How do I get him to understand

[Candleliteranch]

My 15 yr old gelding Diablo died unexpectedly last week. We had two of our other big horses pastured with him. They were with Diablo when he died. My 4 yr old gelding has been acting odd since it happened. We had to leave Diablo in the pasture until the next morning when a backhoe could come to bury him. The night he passed, we called the other two in the barn to eat and Cruizer started to come in, then turned and ran back to where Diablo was and kept nickering to him. It was like he was telling him to "come on, it's dinner time". He finally gave up and came in to eat. Now that we have him buried, Cruiser is staying by the gravesite an awful lot. He doesn't necessarily seem depressed, just kind of like, waiting......

If we bring the mare in first, he runs screaming along the fenceline, back and forth, up and down, working himself into a panic in just a few minutes. He never acted like this before. We pulled his shoes and trimmed his feet tonight and he was a real booger. He normally stands quietly for this also. After feeding, we put them back out to pasture and he went right to the gravesite.

Cruizer's breaking my heart watching him. He was ponied off of Diablo when he was a baby and they've always been together. The mare, Ember is 30 yrs old and has also been with Diablo for the last 10 years. She was always very dependant on him and she isn't acting like this. I don't know what to do for Cruizer, but I can't stand watching him standing there all the time just waiting. How do I make him understand that Diablo isn't coming back?

 

[Triggy&Blue&Daisy Too]

I think animals need their time to grieve as well. My terrier about wasted away when her life long companion died. I thought she'd make herself die for a time too she was so devasted. The only thing I can suggest is to give him a lot of extra attention and distractions for a time while his broken heart heals.

 

[Marty]

I have been through this and it was bad bad bad just like what Cruiser is doing. He doesn't understand. He just knows Diablo is gone and wants him to come back. It's horrible of course for us to watch this stuff. Tears you heart right out.

You can take a couple of gallons of amonia and sprinkle it on the grave and cover it up with rocks, boulders if you have any. I had to do that just to keep my pony from trying to dig up my horse and yes the grave was deep but still the amonia smell evaporated quickly but lingered just a tad enough and did keep him out of that area for a bit.

I really dont' know what to tell you. Just love him and hold him and try to talk to him I guess is really all you can do is tons of extra attention.

I ended up having to buy a mini (that's what got me started) for my pony to help him get over this because he was about half dead himself after this and wouldn't eat or move for days. When I brought Holly home for him, it gave him a new lease on life.

 

[rabbitsfizz]

BONNIE

 

[ChrystalPaths]

Oh Lisa, he is deep mourning. Talk with him, you know how. If his other pasture mate is 30, you'd better have another companion ready soon. I also rcommend a chat with Bonnie if he continues to be so upset. It has only been a week, you know the pain of losing a beloved family member and it takes longer than a week. Spend time with them at the grave site and talk to them and tell Diablo to let Cruizer know he's ok.

 

[Miniv]

Dimi is right...... You need to sit down, love on him, and have a quiet talk with him.

If his grieving continues for another week, then you might want to call on Bonnie. But if you talk with him and allow him his right to grieve, I believe time will help.

MA

 

[Hosscrazy]

I lost Misty 2 months ago and I think Cody is finally over his grief. (Misty was the mom, Cody is 7 years old son). There are periods where he stares at the spot where Misty's body laid, and just stares - that's when I think there's moment of lingering sadness.

All I can say is that I've spent even more time with him, just sitting with him - talking to him, scratching his sweet spots. He loves stuffed animals and I found a stuffed orangutan that he likes to toss around, so I let him play with that. He's interacting more and more with his sister, and I can see that with time he is getting better.

I'm glad your Diablo has pasture mates - that will help, too. He just needs time to heal -

Best,

Liz R.