I"ve about had it with this place

[justaboutgeese]

There are many people on this forum who have been here for a long period of time and offer valuable insight and expertise in their posts. Spotted Pony Girl is one such person. So until these relative newcomers have proven the worth of their opinions I think that any negative or derogatory comments to or about long standing forum members should stay their own seedy little minds. We all enjoy a spirited discussion but personal attacks and snide innuendos remove the enjoyment from the forum. I do think that when it comes to Spotted Pony Girl a couple of people should forward a PM with an apoligy to her. My not so humble opinion Vic

 

[MeadowRidge Farm]

I really dont think this is the ONLY post that alot of us..LORD FORBID--old forum members have been biting our tongues on, and some of us didnt. Its also some posts, which unless a person knows or lives close to the poster..will know the truth, where once on this forum they can come along with any story to suit the attention needs and hide behind the truth, but fabriciate a good post for on here. I have seen this happen over and over and and have personally taked to others who also know this is going on. Then the members come on and post a favorable response and TADAA--they got the attention of someone and so continue. That is a sad situation also, because the forum members are believing what is being posted but the truth is far from that! I have also noticed a particular younger poster, and fairly new, who no matter what is posted comes back with a answer for everything, with alot of the post being very negative towards members, (maybe this person ought to try running for President since they seems to know it all!) Those post I will avoid. ML has done such a great job with this board, its a shame some have ruined the fun and knowledge we use to be able to share without all the bickering going on. Jane, I agree with you 100% say it the way it is..if they dont like it, dont ask! Now go ahead and flame away.

 

[Cathy_H]

Im sorry but they will just end up driving everyone else away too..

.............. I've been on this forum for many years & I have read the above statement several times on this forum..... The forum has only gotten bigger with more posters & lurkers.......... We old timers here have seen Mary Lou overcome several obstacles which she only used as stepping stones for improvement. People come & people go, that's their choice but the forum will survive as long as Mary Lou desires it to.

 

[js1arab]

Well, I will not continue to post on this particular topic after this reply as even this turned into a whose better than who ordeal, but I did want to say a few last comments. First off, age, experience etc, none of those were called into question. I don't care how young, old, experienced or not -in my opinion rudeness is always rudeness no matter who it's from. Secondly, I don't recall ANYONE saying that it was ok what happened to the horse in any of the cases of a bad situation. What most people said was they hated it had happened and felt sorry for the horse, but understood that unfortunately mistakes are made and please try to learn from them. Even though my orginal post mentioned a recent occurance, it was not the only post I was referring to so I wish we could move beyond this being about comments made to one individual. Spotted Pony Girl- without going back and rereading all the posts, I am not sure if you were one I was saying I felt was rude or not, but if you felt you saw something of yourself in my comments and are a big enough person to say so and to state yourself in a much friendlier manner then I applaude you. Obviously you are mature enough (and age has nothing to do with maturity ) to see things objectively. Everyone has a right to an opinon and I respect that as I disagree with many common beliefs about feeding etc that are used especially in the show horse world, but I do not feel the need to attack people and tell them I feel they are hurting their horses...why, would it change their thinking if I am rude to them...of course not. If anything, many people including myself, tend to hold tighter to what they are doing just to be bull headed when people outright attack them. Again, I always feel badly when animals are hurt, but even with children who are perfectly capable of telling us what is wrong, parents make mistakes. For those who continue to feel they are completely justified in their attacks, I stand by my original comment and say that God forbid anything bad should ever happen in your life (and it will eventually) no one goes through life without adversity. If you are lucky, negative events in your life will never affect your animals or your children, but maybe they will give you insight to what others have experienced. Thanks again Mary Lou for this great place to express ourselves and to look for guidance.

 

[mininik]

"For those who continue to feel they are completely justified in their attacks, I stand by my original comment and say that God forbid anything bad should ever happen in your life (and it will eventually) no one goes through life without adversity. If you are lucky, negative events in your life will never affect your animals or your children, but maybe they will give you insight to what others have experienced." -js1arab

I am one that feels I am justified in my previous comments and bad things have happened in my life already but as I've said before, what happened there was not a "mistake." Like anyone, I know I am far from perfect but if I ever make a "mistake" like that I hope the animals in my care are taken away because I could not live with them or myself afterwards! There, I think I've repeated myself at least twice now on everything but it always seems to come back around to replies that assume nothing bad has ever happened to the "perfect" posters who cared more about the horse than the sympathy-seeking, sad and twisted story of the poster. I guess from here on out I should take this forum with a shot of penicillin!

