SOOOO TICKED OFF

[Taylor Jo]

My stepdaughter watched my mare, Velvet while I was at Nationals while I was gone so my husband wouldn't have to. They have 6 horses. She "assured" me she would be fine and would leave her in the barn. I said fine, BUT leave her in the barn. Well she took it upon "herself" to let her out in one of her pastures near her horses. My horse decided to break out of the fence and in doing that she scratched her self all up.

Now she's a "Show Horse" and when I mean scratched up I mean scratched up, like welts scratches. I went over there to pick her up and was HORRIFIED. She's got these HUGE scratches DEEP on her chest, front legs, down them, down her side belly down her back legs, then she let one of her horses BITE my horse and she's got 2 huge bites out of her back...... These are NOT superficial wounds either their RAISED WELT like scratches. IF she scars that means she can't show as she's a HALTER SHOW HORSE.

I'm so peeved I can't see straight. She apologized but it was a NOT sincere apology it sounded like. Her comment was "YOUR HORSE DOESN'T RESPECT FENCES"

1. She's away from home. 2. She's 2 1/2. 3. She's seperated from your horses and in a strange place. 4. I TOLD YOU NOT TO PUT HER OUT..........

I wrote her and told her I was upset and I didn't hear anything back. I was afraid to say something for fear of loosing my temper. I'm just so upset I want to strangle them and they act like oh well..... They don't seem to understand, I HAVE A LOT OF MONEY TIED UP IN THIS HORSE. AND that's beside the point I told her to keep the horse in the barn.

Well thanks for letting me vent.

TJ

 

[RockRiverTiff]

I'm so peeved I can't see straight. She apologized but it was a NOT sincere apology it sounded like. Her comment was "YOUR HORSE DOESN'T RESPECT FENCES"

Man, I feel your pain (and your poor mare's)! The line above is just ridiculous and would have put me over the edge. Clearly your stepdaughter doesn't respect clear instructions--does that mean she should be run through a fence and bitten?

 

[miniwhinny74]

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this on top if everything else going on in your life right now. Plus, it only adds to your anger (I'm sure) that she doesn't even GET IT.

I just hope that everything heals up nicely and that there are no scars are left. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you!

 

[Taylor Jo]

Yea, it's ALL the horses fault. NOT HERS. Thanks for understanding. I DIDN'T NEED IT. Plus, we have family coming at the end of the month and she's trying to run the show and trying to get everyone to stay at her place which is WAY out of the way. So we'll see less of them IF they'd stay in a hotel near OUR town we'd see more of them but NO she wants to run it all and have everyone come stay there and come see HER....... Just aggravates me. It's ALL about coming and seeing THEIR DAD NOT HER.......

I just heard from her. It's ALL my fault. She ONLY does it to help her dad. They will refuse to "volunteer" to help me anymore as I "have" to high of standards. AND they won't let my granddaughters go with me anywhere any more. I told her that was NOT fair that was playing dirty.......... TJ

 

[Kim]

Aw, sorry to hear that - how frustrating. If you're worried about scarring for showing purposes, there is this stuff that I use that is great, and I find it does help minimize scarring. It is called DermaGel and I just love it. You might want to try it out if you don't have something in mind already.

http://www.derma-gel.com/

 

[Taylor Jo]

Aw, sorry to hear that - how frustrating. If you're worried about scarring for showing purposes, there is this stuff that I use that is great, and I find it does help minimize scarring. It is called DermaGel and I just love it. You might want to try it out if you don't have something in mind already.
http://www.derma-gel.com/

Gee, thanks Kim, NO I didn't have anything in mind. I'll get some thanks. Oh your a life saver. I'll order it after dinner. Here's a HUGE HUG!!!!!! TJ

 

[disneyhorse]

If this helps at all...

Scars should not affect a horses' placing. Most judges will overlook "pasture dings".

I had a mini gelding, as a weanling he ripped off half of his heel bulb in his rear hoof... and it didn't grow back. Big old scar. But he placed just fine at Nationals in halter and went on to be National Grand Champion in driving.

Have had quite a few horses with decent sized scars, never hurt their placings a bit.

Most scars will diminish with time, so please don't fret and obsess.

Sorry about your situation though.

