Sorry guys, I really need a shoulder to cry on.

[Marty]

Sorry no words of wisdom.

But you know the truth, you did the right thing.

Here's my famous last words I learned from my father:

"Take a stand and stay there"

You may be shunned for it, but you stood up for what is right.

 

[Matt73]

I just really need to talk about what happened tonight, as I have been crying for about an hr now.. I know you guys remember my sister with her drug problem.. Well she did get fired from her drs. office she worked for. I prayed that would wake her up. No such case.. I only have my dad, as mom died 5 yrs ago. My sister still lives at home with dad.. And he has had 4 strokes and is 79, so his mind isn't the same..

Well I noticed last night she sounded "off" again. She called my son this morning when i was at work, and he picked up on it.. So I tried calling all evening to see when Easter dinner is tomorrow and to hear how bad she was. No answer. So I hopped in the car and went to see her. She was really messed up again. My dad was in taking his bath.(The night she overdosed, dad said she was fine and just sleeping, but she was almost not breathing, so that is how much my dad can't see it) So I told her it was the drugs or us and if she wasn't better by tomorrow, that my kids do not need to see her like that, that we would stay home.. I was so mad when I left..

I called my older sister and told her that if Lora didn't straighten out, that we wouldn't be at dad's. So the older sister took it upon herself to call 911.. So when the police came, my dad called me and Fth me out..(I was out in the barn with the mini's and didn't even hear the call and had no idea what the oldest sister did..) He said that she was fine, he was tired of me starting trouble and said he didn't want anything to do with me anymore.. MY oldest sister called, not me.. And now, she is lying and saying I told her to do it.. So now, everyone isn't talking to me, and I didn't even do anything. I am not asking for pitty, just really need to get this off of my chest.. My dad is so important to me, as he is all I have left.. And now, he doesn't want to even see me. I know he means it too, because he is very unforgiving.. Hubby has to work tomorrow, so I will be here with the kids by myself.. I don't even have a ham or anything to make us a dinner.. Hubby won't let me go to Walmart to get one, as he says I am to much of a mess to go anywhere. And I can't tomorrow, he will have the car at work.. My in laws are in Fla., so we can't even go there.. This will be a bad Easter for the kids..

NO Grandparents, or family.. Just me and hubby.. So sorry to ramble on, but I have been fighting off a panic attack, and thought it would help to talk about it to someone..

What can I do to make it a little better for the kids?? My son is 13 and is so fed up with my sister.. And now, I will probably have to quit my job, as I now have no one to watch the kids for me.. Happy Easter to me..

Wow! I am going through almost the exact same thing...although I'm not quite at the same point as you. With me it's my brother and alcohol and my enabling mother. Won't get into it all here, this is your thread.

You're better off without them both for now; they are toxic and delusional. That said, it's sad for the kids that they can't be with family for Easter. Hang in there!

 

[angle ridge]

Dear Jodie.

All these people are right. You have your family. The rest is extra. Your going through the hard part now. the seperation. and you can do it. Go to the movies with YOUR family and enjoy them. They need and want you. Go forward with the husband and kids. Get the neighbor to watch the kids. Don't quit on your self because of your sisters or dad. When they see you going forward with your family and not them. they will come to grips then. If you don't talk to them or see them for a year. thats good. If and when your dad has a problem with his health, he just might call you first. Tell your dad you love him, but you and your family can't and won't handle anymore drama. And stand to it....

Everyone here is for you. you can do it. And your not alone, Big HUGS, and stay strong.

(Your better then they are) Is what keeps me going...

 

[MiniforFaith]

HI everyone, I just want you all to know how all of your posts have helped me out..THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE FOR lit' ol me..

My dad called me before 7 am this morning. The sisters really had him going for awhile, but then, he told me he knows his little girl, and knows that they are very very wrong.. I will be taking the kids to see him when the stoner is at work(she found another job) He had a drs. appt today and I took him to it and we were able to talk about everything. He gave me a hug and a kiss(he isn't a very sentimental father) so it really meant alot..