:

 

[yankee_minis]

For the people that would say such rude things to someone's face: you would not be in my life nor my children's lives. You would be avoided and ignored.

If you think you're so "mature" because you say such things, I say, grow up.

Just because people like me (and others on this forum) use tact and compassion doesn't make us weak. It makes us wonderful parents of well adjusted kids and outstanding children to our aging parents. It makes us awesome care-givers: nurses, teachers, baby sitters.

We're the friend you go to when your father dies and your spouse doesn't understand why you are still "moping" around. Or when your kid makes a mistake and you're embarrassed to tell anyone else that they've got to go to court.

The point js1arab was making was that you people were mean. Just plain mean.

I suppose there's a place for mean people in this world. It's just not going to be anywhere near me or the people I love.

p.s. Did I spell everything correctly? Gee, I hope so. I wouldn't want to be considered ignorant-- or worse, not worthy of compassion on this board.

 

[justanothercowgirl]

Just because people like me (and others on this forum) use tact and compassion doesn't make us weak.

Tact and compassion are two of the most wonderful words in the english language. People tend to hear your words more clearly when you speak using them.

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

Most people on here (including me) only look flawless because we've hidden our mistakes, afraid to mention them lest the Pony Police flame us and toss us out on our scorched ears.

: The privilege of the internet, you know. To become whatever you want to be instead of who you are. Those who admit to mistakes are being brave enough to be vulnerable- it would become you to be brave enough to show compassion instead of a teenage pack mentality.

Leia

Ok now.. I have stayed out of this one to but truer words were never spoken. :aktion033:

 

[Ashley]

Alot of stuff on here I take with a grain of salt and as you know you can not tell by a persons typeing how they really are. I am takeing alot differently on here then how I am in real life. Yes I have a tell it like it is, blunt person for the most part on here as well as in life.

I do however have a very big heart but that dont come across on here.

I dont think, because a person can spell or because a person makes mistakes it makes them any less of a person. Personally I say at work everyday almost constantly I am only humen, I do error. Where in a world there we are expected to never screw up, well in this life it just dont happen.

My opinion, from one who knows she can NOT spell.

 

[minimule]

No, no one is perfect. But what I personally find a little odd is that people on here pick and choose who they want to tear apart or feel sorry for. I have stayed away from a lot of posts of some folks because I SEE what is there, not what is being said. Yet they get the "oh I'm so sorry this happened, let me kiss it and make it better" when the same people giving comfort to that one would tear another person apart for doing the same thing.

I could list countless episodes but will not. It isn't worth it. There are folks on here that only post when they feel the need for attention. The problem with these forums/computers/etc... is anyone can (and does) say anything they want about who/how they are and no one will be the wiser.

Like Ashley said.....I take everything with a grain of salt.

 

[MInx]

Oh for Pete's sake, knock it off. :no: You guys are getting nasty and gosh forbid you should ever find the shoe on the other foot. Geez.

And you all KNOW I usually keep my mouth shut on this stuff! But seriously. To take a post about how people are being nasty and prove them right so thoroughly...wow. I'm not talking about the halter issue particularly. I'm talking about a complete lack of tact and discretion in how you choose to phrase things. Would you say this stuff to someone's face? You might, but you'd only be proving who the jerk is. Feel free, fire away. :new_2gunsfiring_v1: I'm going to stand up for good manners and pride. I have some, and I refuse to see this forum lowered to the level of petty sniping without pointing out that the only one you're lowering my opinion of is yourself. :nono:

Most people on here (including me) only look flawless because we've hidden our mistakes, afraid to mention them lest the Pony Police flame us and toss us out on our scorched ears.

: The privilege of the internet, you know. To become whatever you want to be instead of who you are. Those who admit to mistakes are being brave enough to be vulnerable- it would become you to be brave enough to show compassion instead of a teenage pack mentality.

That's not touchy-feely-don't-tell-them-they're-wrong. That's being an adult.

