Just found out I'm pregnant

[dreammountainminis]

HI all I just found out that I am pregnant and I'm having very mixed feelings I already have 5 kids four live at home full time and my 11 year old son lives with his dad as he has adhd /odd and the therapist said he would do better in a one on one enviroment , and he has ...

The four I have at home are ages 13 , 10 , 5 and 4 plus I take care of my 80 year old dad that has parkinsons diease. This was not a planned pregnancy ..

Please dont flame me for this ...Everyone in the house is happy including my dad ,But for some reason I am feeling more upset than happy..Everything that is done here is done by me and my 13 yr old daughter. The horses ,house work , yard work ect...My other half works 3rd shift and works 50+ hours a week plus it is an hour drive one way..When he is home he is sleeping..

I kinda feel helpless, maybe it is just preg hormones ...Right now I am living by the saying god never gives you more than you can handle..Both my younger boys will be going to kindergarden next fall and it would have only been me and dad at home now its going to be Dad ,me and baby...

Is it normal to be having the mixed feelings that I am having ??

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[mininik]

You always have options... I would simply consider what is best for the child, your family and yourself.

 

[lil]

'O' Lord yes, yes, yes it is normal to feel this way.....I felt the same way when I found out I was preggy with my fifth in seven years. I also had a full plate with taking care of my sickly mother-in-law, taking care of her house and cooking, cleaning after her husband so I guess I was taking care of father-in-law also...........and I had no help from my husband who had a drinking problem and couldn't or wouldn't hold a job so I was pretty much stuck living with the in-laws in order to give my kids a house to live in and food to eat........

But as you said GOD helps you cope if you let him and keep the faith........really can't tell you how I did it most is just a blur but I did it and lived to tell about it with GOD'S help..........

So please don't feel bad that you are having these feelings anybody in your situation would feel the same..

Will be keeping you in my prayers............

 

[ChrystalPaths]

Yes it is normal to have these feelings. I found out I was pregnant at 35 and I was not thrilled but I had a son and he will be 17 and he is a good boy. It was harder being older but I did it. MY heart is with you, with so many and so much it will be hard but trust in fate and all good things and what is meant to be will. BTW...a tender congratulations.

 

[txminipinto]

I'm one of "those" women who has no desire to have children. Never have and I don't know why. I'm approaching 30 at the speed of light currently, and there's no clock ticking (maybe it's digital). I totally understand you! When my friends or family tell me their pregnant, my knee jerk reaction is "I'm sorry". I don't know why though!

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You sound like me, a woman with a lot on your plate. You'll do what's best for you and the child. I think that's one of the reasons I have no drive to reproduce. I'm so busy, I just don't know if I have any more room in my life for someone else at the moment.

 

[mininik]

LOL Carin, I'm also "one of those" women who has no desire to reproduce. I say thank goodness there are some of us out there or this planet would be dead already!

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[dreammountainminis]

Thank you all so very much for your kind words I feel a little better to know there are others that have been there...I think another reason this is so hard my mom passed away it will be two years ago in dec and i was the only child so she was there through every pregnancy and birth with me . Now she is gone and so is all the support i ever had...I only wish she was still here ..But I know she is with me always.

 

[Miniv]

My take is that your little unborn Spirit must have a purpose on this earth and for some reason you are supposed to be his or her mother.........In other words, "everything happens for a reason.". I know......it doesn't help to hear that when you are staring reality in the face.

And yes, you are Right On about your own mother. She IS and WILL BE with you for this child.

MA

 

[The Simple Life Farm]

You can only take it one day at a time. The right decision will come to you.

I am with Carin and Nicole... I am also one of "those" women. When someone finds out I don't have any children, they automatically proceed to TELL me that i NEED to starta family. They treat me as if I am from another planet.

 

[nootka]

I felt the same way with my third. It IS a huge, huge commitment (there is no bigger one, than to decide to have a child, and to have it happen unexpectedly can bring feelings of being overwhelmed, afraid and just plain sad, especially combined with the hormones).

You must make some decisions, now, and my thoughts are with you on this...nothing will be easy.

take care of yourself and rest when you can, it'll help with your state of mind.

Liz M.

 

[Marty]

I wish I was you!

 

[PrestigeMiniHorses]

awww i just had my first child friday and I have to say I kno exactly how you feel. Its totally normal thats for sure. just take it a day at a time.

