my husband is nearing the end of his long fight

Miniature Horse Talk Forums

Help Support Miniature Horse Talk Forums:

This site may earn a commission from merchant affiliate links, including eBay, Amazon, and others.
It has been almost 4 yrs since I lost my daddy just this way. I also treasured those finger tugs and tiny smiles and I will always treasure his last "I love you too". Just want you to know prayers and light continue for Gary and you.
 
I have read this thread from the beginning...have so admired your strength and your love for this man. I should hope if it is ever my turn to deal with this that I can be as strong as you. My husband and I have been married 43 years...since I was 18.

My thoughts are with you every day...my prayers are there also. I start my mornings looking at your postings and end my night with them...

If there are real hero's in this world.... even ones that are strangers you would have to be mine. Thank you for sharing you happiness and your sadness with this forum, you are quite a lady!
 
I was thinking about you a lot again today Charlene....for some reason with me, it's when I'm spending time with the pups.......

Take care Charlene....you are a very special person!
default_cheekkiss.gif


Please send Gary's Mom hugs from us here too...

((((hugs))))

~kathryn
 
Thinking about you Charlene ...

You are going through something so spiritual now and you will cherish these moments in the days to come.

Again, I have to tell you ...Gary is so lucky to have you
default_smile.png


sending you a warm Hug ~ Teri
 
well now, you guys are just about to make me cry! such sweet words from everyone!

i have to tell you, i'm coping better than i ever thought i could in these circumstances. you know, i think for most people, it's almost a certain that at some time or another, we wonder what we would do without our mates should something unforeseen happen. i know over my 11 years with gary, i have had thoughts even before he became ill, thoughts of 'whatever would i DO without this man??' now that i am faced with exactly this prospect, i have come to realize that i CAN go on living although my life will never be the same...

for years, when gary came home from working a construction job, the back door would fly open and i would be greeted with "LUUUCY!! I'M HOME!!!", ala desi arnez in the "i love lucy" comedies. some of you, i know, are old enough to remember those. ;) there was never a dull moment around this farm. gary always had projects going, always building something, he almost always had his tool belt strapped on. he would tell me "i'm beautifying the company area." everywhere i look around here, both inside and out, i have reminders of him. most, if not all of them, have a story behind them and i have such fond memories of things we did together.

when we first moved out here 10 years ago, on my way out the door one day, i told him i'd like to have him build a hitching post for me when he had time. when i arrived home 8 hours later, there it was, set in concrete and on the top post was inscribed the words "gary loves nina" with the date.

in 11 years, i have never wanted for anything. if i thought i needed another dog, gary would say "honey, you do whatever you want!" if i thought i should add another mini horse, even though that was done not too many months ago when i had enough on my plate, gary said "honey, you just do whatever you want." i cannot think of a single time that he even said to me "are you SURE you wanna do THAT?"

we were always happy just to be together. i couldn't wait to get home from work, just to be with him. i would put off a shopping trip for as long as i could just because i didn't want to leave home and be gone from him for a single minute. it's been this way from the beginning. we both often wished we had met long before we did because had we met sooner, we would have had so many more years together. we've crammed a LOT of living into 11 years, every minute of every day has been happy, although the past 21 months since his diagnosis have been bittersweet. still, i would not trade a single minute of any of it for all the tea in china.

finally...much of my strength comes from watching how gary's dear, sweet mother has dealt with recent events and really, how she has dealt with his illness from the very beginning. although she is stoic, she is not afraid to cry and she is not so consumed with her own grief that she cannot comfort me when i need it. she is an amazing woman, that cannot be said enough. she told me not long ago that although she lost her own husband and she has lost 2 grandsons and had other sad times in her life, going through this with gary has been the hardest thing she has ever done. heck, she and i have lived together under the same roof almost 24/7 for the past 10 days and we have become almost like sisters. i can't imagine coping with all of this without her.

so, that's it, not really in a nutshell :DOH! but i wanted to give credit where credit is due! i guess when it comes right down to it, gary has made it oh so easy to love him!!!

xoxo, i'm tired and i'm heading to bed. love to you all! charlene
default_smile.png
 
Last edited by a moderator:
Dearest Charlene

You are such an inspiration to us all - your love for Gary and his for you is so overwhelmingly warm and comforting.

Each morning the first thing I do is check the Forum for an update - it is with considerable trepidation, knowing that one day the news is going to be so sad, but the moments that you are so selflessly sharing with all of us about the tender touches & whispered "I love you's" are so very precious - it starts my day with tears, and again each evening the last thing I do again is check on progress, and again, end my day with tears - they are bittersweet tears to be sure, so full of love, but also with sadness for what is soon to come.

Again, your bravery amazes me and I take great strength in it - my prayers are with you, Gary and your entire family for continued strength and peace.

May God bless and keep you,

Stacy
 
What a beautiful love story. Thank you for allowing us inside your heart, and your head.

xox Leonie xox
 
Wow. We do find strength when we need it (I can attest to that). I hope I can muster it up when it's time.

I can feel your calm and strength Charlene. Honestly. I am happy for Gary...
 
Charlene, your posts leave me speechless and in tears. I really don't know what to say except that I continue to keep you, Gary and his mother in my thoughts and prayers. You are an amazing example for us all.

Thank you for sharing your beautiful love story with us.

