My mom's not being very supportive!

[FoRebel]

Wow! I honestly have to agree with just about every post; you're lucky that you're riding at all!

I worked my butt off to have the horse I had when I was younger. I put every single cent of my paychecks towards her board, vet care, farrier and everything else that my mare needed; I never complained once about it. I never had a free ride! When I got my second horse I was 18 and busted my butt working at the barn AND a second job to make ends meet so I could care for both my mare and my gelding; all the while I was going to college full time! I really wanted to ride western pleasure but neither of my horses were cut out for it. I ran games with my mare (she was an arab) and rode my gelding (he was a TB) simply as a trail horse. Almost 3 years ago I had to make the decision as both of them had come to the end of their lives within 3 months of each other. I ended up paying for them to be cremated. Now, I'm thankful that my mom made me pay for the horses as it gave me a sense of accomplishment and responsibility!

It's about wanting what you have and not having what you want! I am a mom now and I have 2 boys. If they came to me and sounded as ungrateful as you; they'd have the horse and tack taken from them and sold! IMO, I think you need to settle down and think about things rationally. Maybe if you had to pay for everything and your mother wasn't as supportive as she has been; you'd have more appreciation for her! Like Marty said, mothers are not magicians and cannot pull rabbits out of hats all the time! The economy sucks big time right now... Be grateful for what you have as you could have nothing!

 

[Lil' Horse Lover]

I think you should just calm down and realize how lucky you are to be riding at all! Or to even be able to be around horses. There are SO many kids out there who would just love to BE AROUND, PET a horse, heck probably even just sit and WATCH a horse. Not saying this to be mean or anything, its just I think that especially these days we are taking too many things for granted and aren't just content and thankful for what we have.

I got to show a couple times when I was younger, nothing big, just in local open shows. I LOVED showing, and would LOVE to show again and would LOVE to get into more showing and travel to all the big shows. But my family has never and probably will never be able to afford it and they aren't in to showing. I haven't been able to show in years and my parents aren't really into showing so they don't support me doing it. But you know what, I am SO THANKFUL that I even have one horse that I can ride and I know I'm blessed to be able to do the trail riding that I can. Don't get me wrong I would LOVE to show, even if it was just in a halter or liberty class or whatever, even if all I could show in was one class in a show I would be happy, but my parents aren't a fan of showing so I can't. But I'm not the least bit upset with them for not supporting me. I just think of all the other kids and people who would love to even own a horse or be around one and will never get the chance. I am tremendously blessed and try to share my horses with as many people as I can.

All I'm saying is instead of ranting on about what you don't have, be grateful for what you DO have.

 

[Celtic Hill Farm]

I hear what 'yall saying. And im acutally aplying to two jobs next week, i just have to fill out the applications and hand them in. I know that showing isn't what it is all about, but i work and ride at a barn that show all summer long, Paint, Pinto, Quarter horse, Open/schooling shows. We do everything, and i just kind of go and groom for them, and i have a blast. every one has there 10 thousand dollor Quarter horses or Warmbloods. And i had a 31 year old OTTB. Like I LOVED my horse, He was worth the world to me. I loved him, he did so much for me, taught me so much. And now that he is gone it's just diffrent... like i have the donkeys, i love my donkeys, and i work with them just about every day. But it's not the same as having your own horse. And being able to ride your own horse. Like i appreciatet he riding time i have, but I hate riding with other people, and some one telling me what to do and how to do it. Even though it is there horse. i just want to ride the way i want to ride and have fun, and i know you can't really do that with some one else's horse, because they might be diffrent then the way you are used to.

So yea, i talked to my mom, and told her how i felt. She just think's its rediculous that i want to ride and show when i don't have a horse. and i explained to her how i felt, and that i thought she didn't like me riding saddleseat for what ever reason, and she said she dosn't care what i ride, she said i could ride a Zebra and she wouldn't care. She said that when we Sell the house, i get a job, and (something else), then she would be a loyal supporter... So it really boils down to the house getting sold! Anyone want a house on a lake??? lol. Yea... Ehhhh... Like its hard not having another Horse, like i had him in my life for so long, and it's weird not having another one. I don't want to Replace Jason, because no horse can replace him. But i just want to 'fill' the space that jason left...dose that make sense?

 

[Bess Kelly]

After I read this a couple weeks ago, whenever it began, I went to CraigsList. There are some horses on there that are inexpensive or free. While I rode for years, I don't now own a riding horse -- and I even wanted to call on some!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With the current economy, many, many horses are having to be rehomed by their loving owners. Yes, I said LOVING owners!!!! Your mom has her priorities straight. You have "wants" and while you may be able to earn them financially, you will still need to consider the real priorities of life. This is why many of the LOVING owners have to part with their animals, for the animals own good.