Andrea

 

[miniwhinny]

Taylor Jo,

this may not be what you want to hear but I just read your other post where folks are asking about your husband and seriously....NONE of this matters...NONE OF IT...your husband has lung cancer and from what you describe he sounds like he is not doing well. Don't get me wrong...I'm very sorry that this has happened to your mare but GF you have way more important things going on right now. I know you get comfort from your horses but I bet your hubby needs you as much as you need them. I hope more than anything that you don't loose him but should something terrible happen...make the most of every second you have now because your horses will always be here after.

I lost my Dad as few years ago and I sacrificed everything to spend as much time as I could with him - I'll never regret the time I spent with him and I know that it's time I can never ever recapture.

My heart is breaking for you both

(((((HUGS)))))

 

[Frankie]

This can not be an easy time for any one. Maybe the daughter is wanting to have the family over because she really feels like she is doing it for her dad. She may feel helpless, but feels she has to do something, and this is it. Maybe some how the family could do both, depending on how long they are staying.

In this kind of situation, both sides should bite the bullet, so it is easier on your husband, and the grandkids.

I hope your mare has a good recovery, and like others have said, should not affect her show career.

Best of luck

 

[Taylor Jo]

Thanks all, I agree. I don't need this in my life right now. Trust me. My husband is #1 in my life. My step daughter wrote me off, she said she was burning bridges with me. I reached out and gave her to olive branch and told her I loved her and her family and my heart was broken. But none of that mattered. She said that "they" did it all for their dad and they "really" didn't like me as they'd just been doing it for him. My heart is breaking and I'm here in Missouri with NO OTHER family and I know only women in my bible study on Weds. I have one friend in Arkansas but that's 3 hrs away. I just have my cell phone for my family and friends , email and you guy's.

I'm glad to know that they over look pasture scars. Whew....... Thanks all, TJ

 

[miniwhinny]

TJ,

love on yourself and your hubby. Be kind to everyone else - you can't control their behavior, so just be the kindest person you can be to help them through this and if nothing else - it'll end any tension and you'll be able to cope better.

From what everyone says your horse will be fine so put her out of your mind.

I know that you are so stressed at the moment that you don't know if up is up. It isn't going to get easier...I say that as someone who cares and who knows what you are going to go through. PLEASE contact an organization like hospice. Never give up hope of your hubby beating this but get help for now. Hospice are equipped to deal with these situations and have just as many resources to help YOU as they do to help your hubby...if your hubby isn't in need of hospice ( and I really hope he isn't ) they will know how to help YOU...and I know from your posts that you need help coping with this.

We love you. Little things are going to become mountains so come here and vent whenever you need and hopefully there will be enough of us that care to hug, yell and enchourage you.

Love and hugs.

 

[Taylor Jo]

TJ,
love on yourself and your hubby. Be kind to everyone else - you can't control their behavior, so just be the kindest person you can be to help them through this and if nothing else - it'll end any tension and you'll be able to cope better.

From what everyone says your horse will be fine so put her out of your mind.

I know that you are so stressed at the moment that you don't know if up is up. It isn't going to get easier...I say that as someone who cares and who knows what you are going to go through. PLEASE contact an organization like hospice. Never give up hope of your hubby beating this but get help for now. Hospice are equipped to deal with these situations and have just as many resources to help YOU as they do to help your hubby...if your hubby isn't in need of hospice ( and I really hope he isn't ) they will know how to help YOU...and I know from your posts that you need help coping with this.

We love you. Little things are going to become mountains so come here and vent whenever you need and hopefully there will be enough of us that care to hug, yell and enchourage you.

Love and hugs.

Thank you miniwhinny God Bless you. I will contact hospice Monday and see if they can help. Yes I could use their help. I feel so alone in all this. I'll also talk to my sister about it she works for hospice. Thanks so much to all of you, I'm so glad I reached out and said something. My heart is so broken over my stepdaughter and her family treating me so awful and this with my husband I feel so helpless. Thanks for listening.

TJ

 

[loveminis]

With your stepdaughter - give it time. Maybe she is showing her true colors, or maybe she is so upset about her Dad and cant cope with it.

I understand about your horse, she is your baby, unfortunately bad things can happen so now you need to take good care of the wounds and hope for the best.

I am just so sad about your husband, spend as much time with him as you can if possible so you have no regrets.

 

[SampleMM]

Hi TJ, I am sorry that your mare got hurt. Some people just can't seem to follow directions which is why I haven't been able to leave my horses for the past three years. Although, this year I asked my cousin to take care of my animals while we went to Florida for two weeks and she took excellent care of everyone. I couldn't have done it any better myself. Just keep the wounds cleaned and I'm sure she'll heal up fine.

