AppyLover2
Well-Known Member
1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it
turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class,
because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be
stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for
littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. One hat said to the
other: "You stay here; I'll go on a head."
13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the
Grass."
14. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.
15. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now
a seasoned veteran.
16. A backward poet writes inverse.
17. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's
your count that votes.
18. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
19. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
20. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other
and says "Dam!"
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, Sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger."
22. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a
fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you
can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
23. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies, 'Yes, I'm
positive."
24. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a
root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
25. A person sent ten puns to friends with the hope that at least
one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it
turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class,
because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be
stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for
littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are
looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack. One hat said to the
other: "You stay here; I'll go on a head."
13. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the
Grass."
14. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.
15. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now
a seasoned veteran.
16. A backward poet writes inverse.
17. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's
your count that votes.
18. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
19. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.
20. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other
and says "Dam!"
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The
stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, Sir, only one carrion
allowed per passenger."
22. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a
fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you
can't have your kayak and heat it, too.
23. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron."
The other says "Are you sure?" The first replies, 'Yes, I'm
positive."
24. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a
root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
25. A person sent ten puns to friends with the hope that at least
one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
