O.C.E.A.N.S. Symptoms (no cure)

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Bess Kelly

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:new_shocked: A friend shared this research with me.....and I want to offer it to you for consideration. Just in case it's needed.

Living with O.C.E.A.N. Syndrome

By

Scooter Grubb

Just recently, after years of research, I have finally

been able to give a name to what my wife and I have

been living with for years.

It's an affliction, for sure, which when undiagnosed

and misunderstood can devastate and literally tear a

family apart. Very little is known about O.C.E.A.N.

Syndrome. But it is my hope this article will generate

interest from researchers involved in the equine and

psychological sciences. You will, no doubt, begin to

identify similar symptoms in your own family and

hopefully now be able to cope.

Obsessive Compulsive Equine Attachment Neurosis

Syndrome (O.C.E.A.N.S) is usually found in the female

and can manifest itself anytime from birth to the

golden years. Symptoms may appear any time and may

even go dormant in the late teens, but the syndrome

frequently re-emerges in later years.

Symptoms vary widely in both number and degree of

severity. Allow me to share some examples which are

most prominent in our home.

The afflicted individual:

1. Can smell moldy hay at ten paces, but can't

tell whether milk has gone bad until it turns chunky.

2. Finds the occasional "Buck and Toot" session

hugely entertaining, but severely chastises her

husband for similar antics.

3. Will spend hours cleaning and conditioning her

tack, but wants to eat on paper plates so there are no

dishes.

4. Considers equine gaseous excretions a

fragrance.

5. Enjoys mucking out four stalls twice a day,

but insists on having a housekeeper mop the kitchen

floor once a week.

6. Will spend an hour combing and trimming an

equine mane, but wears a baseball cap so she doesn't

waste time brushing her own hair.

7. Will dig through manure piles daily looking

for worms, but does not fish.

8. Will not hesitate to administer a rectal exam

up to her shoulder, but finds cleaning out the

Thanksgiving turkey cavity for dressing quite

repulsive.

9. By memory can mix eight different supplements

in the correct proportions, but can't make macaroni

and cheese that isn't soupy.

10. Twice a week will spend an hour scrubbing

algae from the water tanks, but has a problem cleaning

lasagna out of the casserole dish.

11. Will pick a horse's nose, and call it

cleaning, but becomes verbally violent when her

husband picks his.

12. Can sit through a four-hour session of a

ground work clinic, but unable to make it through a

half-hour episode of Cops.

The spouse of an afflicted victim:

1. Must come to terms with the fact there is no

cure, and only slightly effective treatments. The

syndrome may be genetic or caused by the inhaling of

manure particles which, I propose, have an adverse

effect on female hormones.

2. Must adjust the family budget to include

equine items - hay, veterinarian services, farrier

services, riding boots and clothes, supplements, tack,

equine masseuse and acupuncturist - as well as the

(mandatory) equine spiritual guide, etc. Once you have

identified a monthly figure, never look at it again.

Doing so will cause tightness in your chest, nausea

and occasional diarrhea.

3. Must realize that your spouse has no control

over this affliction. More often than not, she will

deny a problem even exists as denial is common.

4. Must form a support group. You need to know

you're not alone - and there's no shame in admitting

your wife has a problem. My support group, for

instance, involves men who truly enjoy Harley

Davidsons, four-day weekends and lots of scotch. Most

times, she is unaware that I am even gone, until the

precise moment she needs help getting a 50-pound bag

of grain out of the truck.

Now you can better see how O.C.E.A.N.S. affects

countless households in this country and abroad. It

knows no racial, ethnic or religious boundaries. It is

a syndrome that will be difficult to treat because

those most affected are in denial and therefore, not

interested in a cure.

So, I am taking it upon myself to be constantly

diligent in my research in order to pass along

information to make it easier for caretakers to cope

on a day to day basis.
 
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: Love it!! :aktion033: :aktion033:
 
I laughed so loud I startled my dogs! The buck and toot session I agree is much more entetaining with my horses than when hubby does it. :bgrin
 
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YIPEE! Now I know what it's called!

The only one I don't have is the digging for worms and not fishing.....why waste a good worm? :bgrin
 
That is cute!!! :risa_suelos: I called hubby in here and read it to him. :bgrin
 
That was good! :aktion033: Yup, I got that really bad!
 
I am copying this and mailing it to all my horsey friends! Thanks!
 
LOL I need to print this for my boyfriend. my horse is out on lease right now, so he doesn't know what he is in for in the future! :lol:
 
:risa_suelos: :bgrin :bgrin :bgrin :bgrin :bgrin :bgrin hahahaha so THATS WHAT ITS CALLED LOL, YOU HIT THE NAIL RIGHT ON THE HEAD!!!!!!! :aktion033: :aktion033:
 
Oh yeah, got that bad here. Good thing that my hubby is used to my "sickness", lol!! Very cute!
 
Clearly, MY days are numbered!!! I've got it really bad!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:

I tell my husband all the time that I don't mind putting my hands pretty much anywhere in or around a horse, but cleaning the kitchen and bathroom (and the toilet :smileypuke: ) make my skin crawl!!

I think I'll make a special trip into town to get ink for my printer just so I can print this off! Thanks for posting it!
 
I'm SOOOO afflicted
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: :aktion033: .

That has a lot of truth in it and is very funny. My hubby will agree I have the sickness!
 

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