 

[bluetaterbaby]

:aktion033: Congratulations! It's normal to have mixed feelings and you'll see that God has something wonderful in store! I wish I would have had a house full. Children are such blessings! My prayers are there for all of you. I thank God for supplying all your needs.

Joan

 

[Sanny]

Mixed feelings....totally normal. I'd wonder about you if you were totally thrilled about it and thought it would be a piece of cake!

Ive been in the same boat...our 4th child who is 1.5 years old was not at all planned -- I was on birth control at the time....but I wouldn't change a thing. Even after tonight when I was sitting at the table helping two with homework at the same time, another was playing a clarinet pretty much right in my ear and the baby was riding his little scooter car around and around and around the table. OH and the new puppy was busy under the table chewing up one of the kids library books! My husband works a lot too so everything around home is pretty much my responsibility -- kids and their appointments, activities, sports, etc. horses and their care and needs, the house and yard and the upkeep involved,,,,,,you get the picture.

Added to the mix are our foster children ages 15 and 18 who were not "planned" either but when they went in to the system the social worker assigned to them had worked with us before and felt we were the perfect match for them and and what they needed and here they are with our family and I see on a daily basis little things that I know they would never think or experience or do or dream of doing if they were not living with our family now so it was meant to be, I know we are making a difference in their lives and hopfully they will go out into the world and make a positive difference themselves

 

[Bess Kelly]

Normal feelings. All the things mentioned plus, let's face it, with the two younger ones going to start school there was a little window of "relief" of some of the demand on your time. Yep, that's diappointing!!

As to "those women" :bgrin my daughter was one.......never wanted children........then, one day, she called and said "I want to have a child" So, at 32 she proceeded to do so. Now, that was a thought provoker for me, as I was settled into no granchildren. But, my grandaughter is wonderful!!! And, my daughter has been a great mom

: It's OK not to have any!!!!! But, sometimes that darned clock just jumps up when you least expect it.

 

[REO]

All I'm going to add, is I wish you happiness. Things will be ok.

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{{{{Hugs}}}} Close your eyes and allow yourself to feel the warmth of your mom's hug of comfort.

 

[FairytailGlennMinis]

First off--congratulations! Second, I think your feelings are normal. I would like to point out something from the other side of things. I am one of those women that has tried and tried and had the heartbreak of loss. It has never settled with me that I won't be able to have babies as the docs have told me over the years. After almost 12 years of happy marriage we are now talking about looking into adoption further. I am hoping that maybe out there somewhere is someone who will happen to be carrying the little soul that is meant to find it's way to us. We aren't quite at that "ready" point, but there are so many that are. The waiting list is years long. I just wanted to suggest that maybe if your own world doesn't have a place for one more, maybe there is someone near you who is just waiting and praying for that little miracle. I know that you will fall in love with that tiny baby when you see her little face, but just wanted to point out one other possibility.

Amy

 

[MiniforFaith]

Mel, just wanted to say congrats!! LIke I said when I called, anytime you need me I am here

: I might be 4 or so hrs away, but only a second to dial the phone

: Take care of you and that baby!!

 

[zoey829]

It is normal to have mixed feelings. Take time and figure out what is best and keep us posted. You cant be too far from me. If you ever want to meet for coffee let me know! I am always willing to listen.

 

[PaintedPromiseRanch]

My take is that your little unborn Spirit must have a purpose on this earth and for some reason you are supposed to be his or her mother.........In other words, "everything happens for a reason."

I'm with you MA... my third was conceived when i was separated, she is living proof that "it only takes once" - when my husband found out i was pregnant he assumed i would HAVE to come back to him, stopped being nice to get me back, and i filed for divorce. in a courtroom of over 30 people i was the only one that the judge did not ask "are you currently pregnant" (or or course if it was a man, is your spouse currently pregnant)...

i firmly believe there is a reason for my daughter... i don't know if SHE will do something important, or maybe "just" be the mother of someone who will do something important, but the way she was conceived, and living through birth with the cord around her neck, croup at 4 months, and getting kicked in the face by a big horse at age 6... yup there is a reason for this kid!

sounds like your plate is full, Mel... maybe this new baby is DESSERT

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big {{{hugs}}} and best wishes to you

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