I have depression - NOT Rabies!!!!

[Fantasia]

Ok so 2011 was a hard year - and I thought I was through it OK until somebody at work stabbed me in the back which ended in all my files being audited. This sent me over the edge, left work in tears. Went to doctor and have moderate case of depression. Take two weeks off stress leave.

Because I'm an upfront kind of person, I told my flatemate (who owns the place). She hasn't spoken to me since. We're talking nearly two weeks here... I have tried to engage her in conversation and she only answers me in two word sentences. She simply won't acknowledge me.

First I was hurt - now I'm just brassed off. I have stood by this person while she had relationship ups and downs/hormone fluctuations/tenancy court problems - put up with her interferring with my belongings, ruining my books, listened to her whinge about her job (she not interested in listening to me) and running me down on front of people.

So you know what? I think she part of the problem.

My solution - found somewhere else to live Move 1st week March. Does this sound the right thing to do? Can't communicate with her.....

 

[minisch]

Sounds good to me ! People can bring you down. Hope everything at work smooths out. Good luck

 

[Flying minis]

Definately! Especially with depression, you don't need a roomate bringing you down - you need one who is up, which will help your mood too. . . don't forget there are some wonderful depression meds out there. . . speaking as someone who has been medicated since 1998, and wishes I had started a lot sooner : )

 

[Seashells]

Oh my goodness, you are so doing the right thing!

Moving is a chance for a fresh start, new beginnings. and although it helps to share woe's with "friends" be extra careful in future...make sure it's someone you know is totally honest and truely appreciate's your friendship (I'm sorry she didn't support you in that department).

Know this: Sometimes bad things have to happen in order to push to into a fresh new direction, environment. Things happen for a reason, and it always turns out for the best.

Hang in there and know things will be better for you in long run. Focus on your blessings, and all the beauty in this life (people have a way of clouding our eyes)

 

[REO]

YES!!!!!!!! The sooner the better!

Life is too short to put up with that kind of crap. You'll feel SO much happier once you get away from her and negative crap!

 

[jacks'thunder]

Absoultly! This is a great step in the right direction!

 

[Fantasia]

Thanks guys - I have told her I'm outta here and she burbled something about finishing things on a good note. What?

She's the one who snubbed me!!!! Must say I'm feeling better already though!

Anyway - shifting well under way and hopefully i can get outta here sooner than the date I've given her.

No helping some people I guess......

 

[donnalee]

That sounds like a very wise decision. I once read a book, The Confident Woman by Joyce Myer. In it she talks about replacing the negative people in your life with positive people. I, at the time, had a couple of people in my circle of friends who were very negative and I took her advice. Life has been much better. Not that that alone "cures" depression, which is a very insidious disease, but it sure helps.

Another bit of advice I heard on a TV interview that seems silly but really works - put fresh flowers in your house. In winter, when nothing is in bloom buy a bunch at the grocery store. There is something about them that just makes you feel good when you look at them. But, the one thing we all know is so healing is hugging our horses.

 

[Genie]

The book by John Powell, "Why Am I Afraid to Tell You Who I Am?" is something that has helped me understand so many of the happenings in life which can bring me down.

I will leave a few quotes here, but recommend the book as a way to feel better about yourself and understand those people out there that either enjoy causing tension and pain or are not smart enough to know that they are hurting people .

* What you and I really need is a moment of truth and a habit of truth with ourselves. We have to ask

ourselves in the quiet, personal privacy of our own minds and hearts: What games do I play? What is it

that I am trying to hide? What is it that I hope to win?

* The fully human person is an Actor not a Reactor.

* Fully human person is his own person, that he does not bend to every wind which blows, that

he is riot at the mercy of all the pettiness, the meanness, the impatience and anger of others.

Atmospheres do not transform him as much as he transforms them.

* In fully human person, there is a balance of senses, emotions, intellect and will.

* It is certain that a relationship will be only as good as its communication.

If you and I can honestly tell each other who we are, … then and then only can each of grow.

* Human life has its laws, one of which is: We must use things and love people…

not love things and use people.

* Dishonesty always has a way of coming back to haunt and trouble us.

* To reveal myself openly and honestly takes the rawest kind of courage.

* We do not bury our emotions dead; they remain alive in our subconscious minds and intestines, to

hurt and trouble us.

* Anyone who builds a relationship on less than openness and honesty is building on sand.

 

 

 

* Whatever my secrets are, remember when I entrust them to you, they are part of me.

* Your emotions and how you deal with them will probably make you or break you in

the adventure of life.

* "Sorry, this is the way I am… I was like this in the beginning, am now, and ever shall be

…" is a handy motto and delusion to have around you if you don't want to grow up.

 

[Fantasia]

Thanks for those book suggestions and am tracking them down!

Feel whole lot better now decision made and I'm on the move again! Pleased to say she's calmed down now and even apologised, thinks she got told by a few people what a horrid person she was being.

So all calm on the horizon at present which is good for me

 

[HGFarm]

You betcha you made the right decision. Life is too short to be surrounded by negative people and things- and it does cause stress in your life that is unhealthy. Nobody needs that kind of crap in their life. Good for you to see the problem clearly and take action quickly.

And I dont think you need to apologize or suck up to anyone because they are upset and snubbing you. Nothing was your fault. End on a good note? Yeah, right.

 

[Ashley]

While I agree its probably best for you to move, I can also see it from the roomates view. I too have had depression for years, and then adding in child birth a few months ago made it even worse.

Depression is "catchy". The reason I put it this way is, its proven that when people are around/associate with people who are depressed it does tend to take hold of the non depressed person. This might be part of the reason she is acting the way she is.

You didnt state if you are doing anything for the depression? Therapy? Medication? It is very important to stay on top of it and get it taken care of or you will continue to lose friends/family from it. Not to mention yourself.

 

[Fantasia]

Hi Ashley - am under going therapy and on meds.

Ironic thing is now she's gone crying to the neighbour that SHE'S depressed!!!! And I don't think she caught it from me......

 

[Ashley]

Thats a bit weird. By her actions I would say she has always been, but we as humans never tend to see our own issues. I will say from my own personal experiance it takes a strong person to not fall into anothers depression. They have to be able to see it and realize it isnt about them, and know ways to keep themselves healthy. It is possible, there are depressed people all over, and many of those are in relationships. That said, she probably didnt "catch" it from you. I wish you the best in finding a new place where you can be happy and healthy.