Im lost...

Watcheye · Feb 3, 2014

Thank you guys. I really do love them and am sad that I got pushed to that. My grandmother is old and I didnt want to bring it to that. My husband was behind me and kept my mom from me when I was into it with my grandmother. I was tired of all of her snide remarks. One of the reasons I am so cornered is because this is MY HOUSE. I cant leave it so easily. We did leave for a while though to visit with my inlaws for family time.

I get very upset with the "she owes us" attitude. They tried to use that on me tonight. I used to have two horses. One full size and one mini. My dad paid a large amount of money for my child support for a long time. When the number went down from I THINK 1500 per month to 900 per month, I had a job and was paying for my board. It got to the point that I was also paying for almost all of the hay and grain. My dad wanted me to live on campus and I was a little bit scared to do so, I admit. My mom told me that if I left she could not keep my horses so I stayed at home. Without a car, my grandfather would come and drive me to college on the days I had class. I was reminded of the fact that my grandpa drove me everywhere and my mom gave me "everything" ect... Thats usually how it goes and when I remind them of the money I did bring in Im told what a horrible person my dad was. Its sick.

Mom lost the house 3 years ago and the one we are currently in is the one my Husband and I got. My grandparents live about 30 min away.

We used to be so close and I miss that so much. Im sick to tears of being made the villain.

We did contact someone who I had seen before for help and are looking into possibly seeing him again. Otherwise my friend has a counselor who she had been planning to talk to about possibly helping us and we even had a conversation with a police officer (my brother was in a car accident a few days ago to boot - he is ok but that was another drama. We helped him out there and mom thought we were great for that. Boy that lasted long... ) - anyway we talked to the cop about getting help. He gave us his number to call as he didnt have the info right with him. He was a nice guy.

Anyway, thanks again for the support. It really is helping.

shorthorsemom · Feb 3, 2014

The best part is that you can do whatever you want to do, and whenever you want to do it..

We are here for support and we give you suggestions and tell some personal stories for support, but ultimately you do whatever you need to do to get through this and if what we say isn't really what you want to do right now, nobody will be offended. That's the cool part about counceling... they help you come to your own personal solution and they really don't tell you what to do, but rather help you help you yourself figure out what works for you. It is guidance and support and everybody could use a bit of that sometime.

If they were close to you at one time and now this is happening.. I can imagine that the stress on all sides is overwhelming. They all depend on you so much they don't realize they are sinking the boat.

I hope you find some happiness. take care.

Reignmaker Miniatures · Feb 6, 2014

I just want to add 2 things

1) You don't owe your mother or grandparents for anything they may have done for you or spent on you when you were a minor. Not your choice to be born and if your mother didn't want to support you she could have let another family love you. I really makes me so angry for you that someone has convinced you you owe them. If they did anything for you because they want you to be in their debt then they were not showing love.

2)When I have a big problem that I know will be hard for me to deal with I ask myself - If this is the last day/week/month of your life, do you want to spend it like this?

I hope counselling will/is helping you.

Watcheye · Feb 6, 2014

Thank you all for your continued support. I have started counseling today. Its not going to be easy but Ill keep trying. My mom is acting like nothing has happened. Its sad. Topping things off I am looking at needing to put my very old dog down. She is very old and her health is not good.

shorthorsemom · Feb 6, 2014

I am sorry about your dog, I love dogs, it is always a sad time to lose a beloved member of your family. No, it will probably not be easy, but it will make you stronger getting your life back and I am so glad you are going to counseling. It is a great thing to do. Counseling can really help you get through the loss of a pet too.

hold strong watcheye. You have already made the incredible decision to seek help. So many folks think that getting help means you are weak... It is just the opposite... getting help means you are already stronger than you think. take care.

sfmini · Feb 6, 2014

I am so glad you are getting counseling, that could be the best possible help for you, someone with no skin in the game. I agree with the others on all points, and you absolutely do not owe mom a thing. But, if they want to keep on that track, then doesn't mom owe grandparents? Maybe she owes them enough to go care for them? Since the grandparents seem to be so sympathetic to mom's cause, maybe you need to give her a deadline to move in with them, and take that dog. If the dog doesn't go, you will get a two fer at the vet, your old dog and the killer. Hang in there sweetie, we are all behind you.

Please remember, you only have this one life to live and wasting it on this misery isn't worth it. Take the steps you need to take to be able to live the best only life you get to live.

I have to say I am so jealous of you having such a wonderful husband, but he can only take so much, you need to take care of your marriage!