Horse-handler "fit"

[SugaryCharm]

I have been weighing the difficult decision to sell one of my mares.

The logical part of me says that it is time to sell her and move on, as I often do not enjoy handling her (personality clash, grumpy/aggressive, stubborn mare) and she has injured me a couple of times now (out of aggression, not fear). She hates my husband and quite frankly I am afraid she will hurt him if/when he has to care for her, because he is very inexperienced with horses.

However, the emotional part of me is having trouble letting her go. I've owned her since she was a weanling and had planned to give her a "forever home" and do lots of fun things with her. She is bred royally and is gorgeous to look at;, but I detest her attitude! We've done blood panels, teeth work, ulcer treatment, etc to rule out possible triggers for her attitude, with no luck. My mom and I have done all her handling/training so I know she has not been abused. Until recently, I thought that maybe it was a phase she would eventually outgrow, but she's 4 this year and seems to be getting worse instead of better.

Have you owned a horse with whom you just didn't "click," even though you wanted to? If you have struggled with a similar decision/situation, I'd love to hear your story and the outcome. Opinions welcome.

 

[disneyhorse]

Yep, definitely have had horses that I didn't click with. Sold them and they went on to have happy, productive lives. No need to stress about it, all relationships are different.

 

[SampleMM]

Absolutely, I've had horses that I didn't click with and made the decision to find a better fit for the horse.

 

[Marsha Cassada]

Absolutely. (Where did that "forever home" thing come from ? What a guilt trip.) I've owned some horses that went on to better homes than mine. They went to a job that suited them better and a handler that knew more than I do. I learned a lot from those horses, and that knowledge helped me with other horses. Look at your mare as a sort of teacher; she's taught you a lot.

 

[wingnut]

Yes I have. I was so excited to bring Lucy and Ethel home! They weren't in a bad situation but their previous (1st owners after breeder) was finding they didn't fit their family after all and just wanted to find them a good home. I was thrilled to have a black and white pair of pintos to add to my sorrels and smokey black (turns out they were smokey black too).

Anyway, they were two when the came here....the same age as the younger two I already had. There was the expected initial difficulties, but my green self thought I had learned enough in the previous 2 years to handle these difficulties. And for the most part, we did pretty good. Unfortunately, there were handful of things that we couldn't get past. Lucy was an exceptional escape artist. It was the third (or 4th) escape of most of my herd of 6, that finally pushed me to start thinking about finding them a better home. I had never really bonded with either of them. Ethel was our largest horse @36" and I honestly was never comfortable handling her and she knew it.

I was lucky to find them a home literally a mile down the road. I followed up on a hunch and it panned out. They are so much happier and settled where they are now and so am I. I do have an explicit agreement with the new owners that I would like "first right of refusal" should they decide to rehome them at a later date. I feel I owe them that.

 

[Shari]

Maggie's only foal, Theia..... couldn't believe that temperament came out of sweet Maggie.Worked with her for years anyway.

Some of you know what I went through with her.

Anyway, I needed to sell her before my move. A family with a young son that was a little slow, came.

Theia loved them! She was very, very gentle with the boy, and would nicker very softly to him.

So while she never liked me, she loves her new family.

 

[Field-of-Dreams]

I won't keep a horse I don't get along with. No sense to it. Why be afraid to walk in my own fields? Plus it takes a LOT of money to properly take care of a horse. Money that could be spent on a horse you like.....

I've sold, traded and even given away horses I didn't get along with.

 

[SugaryCharm]

Thanks to all who responded and/or shared a story...now I feel a bit silly for agonizing over the decision so long!

I think it was a combination of factors that was making it so tough to decide, including but not limited to my "big plans" for the mare, feeling like a "failure" as a handler for not getting along with her, dread of the hassle of listing her for sale and responding to lots of people who don't come through, and she is just so darn nice to look at, HA!

Now I am actually kind of excited to start a new chapter in my horse life.

Marsha and Field-of-Dreams, you both have great points that (A) this mare has taught me a lot, and (B) it takes too much money, time and effort to live with a horse you don't like!!!

Shari, your story is pretty familiar...except my mare's dam was a witchy mare also so I was a little worried from the start, but--denial is a powerful thing--so I have kept plugging on all these years

 

[chandab]

Not a mini, but the second horse I ever owned was an extremely well-trained AQHA gelding; he should have been the perfect horse to learn with while my first horse was getting some training, but he wasn't... We absolutely did not get along; he wasn't mean or anything like that, there just was no chemistry what so ever. We sold him probably a year after buying him; he went on to a very good home. [One the other hand... I had my first horse for 24 years; from when he was barely three til he passed just a few years ago at 27.]

 

[Minimor]

I cannot say that I have ever owned a horse I did not get along with. SE have been more work than others--had a Morgan gelding that was constantly testing, trying to outsmart me and find a way to get out of working, so I had to work harder to stay ahead of him...I now have a pony that is somewhat the same way, he is more work than some of my others, but I get along with him fine and I do love that pony.

I've gotten some great deals on horses because their former owners did not get along with them--those same horses were no problem at all to me. One had a lot of issues and, I found out later, a very bad reputation--but I didn't know about his reputation until after I had him for several years. By then I had worked through his issues--and eliminated the pain the caused those issues--and he never did live up to his reputation.

 

[chandab]

The AQHA gelding is the only one I've not be able to work on the differences with, but at the time, I was too knew to horses to know how to handle it. I have a couple minis now that are more challenging for one reason or another, but we are working it out.