He told me off all the lies and I told him what was the truth and he finally sees it.. So I will not go around/ and or let the kids be around the wonderful sisters but we will set up arrangments for dad.. Some of the things that were said where so hurtful and yet so childish.. I can never understand how someone can let their life be ruined by drugs..

My only problem is not having anyone to watch the kids if Paul and have to work at the same time. I can see where I work from my house. Jamie is 13 and Faith will be 7 in May. The longest I am gone is 5 hrs at a time. I think Jamie would do fine, but Paul doesn't think he is old enough. Then he brought up what if something was to happen and no parents where home, would we get in trouble for neglect or leaving them alone?? I know when I was 13 I was babysitting 3 kids, one was a 6 month old. But times have changed so much.. So, I think we should just give Jamie a try.. Pauls hrs aren't like they use to be, so my extra income helps and i just got a raise.. What do you think??

Thanks again to everyone, you guys are my only family, so sorry to break it to you OH! No, I am just greatful that there are so many caring people just a click away..

 

[FoRebel]

Jamie is old enough hun to watch Faith. Especially if you're that close to home! I'm glad you and your dad got to talk and he sees what's going on now! HUGS!!!!!

 

[angle ridge]

I'm glad to here the good news. I think your son will do fine. reward them for being alone.

good luck.

 

[Magic]

I'm so glad that your Dad sees the truth!

I also agree that Jamie is old enough to watch his little sister. The responsibility will likely do him a lot of good!

Practice talking him through different scenarios so that he will be prepared (does he open the door to a stranger? etc). So happy for you that this is turning out ok (except for the sisters thing, sorry).

 

[SunQuest]

You are doing the right things. You MUST take care of your children first, and that means not exposing them to the abuses that your family have. And honestly, your children would rather have a quiet peaceful Easter with their parents than an Easter that was full of termoil due to the rest of the family. And I am glad that you worked out a way to be with your father without exposing your children to the issues. Sounds like your father understands that you are worried about your children first and that he also is not totally blind to the antics of your siblings. I bet that your father just feels trapped and he is hoping that if he loves his children enough that they will fix themselves.

As for your son, he is old enough to start watching his sister if she is of school age. I know that I was a "latch key kid" and when I was 9 I was watching my 7 year old sister. I had orders to call my mom as soon as we got home and to call immediately if anything was ever in question. We also were ordered to come home and lock the doors and not leave the house until my parents got home. And my parents didn't work anywhere in sight of the home. They were at least a 1/2 hour away from us.

It sounds like you have a good neighbor. Talk with your neighbor and ask them if they would mind if your son contacts them if he has any questions, assuming that she is home during the day. This would give your son someone else to check in with if he was worried.

The only thing I wish my parents would have done is to be able to pay me a slight allowance to watch my sister as she really was a hassle! LOL. Anyway, if you can afford it, make it more like a special job and less like a chore for your son. By giving him the responsibility backed by a small reward, he may do much better at being attentive to his sister.

Hugs and keep up the terrific job you are doing as a parent!

 

[AppyLover2]

Jodie I'm sure you know that it's much easier to blame other people for the messes we make in our life....so much easier to place the blame somewhere (anywhere) else than to accept responsibility for our own actions. To me, that's what your sisters have done. They're blaming you and if they can get your Dad to blame you too......so much the better for them.

I can relate because my sister and I haven't spoken since Thanksgiving. Same kind of turmoil....without the drug issue....but it's something I've chosen not to have to deal with every time we're together. Like someone said....you've taken a stand, now the hardest part is sticking with it.

I agree that your son is old enough (and, since you're considering it, mature enough) to take care of his sister. I would certainly recommend payment of some kind though as you're asking him to take on a job that I'm sure most big brothers would rather not have. He can do it.....just make the reward worth the responsibility. I'll even go a step further and recommend that when you discuss it with him you ask him what he thinks is fair compensation.

I'm really glad you and your Dad had a chance to talk things out. I know that must have lifted a heavy load from your shoulders.

Stay strong. Hug your mini's....but don't forget to hug hubby and the kids too.