, Reis,TTeam and all that to get her to calmed down on the ground. In the Saddle Lateral Flexion works best to get her to pay attention to me. But I found I need to get her focused back on me quickly as possible.

I am very firm but fair with Dyfra.. if you are not that kind of person she will not listen to you at all. I am more stubborn than any horse on the planet!!

I haven't sent that letter to the seller of Dustenai yet. Now Dustenai will not have a problem finding a good home. She is quite the Celebrity in the Fjord horse world.