Teenage Angst...Just Bear With Me While I Vent

[Ferrah]

I am 19 years old and I am trying to enjoy my last (*sniff*) year of being a teenager.

Since all my friends are out of town, I figured I need to tell someone! So here we are.

So, I want to get out the last of my teenage angst and hopefully I can get some advice from those of you wiser than me!

I have a huge crush on this guy at work (lets call him Ty) who also happens to be one of the many managers where I work. He is almost exactly the same age as I am.

We like almost all the same things, and he is incredibly nice, good hearted and and the same sense of humor as I do. When we work together we spend most it laughing and making fun of each other (a LOT).

EVERYONE at work knows (without me telling them) that I really like this Ty. But so far I have no been able to say anything to him at all. Ty and I talk about anything and everything, and we know each other as well as you can get to know somebody at work, except I can't seem to get it out.

I have this intense (and justified!) fear of rejection which is why I have said nothing for so long! In High School I was every guys best friend (I had mostly all guy frtiends), but nobodys girl friend. Everytime I had a crush on a guy and admitted it the following happened:

1. He wasn't interested, we were too good of friends

2. He is gay (happened THREE times)

3. He has a crush on my best friend

This all has happened more times than I can count. Anyways I think my doom has been self fulfilling. I can't possibly see how Ty could be interested at all if all those other guys before him were also not interested. I'm not very pretty, and I'm not all that thin either. The only thing I have going for me is a good sense of humor. I use laughter and humor and "fake" confidence to mask what a shockingly low self esteem I have.

It makes how I feel for Ty all the more harder because I don't want to say anything because of my fear of rejection, and I also know that his feeling the same way about me is a remote possibility considering he could do much better (looking) than I.

If all else fails, I still have my horses. I can be the crazy horse lady instead of the crazy cat lady.

 

[lilhorseladie]

I have a fear of rejection, but just what if he is waiting for you to show interest? How much quality time will you give up if it could have been? Slip him a card or letter...who knows you may be holding hands before next weekend. If not, horses never reject you. That is why I have 8

 

[minimama]

You are still so young and you have so much time ahead of you in your life for all that guy stuff, enjoy the friendship. Those are harder to come by than boyfriends. And boyfriends can be replaced, true friends can't.

 

[PrestigeMiniHorses]

Trust me here I'm a year older than you are...I married last year when I was 19. Guys are always going to be around, make what you want most out of life first and then squeeze the guy in. My hubby is horse stupid but he's learning. I am grateful for that. However, I haven't been able to go back to college since I have been married...So yeah just take things slow...Anyhow as far as letting this guy know that you like him..try the card thing...its always the simple things that show someone how you really feel abou them..Hope that works..

 

[jacks'thunder]

I agree with minimama! :aktion033: Enjoy the friendship and the laughing! Guys are a dime a dozen. Why muddy a work place up with romance!

: Yuck!! Keep it fun!! I always had guys as friends, very seldum girls, and to tell you the truth what I remember most is all the fun friend things we all did together!! Also look at it this way..... If it's ment to be he'll make the first move!!! My theory was if he likes me he'll let me know!! LOL!!!

:

Just my opinion! Good Luck Hon!

Leya

 

[Marty]

I'm going to address this fear of rejection thing you have going on ...........LOOSE IT

GET OVER IT

Going through life, you are going to be just like the rest of us, being rejected left and right over many things. Nobody likes it, but it's a fact of life.

It can be a job that you wanted, or geting fired from a job for no good reason, dumped by guys, dumped by girls, .......you name it.........you will be rejected. So you have to get over that real quick. You are 19, and entering the grown up world now and you must be prepared to take the best with the worst and don't get all out of sorts over it, everytime you feel you have been rejected. I've gotten so used to that, it's like water rolling off a duck's back. Don't get hurt. Don't get crazy. Don't get all down and out. Just deal with it and move along.

As far as the guy, Ty.....why not just suggest to him that maybe you can go out for lunch or something easy like that sometime and see what his reponse is? If he says no thank you, or anything negative, well ok then...... it didn't work out. But you won't know until you ask.

 

[Miniv]

I agree with all of the above posts......in general. Don't be afraid of that teenie tiny little word -- "no". It's going to come up a lot in your life and it never kills you. You just learn to deal with it.

Marty brought up one of my favorite phrases about dealing with the negatives in life......"Be a Duck".... Let it just roll off your back and paddle off in a new direction.......There are always better ponds (men/situations, etc.) to explore!

However, you need to take those chances so you CAN explore! NEVER allow that silly little "no" word to be a roadblock in your life.

Just my 2 cents,

MA

 

[PaintedPromiseRanch]

Ferrah, i hear you, and i have been there. it has been almost 30 years and i still cringe at the memories... screwed up ALL my courage and asked a guy to dance once, at a high school dance - he just looked at me like i was a cockroach crawling out of the corner, turned his back and walked away without a word. just typing this now i feel like throwing up. it took me a while but i learned, NO ONE HAS THE RIGHT TO MAKE YOU FEEL THAT WAY. if they don't like you, it's THEIR problem, NOT YOURS. so like Marty said, let it slide. anyone who treats another human being like that is not worth your time or attention. if you want to see what happens with this guy, ask. or, just enjoy the friendship and roll with it and see what happens in its own time. either way, you have know that at least YOU don't treat other people in a way that would make them feel like you feel. if you can say that, you can look yourself in the mirror, and sleep at night with a clear conscience.

and like so many have said, men are plentiful. don't settle, believe me i did and lived to highly regret it!! the right man will come along and when he does you will be so glad that you waited for him.

good luck to ya sweetie!!

 

[Ferrah]

Thanks everyone.

I'm just going to go with it. I'd rather have him as a friend than nothing at all.

Love you guys!

Ferrah