I am confident that you will be able to find a compatible animal when the time is right. Patience will be a necessity -- as will saving the $ you earn for the next several months until the time is right to be able to purchase and support this horse. Please, do not place a horse that a loving owner has heartbreakingly had to sell into a situation that is not stable. Think of the seller and the horse and do them both the justice they seek and deserve. Life is not about instant gratification but it is about undertanding, committment and love.

Your last post sounds like you are beginning to realize some of this and hopefully you will develop the patience you need to get you through this anxiety in your life. Stop stressing and develop a plan to be able to make YOUR dreams a reality. Maturity and patience -- save these posts and let us know how things are going later in the summer. I am wishing you the best, as I was your age once and loved the ground upon which ANY horse had trod -- I got a horse at 12, had to sell in a yr as we were overseas (military) and the next one I got when I was 27!!!!!!!! I now own 40 minis, having sold my last riding horses many yrs ago (no time to ride). Maturity and patience -- I hope you don't have to wait as long as I but, I can assure you that a love like this does not leave you and it will happen for you. Best Wishes!

 

[mydaddysjag]

I'm glad that you took the mature route about this and sat down with mom and talked it over. I had a good idea that it wasn't mom just not being supportive of a new discipline, but concerned about the financial difficulties it may bring. Even if she wouldn't have said that, it would have been my guess. Parents don't like to burden their children with unneeded stress, and it can be embarrassing i'm sure heck, my mom didn't didn't discuss financial things regarding her life until I was married.

I know not having your own riding horse can be hard. I showed riding horses up until 2 years ago, and just recently re homed my riding horse. I wasn't riding her much anymore, Im focusing more on the minis, and she wasn't happy not being shown, so I made the best choice for her and myself , and found her a home with some family friends. That gave me the ability to bring a new mini into my life and hopefully he will be here by the end of the month if all goes as planned. Is he a replacement for Josie? not a chance, theres NO horse in the entire world that can fill Josie's shoes, or be as special to me as she was. Do I feel guilty that a small part of the reason Josie was rehomed was so I could get a new mini to show? I feel terrible about it, however I justify it that I was planning to rehome Josie before I ever planned to get a new mini. It just happens to be that I'm now financially able to bring a new mini home, and I actually have the time to show again. She hasn't even been sold for 2 weeks yet and I miss her. Shes still at the same barn for the time being, but shes not mine, and it kills me every time I see her.

Do you have room at home for another horse, or would you need to board your horse? Is it the upfront money for a horse thats not there, or the upkeep?

The reason I ask is that sometimes you can find free leases on horses (I free leased my mare out for a year, I paid EVERYTHING except for the show fee's, heck I even paid for her to be hauled to the shows) and I didn't dictate how she was ridden, she was old enough and well trained enough that her training wasn't going to be screwed up by being ridden differently than how I rode her. I DID however dictate that she was kept at the same boarding stable (I was paying the board, and did not want her leaving the farm, however she was at a show barn with an indoor arena, so it wasn't bad for the person leasing her) I also dictated things that I felt were normal ownership responsibilities, like proper grooming, bathing and clipping before shows(not body clipping, just bridle, ears, fetlocks, muzzle) and I did help teach the person a few things. Not that I was dictating how they did it, they just did not know how to do things like showmanship, or how to properly apply her boots for barrel racing.

I think its not always so much that people dictate how you ride, but you knowing that it is not your horse, you don't have a say so in its major care, and people are AFRAID to become emotionally attached. I know I was, I rode Josie as a lesson horse for a year before I bought her, and didn't become emotionally attached to her until she was mine, and I'm still having a hard time trying to detach myself from her, because she is no longer mine, and I dont want to step on toes.

 

[ruffian]

Sooo - it appears that this has gone from wanting to ride saddleseat to having your own horse, which IMO is completely different. You want to buy a replacement horse. That is a whole different situation. The cheapest part of having a horse is buying the horse. I can completely agree with your mom's feelings that she can't swing that right now.

"but I hate riding with other people, and some one telling me what to do and how to do it. Even though it is there horse. i just want to ride the way i want to ride"

At your age in your shoes I would have gotten down on my knees and thanked the person who allowed me to ride their horse, and done exactly what they wanted. My folks had no interest and no friends for me to work for with horses. So I got my first horse 2 years after marriage.

If I were you I'd be deliriously happy with having the chance to work around horses, and ride other people's horses, and thank mom to letting you do that and supporting you that way.