my husband is nearing the end of his long fight

[sfmini]

Charlene, Robin has an excellent point, I have heard of so many people who hang on and hang on and the second they are finally alone, they go.

Dogs do seem to know what is going on, even if the family member isn't home. While my mother was in the hospital her final month, Max, my Corgi and her heart dog always laid down next to her chair and slept in her spot in the bed. The day we came home after she died, Max came over to my Dad and laid down next to his chair and never returned to my Mom's. He also snuggled up to my Dad in bed at night, never again in my Mom's spot.

 

[MeadowRidge Farm]

Charlene, (((Hugs))) to you this morning. I can only imagine how hard this must be on you. If you need a shoulder, I'm here. Prayers continued. Corinne

 

[Charlene]

things have changed a little from last night. we are seeing mottling, gary is in a coma-like state all the time now, he is feverish, his breathing is shallow. i am told this could go on for another day or two.

the only reason i am here is to give him a chance to leave this world on his own terms. i have told him this morning that i would like to be with him when he passes but i am not sure he wants me there. he's always been a proud man, maybe he wants to go when he is alone, to save me the agony of watching him die. it's so hard to know these things but i want to give him that chance.

he appears to be in no pain. we have found that if he lays propped up on his left side, he is much more comfortable so that is what we did last night. he has not moved an inch. we have been diligent about moving him, shifting his position every couple of hours to prevent pressure sores but at this point, we are no longer worried about that. nana and i and the hospice nurses agreed that since he is comfortable, we will leave him as he is.

i am trying very hard to come to terms with all of this. just when i think i am ready to let him go, i realize all over again how much i love him and how very much i will miss him. i have to keep reminding myself that he will soon be well, he will be at peace and that is what i want the most. i keep telling him i will be okay. i hope he believes me but he always could see right through me. how well i remember when we had to have our old husky put to sleep. i kept telling him i'm okay and he kept saying "no, you aren't." he knows me too well.

he will soon be with his two nephews, his dad, his grandparents, and he will soon meet my own father for the first time. i wish i could be there with him but i can't. some day.

 

[SilverDollar]

My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you, Charlene. I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through. I lost my dad to leukemia when I was 21 and that was the worst time in my whole life. It's so difficult watching a loved one make this journey. You'll have strength when you need it, whether it comes from within or from those who love you and surround you. Hugs and prayers to you all.

Rebecca

(I loved Mary's poem...beautiful.)

 

[lvponies]

My thoughts and prayers are with you for strength, with Gary for an easy passing and with his family and loved ones. May your memories of your time together bring you comfort after he's gone. Your forum family is here for you whenever you may need us.

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[bfogg]

I cried reading this,

I wish i could fix him and you,I feel so helpless.

Hugs

Bonnie

 

[anoki]

I cried reading that too!!! Bonnie already wrote my exact feelings.....I feel so helpless and wish there was something that I could do to make things better.....

huge huge (((((HUGS)))))

my heart just breaks for you....

~kathryn

 

[Kathy2m]

Charlene, I'll be thinking of you all this weekend, I've got the ADT to go to in Tampa in a few hours I'm going to take my laptop to try and keep updated on you and Gary if I have wifi in the motel. God Bless you and your family, Kathy

 

[Barbie]

[SIZE=12pt]I also cried reading this. I remember when my dad passed almost 7 years ago - he waited until my stepmom started for home to leave us and go to be with my mom, his parents and his brother. From what we were told, 10 minutes after Vicki left, he was gone. I'm thinking about you and Gary a lot - it's so sad, but soon he will be healthy again. Just remember, some day you will be together again.[/SIZE]

Barbie

 

[Valerie]

Charlene, so much of what you have described is how my mom went last year.......she had a stroke and then died 12 hours later, but gosh her heart was sooooooo strong, she held on until all of us kids could drive home (a couple of us had quite the drives) and then she passed on 12 hours later.

I also know that when Gary does move on to the other side, you can be sure he will give you signs from the other side. I know that my Dad and several of us kids have gotten signs from Mom from the other side.

There is nothing I can say to lessen the pain you are feeling, I know that I miss my mom daily and it's been over a year now, but it is nice to know that she died peacefully and with loving family around her.

I am truly hoping the same for your Gary. It sounds like he is not in any pain, I know that was our main concern as well.

Please know I am thinking of you daily and praying that Gary goes in peace and with all the love we can send with him.

 

[Reble]

Oh Charlene, I thought of you a lot last night...

 

[heart k ranch]

((((hugs))))))

I'm praying for you! I keep checking in to see how you are doing!

 

[hhpminis]

Checking in to see how you are doing. Your last post really made the waterworks go.

Still in this time you are being so unselfish and caring for Garys feelings. You are an inspiration.

One thing that I am concerned about is that we have all told you what a strong person you are and so forth. Please dont think that you cannot come on here and show your weak side. It is OK, it is natural and we will be here to support you.

Hugs my dear Charlene

 

[LaraP]

Charlene and Family,

Everyday I wake up and the first thing I think of is you and Gary.. I don't think you know how much you and your Family have impacted so many lives.

