My Mom Passed Away

[Valerie]

I just got back from Salem, OR, I spent the past week and a half down there with my Dad & family.

My Mom had a massive stroke on 11-13 and Ken & drove like madmen down to Salem, I did make it to the hospital & did get to say goodbye to my Mother, although she was braindead by then, "intercranial bleeding", I guess the blood filled up the brainstem and there was nothing they could do to save her. My brother from Eastern OR also made it over, my Mom, even in a coma was a trooper and all 7 of us kids got to say our goodbyes to her. My mom passed away peacefully on 11-14 at 7:20 in the morning.

My mother was a twin and her twin sister passed away in January, of the same type of stroke, except the opposite side of the brain was affected. I won't go into the whole mess of donating a body to a certain school of medicine in Portland, because they were not kind, and the rejected the body (but only after they asked the height & weight) not before, it was fine before. Long story and they were quite cold, so we found another place that was very happy to be able to use skin, bones, etc, so we did get to honor Mom's wish to be able to help others if she could.

We (some of us kids & Dad) have had some strange things happening since Mom passed away, I think she is trying to comfort us in her own way, but it's just so hard right now.

Now I am back at home & sad as can be, atleast down in Salem I was helping my Dad with things and now I am home and just at a loss. I think it's going to hit me hardest now because I kept busy down in Salem with arrangements etc. I think I just need to hide in a corner & just grieve for myself right now, since I now can have a little time to myself.

Anyway, for those of you that have lost loved ones, I am truly sorry, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through up to this point and nothing can prepare anyone for the late night phone calls with awful news. Hugs to you all that have had a tough year, this is a year that I sure would vote to do over & change some things, but hindsight is 20/20.

Thanks for letting me share, my Mom was a wonderful Mom and grandmother & wife and a heck of a cook, and hopefully some of us girls have picked up a thing or two from her, and most importantly, she is who I got my love of horses from.

I will say this also, my niece who is now 16, plays the viola and she played my Mom's favorite song at Mom's funeral, the strange thing is my niece had just upgraded to a new viola the weekend before & my Mom told Cara she would have to play Mom's favorite song at her funeral. Of course none of us thought that would be just a week later.

My niece also played "Amazing Grace" as a solo and that was when we all broke down & cried, it was just so beautiful to hear.

Well, I feel another waves of tears about to start, so I will sign off for now.

Thanks for letting me share.

Valerie

 

[Bluebell]

So sorry to hear your news. Yes it is so hard to loose our Mom's. It sounds like you had a good relationship with her and for that you will have some wonderful memories.

 

[nootka]

Aww, Valerie, I'm so sorry for this loss to you and your family.

I know it's so hard to think of, now, but she is not completely gone from you nor will she ever be.

This will continue to be a part of your life, this grief/loss, but it will also be tempered with love and joyous memories, as she wants it to be.

Please know my thoughts are with you and if you want to talk, I'm here.

Liz M.

 

[Jill]

{{{Valerie}}}

I don't know what to say, other than that I am so sorry -- and that doesn't feel like nearly enough.

 

[txminipinto]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I can't even begin to imagine. I can share that I have had similar "strange" things happen when a loved one close to me has passed. I've always taken comfort in these events and choose to believe it is them comforting me from the other side.

 

[stormo41]

so sorry for your loss

-Vanessa

 

[shane]

oh my god! im so so sorry Valerie :no: you must be devastated.......

Anyway, for those of you that have lost loved ones, I am truly sorry, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through up to this point and nothing can prepare anyone for the late night phone calls with awful news. Hugs to you all that have had a tough year, this is a year that I sure would vote to do over & change some things, but hindsight is 20/20.

so true................

what we wouldnt give for.........five miniutes more........

{{{{{{{{tight tight hugs for you}}}}}}}}}}}}}this is so sad, :no:

 

[Irish Hills Farm]

Sorry to hear about your mother's passing. I will light a candle for her and you and your family tonight.

 

[Mona]

:no: Oh Valerie, I am in tears reading your post. I am so terribly sorry, and I can fell the pain in your typed words. I have not lost my Mother yet, and I do think of it at times, and wonder how on earth I will cope with her loss when the time comes, if she goes before me. I hate to even imagine it. (((((HUGS))))) to you, in this extra hard time in your life.

 

[Sunny]

Valerie, I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother. I lost mine five years ago this month, and it's very difficult sometimes, even now. Especially when I want to share some really good news or something....... My heart breaks for you. My sincere sympathy goes out to you and your family.

 

[GMAMINIS]

I AM VERY SORRY TO HERE YOU LOST YOUR MOM, YOU WILL BE IN MY THOUGHTS.

 

[Miniv]

We (some of us kids & Dad) have had some strange things happening since Mom passed away, I think she is trying to comfort us in her own way, but it's just so hard right now.

Valerie

Valerie,

Sending lots of best wishes and sympathy during this rough time you're in. There's nothing like losing your mom, when there was that special bond there......I know.

If you feel comfortable about it, I would like to hear about the "strange happenings" (in a PM?) because I think I know what you are talking about.

Your mother IS close by........Love is eternal.

Blessings,

MA

 

[AppyLover2]

Valerie, I'd like to share something I read the other day. Maybe it will help ease the pain.

"Perhaps they are not stars in the sky,

but rather openings where our loved ones shine down

to let us know they are happy."

 

[Sonya]

I am so very sorry. My deapest condolences to you and your family...

(((BIG HUGS)))

 

[MBhorses]

We are so sad by your loss. We will be praying for you and your family. It sounds like you and your mother were close. Your mother will always be in your HEART. I lost my grandmother two years ago it was very very hard for us, it was harder for my grandmother for daughters including my mother. I would be loss without my mom and dad. We will have you all in our taughts.MAY GOD BE WITH YOU DURING THIS TIME.

take care,

melissa

 

[Lisa-Ruff N Tuff Minis]

I am so very sorry for your loss. I wish I had words to comfort you and make it all better

 

[Westwood Farms]

I lost my mama in Feb. 1998. She was only 57. I know what you are going through, and I am deeply sorry for you and your family. I have never really gotten over loosing mama, It is just better with time. Things will get easier. With the holidays, for the first few anyway, I would think oh , Mama would like this, or enjoy that. So, I tried not to dwell on the fact she was not there, only That she could (and still can )see everything.

I understand about your odd things, also. I had several with Mama. They have never been explained,and I just believe it was her telling us we would be ok.

Again, I am so sorry. Remember she is in a better place!!

 

[Marylou]

My sympathies on the loss of your Mother. She is still with you in spirit though.

:

 

[FoRebel]

My condolences to you Valerie. I know how hard it is to lose a family member

Hang in there... Time may not heal all but it does get easier as time passes.

 

[minih]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I am fortunate enough to still have my Mom, but my Dad passed away in 98. It is very hard, and you will always have times when grief will overtake you, but you will also remember and laugh about the good times and it will help some with healing. <<<hugs>>>