Leia

THAT is so well said I just had to jump in here and say that as an old opinionated grouchy person, who has of late made a fool of my self too and had to apologize for it, I whole heartdly agree! Vertualy none of us would have the guts to say this stuff to people in person! Sort of like saying it in person VS the phone..so lets get back to being well spoken constructive adults. It's ok to be mad, heck I get off the wall angry sometimes..but I for one want to have something productive come out of our posts replies from now on.How bout it? I will if you will. :bgrin Maxine

 

[CMR]

My last post regarded a post by capall beag that she/he(not sure) has now deleted. She/he just said that she/he was not going to let a know-it-all 16 year old ruffle his/her feathers. I found it humorous, so I replied to it. Regarding the whole halter situtation, when I first read the post by Amanda, I thought it was a horrible situation, but I thought it was a kid younger than myself(say twelve or eleven?), so I was just going to close the post and forget about it(because of the fact that I am a new member and no matter what I responded with would really just be ignored anyway). I started to read some of the replies, and then looked on her profile and saw that she was an adult. She then said that she thought everyone was entitled to mistakes after someone told her it was extremely preventable and some would consider neglect. Sure, everyone is entitled to mistakes, but not huge ones that would not have happened with at least some knowledge. Those coddling her added more fuel to my fire. I think rabbit said something on another post(or this one, they've both become very similar) that if you can't handle the truth, don't post something like that. If you do post something like that, just say that you are in fact feeling sorry for yourself and don't really care to hear the truth, you just want to be coddled. Amandas post sounded to me as though she wanted everyone to tell her that it wasn't her fault, and to help her work out some way that she could keep her mini. I just couldn't do that, so sorry for those of you that took it to heart. I don't even think she got to read my post, seeing as how it was deleted, so it didn't cause any harm to her. I got in enough "debating" last night, I quit.

 

[Scoopiedoo]

AMEN Vic, Marty, and Hobbyhorse!!! The only thing that I have to say about the nasty, derogatory tone that this post has taken is something my mother (Backwoodsnanny) taught me from the time I was little...and I'm not little anymore, and that would be that it is always better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to "speak" (or type) and remove all doubt. I guess there really are some very mean spirited people out there. SAD

Jodi

 

[mrgizzmoe]

from my experience on here everyone is nice. freedom of speech is a sweet thing. we can say what we like no matter how rude it is . but rude to one person may not be rude to another...

James

 

[slaneyrose]

THAT is so well said I just had to jump in here and say that as an old opinionated grouchy person, who has of late made a fool of my self too and had to apologize for it, I whole heartdly agree! Vertualy none of us would have the guts to say this stuff to people in person! Sort of like saying it in person VS the phone..so lets get back to being well spoken constructive adults. It's ok to be mad, heck I get off the wall angry sometimes..but I for one want to have something productive come out of our posts replies from now on.How bout it? I will if you will. Maxine

Maxine...I found your comments very humbling as I too feel I have been a little defensive and ruffled some feathers here. It IS too easy to say things the wrong way when we are just looking at the words and I for one will try and visualise speaking to A PERSON in my future posts and not be so quick to react, and I apologise if I offended anyone.

I think this young woman WAS brave to tell us what she did....I think most of us HAVE made some real whoppers of mistakes at some point....in our lives caring for our animals, and probably will make some in the future, its good this was put on here as a reminder/warning as with other examples by people prepared to take the flack.

 

[The Dynamic Duo]

Why do people get there feathers ruffled up? This is an online forum and when you post something, everyone is entitled to there own opinion no matter what because this world and board is a democracy.

And people who get upset with other people for spelling something incorrectly? So what if somehting is spelled wrong, I mean it's an online forum for gosh's sake people!!!!They could (no offense people regarding this) be faltering form old age or a disease such as dyslexia and not be able to spell!!!!

And to these people, AMEN AND THANK YOU FOR HELPING THE WHOLE SITUATION WITHOUT GETTING YOUR FEATHERS RUFFLED!

scoopiedoo

Maxine

slaneyrose

hobbyhorse23

vic

marty

justantother cowgirl

ashley

minimule and many others Thank you for helping the situation and giving advice.

 

[txminipinto]

Sigh, reasons I lurk more than I post now. Here are some resolutions I think we ALL should try to keep on this forum:

1) Not everyone was raised with horses and they come here to learn. We should help them in a constructive way.

2) Read over your post. If it seems to come across as rough, polish it a little more.

3) If you come here to learn and hear things that you don't like, think it over. There are several of us here with years of experience in all aspects of horse care.

