International Adoption

[MInx]

:no: I whole heartdly apologize..First of all this was NOT directed at anyone person on this forum..least of all not the original poster and I'm glad to see the "s%^$#w you" was edited out.

Everyone on here knows I would never delibretley hurt someone, it's just I've seen tears in my little grand daughter cheeks SO many times having been made to feel different by that same question and , it just hit a sore spot today and I took it worng.

No one on this forum has ever done or said anything deserving my vented anger on this subject, and I hope you can forgive an old ladies overprotectiveness. I was out of line and I'm sorry if I caused anyone to be uncomfortable .

Meanwhile I hope in the future if someone want to tell me to get s%^$#@d they can PM me and keep it off the forum.I can take it.

Lets let this be the end of it.

Maxine

 

[Miniv]

Awwww Maxine..... That's so sad that you all have to put up with that kind of cr*p......

Every once in a while someone says something, including members of my husband's family! :new_shocked: And I get rocked back on my heels. To be honest, most of the time, we actually FORGET the adoption and so does our daughter. (She knows the whole story.) But for some reason people are wierd about the subject.

I was also adopted as an infant and told very early.....it just became a part of who I was....but for some reason people are stuck on -- "do you ever feel different?" (no) "don't you ever want to find your REAL parents?" (ummm....They ARE my REAL parents!) .......etc.......

Larry and I happen to love our daughter's bio-mom very much.....and we were fond of the bio-dad before he tragically died in a car crash.....but technically??? She was the "uterine receptical" and he was the "sperm doner" and WE are the parents! (That's how Larry puts it, anyway.)

Maxine, the best thing you can do is come up with a flipant reply to stupid people.....something like --

"Incase you are wondering, she really takes more after her other grandparents! It's kind of like the red-headed gene.... it sometimes skips a generation!"

:

Hang in there.....

MA

 

[RAPfrosty]

My family is adopting from Lithuania. I wouldn't recommend Lithuania though, unless you have heirtage it's a 2+ year wait. Not saying it isn't worth it, my family just got a referral a month ago and we can't wait to travel and pick up my little brother!!!

 

[MInx]

Thank you Miniv I appriciate that and I hope the feeling I hurt today can heal. I feel so bad. I have all but bit my tongue in half before even to when her own uncle called her a "flat face" and I lived in Japan two years, as well as other countries.

I've just seen so much of that and I was out of line. I know now that wasn't posted in that vein, I always do very well with it, just for some reason let it out on here. Hopefully I can do better for all those childrens sakes.

After all I'm SUPPOSED to be the grownup.

: So you all, please don't hold my outrage today, against my family especially little Evie.

Maxine

 

[mininik]

I just wanted to say for the record that I am going to go permanently "edit" (read: delete) my reply. It's obvious there was a great misunderstanding and I was not acting as an adult with my response, either. Maxine, I am very sorry for what I said and of course I do not hold anything against you or your family. :no: I am also sorry to the Amanda who's thread was taken in the wrong direction for all of this.

 

[Miniv]

Nikki,

Please don't worry about it..... Maxine was obviously feeling a bit tender about Evie and it really didn't directly involve you. You were asking questions .... Amanda needed information. Maxine blew off some steam.

It's all taken care of.....

Now..... does anyone else have any other questions? :bgrin

MA

 

[mininik]

Thanks, MA. I understand completely.

:

"Now..... does anyone else have any other questions? :bgrin:"

Not me! :lol:

:

 

[runamuk]

Amanda if you want to talk to my friend she loves to discuss it...and in fact has been invited to speak at one of our local adoption organizations about the proccess to potential adopters.......she is still awaiting travel approval.....her darn paperwork got tangled up at the federal level so now she is waiting out chinese new year

: ...she should travel hopefully in march or april and she is so excited.....she is taking her mother her other daughter her niece and nephew :new_shocked: :new_shocked: but that little boy will know he has a whole extended family from the get go........I have considered adopting a girl but at this point in my life with 2 busy boys....I am not sure...we may look into foster care again as well.....but Idaho's foster system stinks

: ...............

 

[Boinky]

it is kidna funny how the whole "adoption" of foreign children seems to be so "weird" and seems to make people ask really STUPID questions!! someone actually asked my aunt "are you going to tell her she's adopted"? Well OK PEOPLE.. this is a caucasion adopted mother witha chinese baby.. now how in the WORLD do you cover that fact? WE dont' see her any differntly..and alot of times we make jokes about her taking after one of us.. no she's technically no relation as far as genetics..but she IS one of us in our hearts and minds. I think it's sad that they throw baby girls away in china..but there are sooo many people that want to adopt children that maybe it's a good thing for those wanting babies? I think in the long run it's only going to hurt china though, beacuse they are giving away or killing all their baby girls and will only have a male population before too long!

 

[Miniv]

Back to Amanda...

:

I'll always remember a comment made by a dad who, with his wife, had adopted several kids, and also had several birth kids. When asked about it, he replied "Some are adopted and some aren't, but I fogot which are which." :aktion033:

Karla

Yaaay!

: :aktion033: Love it!

MA

 

[MInx]

I just wanted to say for the record that I am going to go permanently "edit" (read: delete) my reply. It's obvious there was a great misunderstanding and I was not acting as an adult with my response, either. Maxine, I am very sorry for what I said and of course I do not hold anything against you or your family. :no: I am also sorry to the Amanda who's thread was taken in the wrong direction for all of this.

No problem Nikki dear..I was the one out of line and lets just clean the slate and start over. Adoption is a great thing no matter where from and I wouldn't want to put a damper on it in anyone's eyes

Hugs, Maxine

 

[shane]

I JUST WANTED TO ADD,THAT WHEN A WOMAN GETS TOLD SHE CANT HAVE CHILDREN IT BECOMES LIKE AN OBSESSION TO SOME,MYSELF INCLUDED I REMEMBER I WAS TOLD THAT GENETICALLY I SHOULDNT HAVE ANY CHILDREN I BECAME OBSESSED I REMEMBER THE DESPERATION I FELT WALKING ROUND THE SHOPS LOOKING AT BABY CLOTHES ETC,I BOUGHT EVERYTHING THINKING IF I BUY IT ALL ILL GET A BABY SOMDAY,I WAS SO DESPERATE TO LOVE ACHILD,AFTER EXPERIENCING WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO BE A MOTHER,THEN HAVING IT TAKEN AWAY FROM YOU WITHOUT A SAY, I REALLLY SINCERLEY SYMPATHISE WITH ANY COUPLE OUT THERE THAT HAVE WALKED IN OUR SHOES ITS AWFUL, AND I WISH EVERONE THATS IN THE PROCESS OF ADOPTING FULLFILL THERE DREAMS AS I HAVE ,I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER WHO IS MY LIFES BREATH,AND I THANK GOD EVERYDAY FOR HER ,

 

[Robin1]

MA,

I was told recently that China has changed their policy on the one only child. They were running into too many problems with the abandonment of the little girls and the 1 child threatening the parents and grandparents that they would commint suicide if not given what they wanted. :new_shocked:

Robin