I am praying for you and your husband. This has got to be a very scary time for you. I hope that his family can be supportive but at stressful times like this many families start to fight.

Hopefully the daughter in law will not keep the grandkids from you, that's just wrong.

Also, a big congratulations on your wins at Nationals. You go girl!!!!

 

[AppyLover2]

TJ it probably wouldn't be a bad thing if the family visitors stayed with someone else. Company, no matter who they are, is always an added burden. It would probably be best for both you and your husband if they were only there for a few hours a day rather than 24/7. IMHO your daughter in law is doing you a favor....whether she realizes it or not.

 

[Taylor Jo]

AppyLover2 The family were "suppose" to stay in motels near US, not at her house. But if she like you said wants to accomadate all them then fine, let her have at it. I was just hoping they'd be a bit closer to their dad so they'd come over more and visit instead of at her house. It happened the same thing when his daughter came to visit she stayed there and when the other daughter came over here she costantly called, it was VERY annoying. Today I got an apology from her, of course it was "after" she went through all her reasons but I did get an apology and sincere one. She asked me to forgive her and I told her there was never any forgness involved, I just wanted to speak up and you in turn say your sorry and it was sincere and we move on, not blow it all out of porportion like it's gotten. So we'll see, it may take awhile. Not exactly want to rush back into the relationship that's for sure. My feelings were really hurt that someone could be that cold and spiteful.

Thanks everyone for your input. I hope she doesn't keep my granddaughters away. I love them dearly. I was going to ask if I could take them to pick up Polly in Kentucky but it's obvious that won't happen. I'll have a 7 hr trip by myself. I think that is the day my husband gets told what kind of cancer he has too. SIGH........... Then I pick her up Sat.

 

[RockRiverTiff]

I just wanted to say, after seeing your other thread, that I had no idea and I am so sorry if my comment was insensitive to everything else that is going on. In light of the circumstances, I am sure you are both emotionally charged right now. I still think she is in the wrong in this situation, but I am so glad she gave you a sincere apology today and that you are moving forward from this. I can't imagine why she would keep your granddaughters away; I think in the spur of the moment she just pulled out the big guns on that one. I hope your trip goes well, and if you've got a little too much to think about while driving alone, why not try a book on CD? I will be praying for you guys.

 

[Taylor Jo]

I just wanted to say, after seeing your other thread, that I had no idea and I am so sorry if my comment was insensitive to everything else that is going on. In light of the circumstances, I am sure you are both emotionally charged right now. I still think she is in the wrong in this situation, but I am so glad she gave you a sincere apology today and that you are moving forward from this. I can't imagine why she would keep your granddaughters away; I think in the spur of the moment she just pulled out the big guns on that one. I hope your trip goes well, and if you've got a little too much to think about while driving alone, why not try a book on CD? I will be praying for you guys.

I didn't take it as insensitive at all. Don't worry about it. I didn't take offense. Well I "think" she's NOT going to let them go w/ me anywhere do to a fenderbender I got into and the girls told their mother I told them to lie and say not to tell her. WHICH I DID NOT...... I did apologize for not calling her right away, but I had a lot on my mind and the girls were begging me not to tell cause they knew their mother would NEVER let them go w/ me again. Which their probably right. I'm not going to ask. I think that's a wonderful idea to get a book on CD. I'll do that when we come back from the DR. and I head out. That will be great company. Thanks I appreciate that. I better get lots of rest. The day I'm suppose to go is the day my husband hears from the Dr his diagnosis. SIGH.................. TJ

 

[HGFarm]

TJ, sent you a PM but I'll post here as others may want to use the idea also.

Years ago, when living on the ranch, we had no fencing but barbed wire and between that and the cactus and the every day lumps and bumps that horses can get, we found that plain old Vaseline works great, and if you really want to cut down on proud flesh or scarring, dump as much Farnam Wonder Dust in it as you can and mix it in with your fingers or whatever, to make a thick black paste.

The hair seems to grow back in twice as fast as usual, and the hair does not turn white, like it does usually with wire cuts, etc.....

If we had a goopy or wet open wound, we used the Wonder Dust just as a plain powder on the wound until it had a scab, then went to the mixed ointment above.

Keep in mind, our horses were not only our work horses, but went to shows on weekends, etc... and didnt want scars, etc... I ALWAYS keep the ingredients on hand, though I have not had to use it in years. (No barbed wire on my place!!)