Dilemma...need some advise

[LindaL]

When I moved to this apt. I signed a 13 month lease, because I had no intention for moving for at least that long (after having moved 6 times since 2003!). That was in May, so my lease isn't up until June. I like my apt. OK...kind of small, but hey, its only me and my little dog. It has amenities like a pool, hot tub and a fitness center (altho, as of now, the only thing Ive used is the hot tub a few times). I pay $599/mo for a 1 bedroom and the only thing included is garbage service. I pay for water, electricity, cable, internet and land line phone, which averages about $200-225 mo.

I live about 2 miles from my parents. They own their house and my grandmother's little 2 bedroom cottage on their property. The cottage has the 2 average sized bedrooms, 1 big bathroom, a huge kitchen/dining area, a small (teeny) living room and a huge enclosed "garage" (used as a laundry room/storage area). Its a cute little house. They are renting it for $600/mo (for me, that is) and it would include electricity, water, garbage...and possibly satelite TV, since my parents have that and it was wired out to my grandma's house. So, I would still need to pay for internet, but not a land line phone, since I dont really need it.

My mom asked me if I wanted to rent it from them. Two years ago, she asked me and I was going to, but let my mom know that I wouldnt be changing anything about my life/lifestyle (I was single at the time, too, so I didnt know what would happen as far as dating, etc). My parents accept my being a lesbian; they just dont want it "in their face", which I have always respected. My mom is much more OK with it than my dad, but they are both around, since my dad is retired. At the time when I told my mom that, she decided to rent it out to someone else (which was fine). This time, she knows I am dating Trudi and I am pretty sure she knows that she spends the night sometimes, since one evening when i was visiting my mom, she asked me if Trudi was coming over that night. My mom still asked me, so I am guessing she is "OK" with this.

OK, so dilemma...do I break my lease (I think I would owe 1 month's rent if I did that or I could find someone to take over my lease and lose my deposit), save some money each month (which would help me out A LOT!), knowing that there may be some "conflict" if my parents are too "close", since I dont want them to always be "bothering" me for this and that (they will). OR...do I stay put where I am totally without my parents' interference, but struggle financially every month. If money were not an issue, it would be a no brainer...I would stay here.

Trudi thinks I should move, so obviously she isnt concerned about my parents being too close...LOL

Your thoughts please....

 

[hahler]

your parents have already accepted you and trudi that is the way my folks acted lol

they cared for my "friend" and the kids

i would save money and go for it

dawn

 

[shortymisty]

People break leases every day. In the long run how much money would you save? And you need to really think hard about whether it would bother you living so close to your parents. Thinking they may be in your business more than usual. You might be surprised that they don't or if they do, how is that going to affect your relationship with Trudi. I'm sure you've thought about it. I'd say go for it but weigh the pros and cons and it really sounds like the pros have it and if Trudi doesn't have a problem, start fixing up your little house woooo hoooo

 

[wade3504]

My parents house is about 20 feet right outside my kitchen door and I plan on staying as long as they let me. My dad knocks if he comes over which isn't often. My mom just walks in. The cure for that is locking the door. We only have to pay $550 a month and that includes everything, even internet access and satellite tv. Anywhere else we'd pay $900 a month for a one bedroom in the bad parts of town. If you can save money I'd do it.

Amanda

 

[Marty]

I would make the move to save money, but as for the sleepovers, I'd be doing that at Trudi's place so you don't upset your family

 

[Jill]

I know all families are different. I live an hour away from my parents and would JUMP at the chance to live so close to them

I see my dad a lot because we aer business partners and talk to my mom every day (usually 2x) on the phone. I love spending time with them.

So, that part of me thinks you would also benefit from being closer physically to mom and dad (at least in some ways?). And, since you will be paying rent to live there, you should be able to have Trudi over but I'm sure you'd want to be considerate and not have your parents feel you were rubbing their nose in it. (also, what does Trudi think of you maybe moving there?)

I think I'd talk to the landlord and see what my options are. You never know, there may be someone he/she knows of wanting to move in already!

 

[SunQuest]

Linda,

I look at this like this... Why not just come out and ask your mom what their thoughts are in regaurds to what is acceptable behavior if you rent from them. You don't have to go into any great detail, but at least make sure that they are not going to be mad at you because they think you will change based on previous converstations. So jus talk with them so there are no surprises. Yes, this would not be a comfortable situation to talk about, but if your parents know exactly what you are thinking and you know exactly how far your parents will allow things to go, then that would help tremendously in making a desion to break your current lease. And if you can't talk to your parents about this, then I would say you are best to stay right where you are at. After all, now you have the freedom to do as you please in your house. If you can talk to your parents about this, then you can make an informed decision as to what is best for you, Trudi, and your parents.

 

[LindaL]

Thanks you guys. I talked to my mom today about things and we agreed that we both want to respect each others privacy, so that was good. She has also decided to lower my rent to $525, which will include water and garbage, so that helps out some. Soo......next month I am moving...again!! LOL!! (My friends and family joke that they have to write my address in pencil, because I move so often...and some people call my mom at Christmas time to ask my newest address so they can send Xmas cards....LOL)

HOPEFULLY, this will be a long-term deal.... OH!

I am pretty excited now that I have made my decision...I have always loved my grandma's little house!

Edited to add...Talked to the apt. complex rental office and I am going to lose my deposit and owe one months' rent when I move out, since I am breaking my lease. That is OK, since I dont have to start paying rent at my new place until March.

 

[Chpmnk1]

gr8 for you!! I think you will probably be happy with it then. I bought the house & land right across the road from my parents Nov 2006 and I was also slightly worried about maybe "too much interference", but I have always been close to my parents, so after talking to my spouse we went for it.

And I don't regret it a bit & to be honest I almost wonder if I see my parents less now, lol, my mom & I still talk on the phone everyday, but seems like since they know I am so close, they are fine with just checking in by phone & they know I am just right there if something comes up.

So hopefully you will be happy with your decision & I think since you have spoke to mom it seems they will also respect your privacy & private life.

GO FOR IT!! GOOD LUCK!!

 

[Jill]

It sounds like every thing is falling into place very well!!!