Warmest regards,

Rebecca
 
I am checking in to see how you are doing and to let you know that I think of you so many many times a day. My wish for you is that you have seen his smile, and that he has seen yours. Your love is so obvious by the way you speak of him and I am sure he feels that with every look, every touch, every word.

I just read the post about Robert, I just cant believe the strength of both of you and Lisa and my heart breaks for you both as well.

Here's to you girls.
 
Charlene I don't think I posted yesterday but I (like others have said) check in on you and Gary both morning and night (and a few times in between). Both your love for Gary, and his for you, shine through your posts with a warm light that draws us all to your side. Though we can't be there in person I hope that you draw strength from knowing that so many of us are praying for you all. Please give Gary's mom a special hug from. You're never far from my mind.
 
it so warms my heart to know so many people are keeping gary and me in their thoughts and prayers. i come here first thing, before i even do chores (much to tuffy's dismay) to read the posts from the night before and early morning. thank you all SO much for your kind words!

gary had a restful night, snored like a freight train and that is such a comforting sound to me. he is still having and will continue to have periods of apnea. every once in a while, he will say something just as clear as a bell. yesterday he "woke" at one point, told me over and over again he loved me and then said "i have to get OUTTA here!" the hospice nurse said that could have been his way of saying he is getting ready. today is day 11 of the projected 10 days to 2 weeks we were given when we left the hospital. we are keeping him comfortable and his pain is under control. i guess we are simply waiting for his heart to say "uncle". nana and i laughed a bit yesterday and agreed, he is being as stubborn about death as he has been about everything in life.

we found more pictures of gary yesterday, lots taken last year at Christmas. i had not realized until seeing those pictures how much things declined over the months. the pictures from last year show an almost-robust man enjoying Christmas dinner.

so many fond memories flood back to me when i see pictures of him with his tool belt strapped on! i wonder what the first thing he'll build will be when he gets to heaven. whatever it is, it will be LEVEL!
default_wink.png
 
Oh Charlene, tears flowing down my face, just touched my heart so much, the tool belt and what he would make first...

Our new Son- in- law is a construction worker and is the best Son I could have ask for...

I know all about the tool belt, it is very important ...
default_wink.png


Hope you have a good day, and talk soon..
 
Charlene...I had to chuckle when you said..."Wonder what the first thing he'll build in Heaven...whatever it is...will be level"........well....when he gets there...tell him to look up my Dad....he built things too...but when we sold his house...it was funny...cause we'd say..."Oh look how he did the electrical wiring here/there...way too creative with adding plugs, etc...and good grief...who ever gave that man a can of silver paint...he painted everything with it! LOL Dad loved to tinker and putz with stuff...could used a little more 'level' in his plans so to speak. Isnt it funny how clear we can see them peacefully going about their love in Heaven...where they dont hurt anymore...seems to clear when I think of it.
 
Charlene,

I like the others check in everyday to see about you and Gary.. You are a very strong person and lucky to have had the 11 years with Gary to cherish and remember....

Some people are never happy in life so miss out on so much, even a short time of wonderful is worth more than a whole life of nothing special...

Keep staying strong- cry bushels full- dont hold it in that is unhealthy...

They are in for alot of new things to be built in heaven soon... Gary will be painfree and going to town building anything that needs done!

Will be checking everyday with your struggle, give Gary lots of ((((HUGS))) and kisses...
 
Charlene...I had to chuckle when you said..."Wonder what the first thing he'll build in Heaven...whatever it is...will be level"........well....when he gets there...tell him to look up my Dad....he built things too...but when we sold his house...it was funny...cause we'd say..."Oh look how he did the electrical wiring here/there...way too creative with adding plugs, etc...and good grief...who ever gave that man a can of silver paint...he painted everything with it! LOL Dad loved to tinker and putz with stuff...could used a little more 'level' in his plans so to speak. Isnt it funny how clear we can see them peacefully going about their love in Heaven...where they dont hurt anymore...seems to clear when I think of it.
too funny! i'm sure gary will round up a whole crew of workers! my dad will be among them but gary will have to watch him closely. nothing my dad did was ever done "right", it was always done the way he thought it should be but hey, he was a SALESMAN and the furthest thing from a builder there could be! i have many memories of visiting my mom after dad died and having her armed with a whole list of things she needed gary to "fix". :DOH!

i tell gary every day about how much you all have meant to me since i shared our story. even though he cannot respond, i know he hears me and i will continue to tell him of all the prayers being said.

i am taking a couple of hours to putter around the house and will check in before i head back to gary's side.
default_saludando.gif
 
Well Charlene, there will be another builder to visit too, my Dad, it had to be level and square, and when doing trim the cuts had better be right he sure didnt like using caulk or wood filler. I remember one of the hardest days was when we sold our first house, there was so much work my Dad had done in there, one was the fireplace mantel, I cryed so hard at the closing that day, knowing that my new house would not have my Dads little touches. Take comfort in knowing you have that from Gary, Thinking of you all, Kathy
 
Charlene,

I am just checking in. Thank you so much for your updates! You two have been the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the mornings. Hang in there
 
PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU TO KEEP HANDLING IT LIKE YOU ARE, I DON'T THINK I COULD. MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU AND GARY.
 

Latest posts

Back
Top