What are your thought, please?

[Bassett]

I have a wonderful neighbor and friend who has a beautiful thoroughbred horse. Destiny is a high strung horse and because of lack of association with her owner has gone backward for a time. Friend has MS and is in a wheel chair. She can stand and walk for very short periods of time, with a walker. Hard but doable. Several people have made very rude comments and suggestions that SHE cannot have anything to do with the horse because she can't handle her or do things with her without getting hurt. I have taken her up to see Destiny twice now and I find the horse to be very enjoyable, I love Destiny.

Yesterday my friend was actually combing Destiny with a little protection from me. I plan on taking her at least once a week and possibly twice (40 miles). My question is: I'd like opinions please. Can she have an association with Destiny. This horse is her heart, her life, her everything? I personally feel she should push forward very hard. The horse just needs lots of love and tlc. Most people are scared of her but I can walk right up to her and she has fully accepted me. I have no fear of her and I have NEVER been around big horses. EVER. I am very respectful of her moves and actions. I so want my friend to have the interaction with the horse she had before her health started going bad for her. I know she can do it but people have tried to convince her she can't do it because she is handicapped. What do you think? Replies will be so appreciated. Thanks all. Know we can all count on this wonderful forum.

 

[Jill]

Oh, gosh, Bonnie! This is a hard one.

In my mind's eye, I can see how seriously I could have been hurt by my big horses at one point in time if I wasn't not fully physically capable.

Is there any chance your friend will come over to the small side? Does she have any interest in getting a miniature horse, or spending time with minis and seeing how awesome they are?

I bet I'm not the only one here who first thought that they couldn't enjoy minis as much as biggies only to find out that we enjoy them even more.

 

[Jacki Loomis]

I'm a HUGE fan of horse racing so I love thoroughbred horses and can understand your friends connection to this horse. I mean no judgement against this horse but it seems like this lady could have a great relationship with a small equine, pony or miniature. Is there a pony or miniature you could introduce her to? See if she could have this same type of bond with another animal that would be safe for her to be around and a bit easier for her to be independent with?

Best of luck with this, you are a good friend to try to help her and for considering her well being while helping her enjoy life.

Jacki Loomis

[email protected]

 

[ErikaS.]

Tough question. I had a thoroghbred, a relatively calm one, whom I adored

but I decided to give him up and keep my mini when I found I was pregnant. My TB needed more time and exercise than I would be able to give him for a long time. Your friend's horse may need more attention than she can give her. On the other hand, I work for a lady with MS and I can see your friend NEEDS someone or something to take care of and get her up and out of her house. I think she needs a horse...not necessarily a mini, maybe an older "therapy- type" horse that on a really good day maybe she could sit on. Granted, I don't know anything about your friend, whether she could go into remission ever. My lady is wheelchair bound, 90 yrs old, and has no desire to leave her house. Long story short, I think your friend SHOULD have a horse, but maybe not that one.

 

[Marty]

Hi Bonnie your friend has a handicap and you can't downplay it. The people that made the rude comments should have been more kind the way they spoke to her, but I feel they are very correct that she cannot handle Destiny

any longer and it is too dangerous to encourage it. As you put it "push forward very hard" I very much disagree with you as you would be the one to put her in harm's way and you know you don't want that. Yes she can have a relationship with her horse, across the fence that is, where she is safe. When push comes to shove, even if the horse was very well mannered and trained to the hilt, she cannot get out of his way in a split second if needbe. Its nice of you to bring her out there, you are a good friend. Take her some carrots, let her feed him across the fence and talk to him that way. Destiny still knows her and her voice. What this gal needs is a nice miniature who will fulfill her love of the equine. CMHR has some incredible therapy horses out there who make home visits and nursing home visits but none in your area unfortunatly that I know of; but something along those lines would be appropriate.

 

[~Lisa~]

My answer is yes and yes again especially if you will be there when she is with the horse

I am not sure why there is such fear of big horses yes they can hurt you but guess what so can a mini.