We lost our 19 yr old son well it will be three years ago on Jan 16th. but the Lord reached down and just snatched him from us. He was killed pretty much instantly. I guess we never realized how truly fortunate we were. I used to wish that Joshua could have stayed with us longer, I remember telling David I would take him paralized in a hospital bed in the middle of my living room, its got to be better than one day he is just a fine healthy young man to being GONE.. You have shown David and I both, the way that the Lord took Joshua, spared us so much less hurt then what you are going thru now.

With all the crazyness in this world today the horrors that we see on TV, at times I just dont want to hear anymore. What more can the media tell us that would truly shock us anymore? I think we have seen and heard it all. Then there is YOU.. You are the bravest woman I think I have ever known. Thank you so much for sharing this with us all.

I will tell you I was routing so much for Gary.. I wanted so much for Gary to pull out of this and be just fine.

Gary is very fortunate to have found you! HE is one lucky man.

Sometimes at night when David is sleeping beside me, I look at him, watch him sleep, and think of you. I feel so lucky that David is healthy, and I am fortunate enough to still have him. Bless your heart Charlene. You have given ME courage.. for that I will always be grateful.

Thank you again.

Lara and David Pier

 

[Charlene]

i am on my way back to nana's. i have washed and dried gary's favorite afghan and i will be sending it with him when the time comes.

hhp, i have a feeling that when all is said and done, my weak side will be exposed for all the world to see. right now, i have to be strong for gary, for nana, for the rest of gary's family. i am holding it together but when i fall apart, i know i can depend on all of you to pick up the pieces.

i can't thank you enough for your kind words, thoughts, prayers. i will update as time allows. love & hugs to you all! charlene

Charlene and Family,

Everyday I wake up and the first thing I think of is you and Gary.. I don't think you know how much you and your Family have impacted so many lives.

We lost our 19 yr old son well it will be three years ago on Jan 16th. but the Lord reached down and just snatched him from us. He was killed pretty much instantly. I guess we never realized how truly fortunate we were. I used to wish that Joshua could have stayed with us longer, I remember telling David I would take him paralized in a hospital bed in the middle of my living room, its got to be better than one day he is just a fine healthy young man to being GONE.. You have shown David and I both, the way that the Lord took Joshua, spared us so much less hurt then what you are going thru now.

With all the crazyness in this world today the horrors that we see on TV, at times I just dont want to hear anymore. What more can the media tell us that would truly shock us anymore? I think we have seen and heard it all. Then there is YOU.. You are the bravest woman I think I have ever known. Thank you so much for sharing this with us all.

I will tell you I was routing so much for Gary.. I wanted so much for Gary to pull out of this and be just fine.

Gary is very fortunate to have found you! HE is one lucky man.

Sometimes at night when David is sleeping beside me, I look at him, watch him sleep, and think of you. I feel so lucky that David is healthy, and I am fortunate enough to still have him. Bless your heart Charlene. You have given ME courage.. for that I will always be grateful.

Thank you again.

Lara and David Pier

lara, i think we were posting at the same time...i can't leave without telling you how sorry i am for the loss of your precious son. i cannot help but wonder and marvel at the way gary's dear mother is coping. i cannot imagine the pain of the loss of a child.

as i have said before, if my story does nothing other than make others realize the joy of having their spouse at their side, i have accomplished more than i could ask for. please, for gary and for me, love your spouse with a passion like no other. that, alone, will make gary's fight worthwhile!

 

[AppyLover2]

Oh Charlene my heart is absolutely breaking for you.

If tears brought miracles there's no doubt your Gary would be out of that bed, strapping on his tool belt, and asking you which project you want to work on next. Unfortunately, no matter how much we wish we could make him better, all we can really do is tell you how very much we care....about you, your pain and the fear I'm sure you face every minute of every day. ((((((((HUGS)))))))))

 

[Brandi*]

Many thoughts of you and Gary today.

Sending love your way

 

[Magic]

My heart is just breaking for you, watching your beloved husband lose this long fight for life. He definitely put up a good fight too, didn't he? He WILL be rewarded on the other side, and he will be watching over you then. Sending continued prayers for all of you.

 

[LaraP]

Charlene,

My love for David grows more and more, and when I think about what you and Gary and family are going thru I so appreciate him more. I thank God for him everyday. So know, Gary's fight and your courage has diffenently brought David and I that much closer. Tell Gary Thank you. I know Joshua watches over us, and he knows what we are doing. I sometimes wonder if when God comes and takes Gary by the hand, Joshua will be there to greet Gary as well..

Again, Charlene, I will never forget you or Gary and you just don't know how your love for each other has spread thru this forum. You need to tell your story to others as well.

We were lost when Joshua was taken from us. And still feel the emptyness of not hearing his voice, but it would have been too much to bear to watch him go slowly. So God was thinking of us when he took Joshua so quickly. I wonder how the parents of the kids we see on TV that are at the sides of there dying children at Saint Judes and other hospitals cope.

God Bless you and Gary, and I pray that when the time comes, you will be filled with inner peace and Gary will be taken softly on the wings of the angels.

Lara

 

[dreammountainminis]

Charlene,

Our hearts are breaking for you and as I have said before I am everyday loosing my dad a little bit do to parkinsons but I cherish every hour minute and second and day that we have left together ,I just pray when it comes to him passing on I will be as brave as you have been . I absolutely admire you ....I also put my imagination to work and made this for you ,,I hope you ,nana and family all like it.... With continued prayers for you , gary and family. Take care and god bless...