My dad in hospital again just got home

[dreammountainminis]

Hi everyone as you all know I Have been taking care of my 80 yr old father , For 2 and a half yrs now 24/7. He has parkinsons diease . Well today he was just not acting like himself So I did the normal checked temp it was 98 . Then I started checking everything such as heart rate , breath sounds and Bp . Heartrate was 120 and bp was 80/40 so I go into almost panic mode ,reclined him back put his feet up above his heart And still no change in bp so I called the ambulance and rushed him to er.

They seem to think he is getting another UTI . I am really getting frustrated with some of the doctors though, I had one ask me WHY did you bring him in? There is no temp and he is very old...Why not put him on hospice and just take him home ????? I took him in because he was having mental status changes and his bp and heartrate were unstable...Dont get me wrong hospice is a great thing , but dad is not ready for hospice , I have been a cna for 8yrs so I have a medical background.

This so upsets me as I have taken care of my dad since I was 13yrs old I am now 31 and have taken care of him 24/7 for 2 1/2 years , We have traveled a very long hard road . But I am not willing to just write him off like he is a piece of garbage , I requested another ER doc and the one that told me too just put him on hospice and take him home come back in and informed me that He feels I made the irrational decision to change doctors because i am 5 months pregnant and my hormones are out of wack...WHAT....My pregnancy has nothing to do with my decision to change doctors....

That doctor does not know my dad . My dad has a quality of life , he is just like you and I except when he has an infection , My dad still goes camping with us he still goes to local shows with us and he is very functionable when he does not have an infection ...He has maintained a steady wieght for a year and a half ...Other than getting these reaccurring UTI's and parkinsons he is pretty healthy ,when he gets an infection it throws his whole system out of wack until he is treated ..

This doctor went as far to tell me how would you like to lay and suffer the way you are making your dad suffer...

I do not believe my dad is suffering . I feel that dad and god will let me know when it is time to make the decision to bring him home on hospice...I dont understand why just because one is elderly and gets an infection this doctor seems to think he needs to be put out of his misery...I wonder if this doc would do the same if it was his parent or even say his child who is 15 ....

I know my dad is no spring chicken , But I am making his life the best possible . I do not throw my dad to the side just because things are hard , he interacts with my kids all the time him and my 4 yr old sits on peepaws lap and watches tv every day ..He is included in everything we do ..

The attending doc head of er came in to take over dads care and he has had dad before and he does not feel dad is a canidate for hospice at this time ...I know there is going to come a time where hospice will help my dad ..He also said he was going to have a talk with the other doctor.

I now understand why so many elderly ppl end up in homes because tonight I actually felt like that doctor was trying to force the decision of hospice on me , and some ppl without a medical background may have made the decision to put their loved one on hospice or put them in a home , I am glad I have the training I have and that I can be my dads advocate .

Please pray for my dad that he has the streghth to over come this infection. It would be greatly appreciated. Sorry for the vent it just upsets me That it seems like that doctor had no compassion .Thank you so much for listening...I will keep everyone updated on dad.

 

[Barbie]

[SIZE=12pt]Prayers for your dad. He is very fortunate to have a daughter like you taking care of him. Keep up the good work.[/SIZE]

Barbie

 

[Jill]

I am so sorry about what you went through at the hospital, and about your father's infection. You have got so much on your shoulders and sure don't need an insensitive doctor telling you thngs that are not so. I am happy that you have the self confidence and knowledge though to question doctors who do not make sense (or don't LISTEN). A lot of people do not have the insight and courage that you do in that department. I hope your dad heals from this infection soon and I understood all that you said, and feel that you are doing the right things.

 

[Kathy2m]

Bless you and your family, I hope he gets better soon, some Doc. and nurses need to learn better bedside manners. Kathy

 

[CrescentMinis]

I am so proud of you for refusing to take the opinions of those first doctors as "gospel." Wish everyone had a skilled advocate like your dad does.

God bless you and your family.

 

[Sterling]

I feel your frustration. When Dad was in the hspital back about a year or so ago for falling down the stairs in his house, we all were there like bees to honey making sure everything that was done for him was done. We had to even request and override the ER dr.'s decision...which we are glad we did now! You keep on taking care of your Dad. Don't let anyone else tell you otherwise. He's very lucky to have you as his daughter and caretaker.

 

[Brandi*]

You have every right to be angry at that doctor!! He overstepped some serious boundaries IMO. Just stay strong and do what you know is right for your Dad!

 

[MiniforFaith]

Mel,

I feel so bad for you. I was hoping your dad would be lucky and stay out of the hospital for a while. You know your dad, and I am so glad you stood up to the drs.. They get paid to act like they know what they are doing

Your dad is in the best hands-- yours..

Just continue to listen to that inter voice..And please remember to try to relax a little for the little one's sake..

Just call anytime if you need to vent.. I am still the late night owl.. I am here for ya if you need me, just wish I wasn't so far away.

 

[Leeana]

I am so sorry, i wish all the best for you, your father and the rest of your family. I do think you are doing the right thing

 

[Mona]

I am so sorry you had to go through all that to get your Dad the care he needed and should have gotten! I hope and pray he will overcome this.

 

[dreammountainminis]

Thank you all for being here for me to vent too , sometimes I just get so frustrated that I need to talk to someone and since I have no immediate family except for my dad I turn here ...You guys have always been there to shed light and advice ....

That doctor and so many others in my opinion need to learn bedside manners and compassion not only for the patients but for there families also ...They also need to listen instead of judge in the first five minutes of meeting a patient ...How would they feel if the shoe was on the other foot and someone was saying this about his family member??

My dad has always been there for me as I am now there for him ...I feel bad that their are elderly ppl out there that there loved ones have passed before them and they dont have any one to advocate for them ..I have been in the er with my dad a couple times when the patient next to him has had no family and is elderly and the doctors immediatley start a morphine drip , (mercy killing them not right in my eyes ...So many older folks may have pulled through with a little better medical attention ..I will not let them administer any morphine or sedatives to my father unless I am present and see that he is uncomfortable..

Dad is doing a little better today , still low Bp but heartrate is stable . And he is not as lethargic as he was yesterday , He is getting his appetite back also...Hopefully he will over come this infection so I can get him back home ..I will update everyone tommorow..Take care and god bless

 

[JennyB]

[SIZE=12pt][/SIZE]

Prayers for your beloved Dad...

((((HUGS))))

Jenny

 

[dreammountainminis]

Saturday update on dad ,

He is stable ,but they seem to think it is his parkinson meds that is causing his Bp to drop so low today 78/48.. They are weaning off his senimet 25/100 mg . I hope this does not effect him to much as before he started this med he could not even speak and his tremors were out of this world . I so hope and pray that this dose not set him back , It was nice being able to talk to dad again after him not being able to communicate . I wish I could take my dads place ...Parkinsons is such an awful diease It is like a mack truck that keeps running over us . We get one illness taken care of and boom , something else hits us (dad and I )...I would take his place in a minute if it was possible . Please please pray that taking him off his meds dose not affect him negitively...Thank you so much for being here in our time of need .