4) Don't take things personally. And don't make it personal.

5) If you are capable of finding this forum on the internet, then you are capable of finding resources to help you learn more about horse health, care, and training. Lack of knowledge is no excuse for abuse. I've never brought any kind of animal home without some basic knowledge of how to care for it. Book stores are loaded with animal care books.

6) If you seek training advice, take it all with a grain salt. Everyone has their own way of training horses. If they have a web page, look at it. Do they have awards? Then they probably have a good knowledge base to go by(don't flame me if you don't, the proof is in the pudding). I look up to those with fancier titles on their horses than I do (Karen S, Belinda, Getitia, etc).

One of the reasons I rarely post now is because people are so sensitive. If its not their way or not the way their vet does it, it must be wrong. Well, there's more than one way to get the same result. Some ways are better than others and we all should be looking for better ways to achieve better results.

 

[justanothercowgirl]

very nicely said Carin!!!!!! :aktion033: :bgrin

 

[Leeana]

I dont think this forum is all that bad. There are many really nice people here that really are just giving there honest opinion and mean the best. But there are also some people who are just mean spirted i think. Some just cant help buy be snobby and stick there noise in others business. But overall, i've met some of the greatest people here!

I dont post much of my business with my horses here in fear of getting my butt chewed out over something stupid. I love this forum, but i've found that many people dont post to much about there horses for a reason and just give opinions and help. I try to read and reply lately to the threads that interest me, i only ask for help or post about my horses when i have to. I've got a reputation here that im not really happy with and i know im not well liked and i know no one (exept one or two) people here have ever really met me or really talked to me. I dont post my business anymore because it always get turned around into a 'sin'.

But i think it depends on the person. I know who is really being nice and helping out, and i know who is lonely and just trying to mess with your head and be downright rude.

...you just need to learn which person fits in which catigory and take it from there.

This forum is great, i dont think anyone knows how much work ML puts into it and i respect that. If she thought there was a problem i know she would have that person on the first flight out of here!!!

:

The only think on this forum that bugs me is i feel like im a little fly on the wall here. I cant share opinion, even if i sugarcoat it, without getting in trouble. But so many people are flatout rude when posting there opinion ..im about as nice and caring as they come but i just cant share my opinion without getting my butt chewed out. I dont know if it has something to do with my age (17), but i do actually know about some things in this world, horse related or not. But thats really the only thing that caused me to stop posting as much. :bgrin

I dont think i'll ever just 'lurk' ...i just dont post to much and read less now. Its for the best. I keep up-to-date w/ everyone though :bgrin

This forum cant be to bad, your still here arnt you?

:

 

[hobbyhorse23]

For the people that would say such rude things to someone's face: you would not be in my life nor my children's lives. You would be avoided and ignored.

If you think you're so "mature" because you say such things, I say, grow up.

Just because people like me (and others on this forum) use tact and compassion doesn't make us weak. It makes us wonderful parents of well adjusted kids and outstanding children to our aging parents. It makes us awesome care-givers: nurses, teachers, baby sitters.

We're the friend you go to when your father dies and your spouse doesn't understand why you are still "moping" around. Or when your kid makes a mistake and you're embarrassed to tell anyone else that they've got to go to court.

The point js1arab was making was that you people were mean. Just plain mean.

I suppose there's a place for mean people in this world. It's just not going to be anywhere near me or the people I love.

p.s. Did I spell everything correctly? Gee, I hope so. I wouldn't want to be considered ignorant-- or worse, not worthy of compassion on this board.

And THERE it IS, ladies and gentleman! A much better written version of what I wanted to say. My hat is off to Yankee Minis tonight. :aktion033:

...taught me from the time I was little...and that would be that it is always better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to "speak" (or type) and remove all doubt.

Ha, I almost used that quote in my post. :lol:

I want to compliment all of you for restoring my faith in Lil' Beginnings. After going downhill so fast that even I finally lost my temper, even this thread managed to turn around and become articulate, supportive, and inspiring. Now that is great. Kudos to all of you, too many to name. And as they've pointed out even the bluntest here have good intentions and are standing by their moral code when they open up on a subject. We may not agree that it is the most effective way to state it, but I can admire that...when I'm not spitting mad! LOL.

Just keep the outright nastiness out of it please.

Leia