Many horses just like many dogs can sense when a person is "special needs" or very young or otherwise needs special treatment.

There are T/B's being used all over the country in theraputic programs.

Both of my girls learned to ride on 17 hand T/B's and were riding by the age of 4 or so jumping (tiny little x's and caveletties) by 4.

Our last T/B was a bit hot and high strung but he was wonderful with Raven when we got him his head was literally the size of her little body. He was a different animal the second you handed the lead to her. He would lower his head walk super super slow follow her everywhere. Stand and wait for her when she got distracted and dropped the lead to go chase a butterfly or look at a rock lol. He was a totally different horse for her riding as well he knew she needed special attention and I think he really liked taking care of her.

I think if this horse is her love then taking it away could do more damage. My health is not good (not as bad as your friend yet) and there are days I can not really function well however that said I do whatever it takes to get out and feed the horses and spend time with them. Some days it is not grooming some days I take a lawn chair and just sit with them. Nothing makes you feel better then a nuzzle from your horse. They seem to know when I am having a bad day yesterday was such a day and instead of running in to the barn from the pasture..2 of them waited while I leaned on them to walk to the barn letting everyone else pass them by. I think if a bond is there the horses really do their best to take care of the owner.

I think it is very kind of you to be willing to drive her the 40 miles to go see the horse and I think if you are right there with her it is not bad could something happen yes it could but as a horse person myself you can bet it is a risk I would be willing to take.

Can she lease the horse or allow someone else to ride or work her? So that the horse is getting her needs met and so is your friend? At most boarding stables there is always a few teens who are horse crazy and willing to clean stalls or whatever to get to ride. OFten there are trainers who are willing to put a bit of work into a horse to take horses into their lesson plans

Maybe being a little creative you can find something that works for both horse and owner.

 

[Katiean]

I would suggest a small horse for her. I had a TB gelding that came from the track. He was relatively calm. However, there were times that the slightest thing would set him off. He is the one that damaged my neck and made my first neck surgery necessary. It would just be a tone or a word that would make this horse go nuts. Not that he was a bad horse. Because he wasn't. There were just things in his past that I had no knowledge of. With a handicap this could be a disaster waiting to happen.

 

[love_casper]

One of the closest bonds I've ever had with any animal was an OTTB. I want my own some day. I can understand your friend's connection. But it sounds like this horse needs at least soomebody to work with her, riding as often as possible. If you could get the best of both worlds, where the horse gets exercised and the person can still visit but stay out of harm's way, that would be awesome.

 

[Jill]

I just wanted to chime in to clarify that my opinion wasn't based on the breed of horse, but the size. You can find very high strung TB's and ones that are sane. I didn't really factor in my opinion that TB's are a hotter type of horse. My opinion is just based on knowing that the only TRULY predictable horse is one made by Breyer. Think how easily horses, creatures of flight, are startled... Even one that has been exercised regularly, has manners reinforced, and handled daily. That's where I'm coming from on this subject.

 

[Sterling]

Bonnie, you are such a sweetheart. Whatever you both decide to do, bless you for just being there for this lady.

 

[Ashley]

I would say yes if she is not left alone with the horse. Maybe you could find somebody to do a on site lease of the horse. Then she would get worked and not be so high strung but your frien would still get to enjoy her. I have a horse here who is old, but with an adult rider is very high strung and wants to go go go. But a kid or somebody not as capable, he knows and bearly wants to walk.

 

[Bassett]

I want to thank you all so much for your comments, some of which I wasn't exactly happy with, but I certainly respect all your opinions and where you are coming from. We are going up to see Destiny again today. We will be JUST socializing with her for quite a while yet. By the way there is ALWAYS a barrier between Destiny and us. Both in her stall and outside. It is too soon to give up on her yet so we will take it very slowly for a while. The last thing my friend wants is for anyone to get hurt. As for a mini, she wanted to get one for a friend for Destiny, but I told her it was not a good idea so she has put that idea aside. Although she does like minis.

