I'm so sorry to read about your situation, Anna. Please know you are surrounded by friends who completely understand how you feel and where you're at right now. Most of us have been through something tragically similar. Please know, we can't always fix them. Sometimes the damage is too great, done before we were able to help or make a change. Sometimes the very best anyone can do isn't enough to bring them through. And sometimes our littles choose to be finished too. It's so hard, but it's ok.
Sending you big hugs. Take the time you need. If welcoming another little in your life in the future is the right thing to do, we'll be here to celebrate with you.