Who wouldn't?

Thanks all. Love you guys.

:wub:wub:wub

 

[Bunnylady]

I have a wonderful neighbor and friend who has a beautiful thoroughbred horse. Destiny is a high strung horse. Most people are scared of her but I can walk right up to her and she has fully accepted me. I have no fear of her and I have NEVER been around big horses. I so want my friend to have the interaction with the horse she had before her health started going bad for her. I know she can do it but people have tried to convince her she can't do it because she is handicapped.

I guess the question here really is, is it irresponsible of you to encourage her to be around something that could so easily injure her? I don't think so. A horse can be dangerous to someone that has no mobility issues too. For her, it isn't about just any horse, or she'd find a more convenient way to get her "horse fix." She loves this horse.

I say, it's her life. You are clearly aware of the risks, and are doing what you can to keep you both safe. She could very easily get injured in a traffic accident, but has anyone told her not to get into cars?

You say a lot of the people that know this horse are scared of her. I don't know if this really reflects on the horse, or the people. The TB's of my acquaintance have mostly been very sensitive animals, almost uncanny in their ability to "read" and respond to their handlers. Kind of a "the chicken or the egg" situation, I can't say whether the horse is that spooky, or are they just spooking her?

One thing that really bothers me, is the way some people seem to assume that anyone that isn't fully mobile is also mentally deficient. Unless your neighbor is delusional, she knows what she can't do. Life has robbed her of so much, it seems cruel to deny her access to an animal she loves. Helping her to explore her options is one thing, but to dismiss her feelings and tell her she can't is impertinent and downright rude. She will decide whether Destiny is too much for her, and what is fair for her and the horse. Unless she has become mentally incompetent, family and friends' role is to support her, not tear her down. Kudos to you for being a caring friend!

 

[Molly's Run Minis]

i dont know a whole lot about throroughbreds and their temperaments, i only know about drafts and minis but i have a little story for you about a draft and a girl that i saw happen at a fair, nearly had a heart attack over it but still its amazing.

my parents were talking to some other people that were there to do horse pulling and they had two teams there. one team was like a pair of puppies, head in your lap, begging for attention and so loveable. one horse in the other team was like that as well, but his partner was the exact oppisite. he was bought at an auction and was very fearful. everything scared him and he wasnt afraid to defend himself if he thought he had to. anyway, this couple that owned these horses had a 3yr old little girl who loved the horses and was playing in the dirt not far away. we all got to talking about horses and no one was paying attention. a few seconds later we hear a huge gasp from the mans wife and, lo and behold, the unsupervised little girl was under auction horse's stomache. a few minutes earlier he had been kicking at a bee that was going after his stomache and i saw it flying around and him twiching. i thought "oh my god he's gonna kick and thats gonna be it" but nope, he pinned his ears but he never moved. he put his head down so he could see her and he never moved. the girl sat there playing in the sand until the man slowly walked up and went to grab his daughter. auction horse pinned his ears and bared his teeth at the man, almost as if he was protecting the little girl under him. he would not allow the man to get his daughter, even going so far as to lift his leg and kick out softly, ears pinned, always keeping his eye on the girl and careful to avoid her. eventually the mother, who had practicly just come out of shock, got the girls favorite toy and showed it to her. the little girl stood up, walked between the horse's back legs and ran to her toy, he never moved until he saw her mother pick her up, then he turned quickly and started acting back to normal. the man got a handful of treats and brought them to auction horse, who ate them and the mother gave the horse some grass and thanked him. i cant remember the horse's name but i sure remember his amazing actions. horses are extremely intellegent animals and can sense when someone is small or fragile and they choose how to react. i think, as long as you watch her and dont push your luck that she could do it, but that all depends on the horse. good luck!!