Sorry to hear, It sounds like the new husband demanded the change of her.
I would recommend calling a local divorce attorney and asking if you can file for visitation rights with them of some kind. If not, see if you can file for visitation on your sons behalf and force her to bring them for supervised visit and you can attend it too.......short of that you would have to work it out with her.
I agree the new guy probably began the denials. You know "I'm supporting them...he's not a good influence, etc" may be at play. You don't know for certain but it seems no coincidence.
IMO you should have lunch with her, no kids or boyfriend, and talk honestly about missing the children and wanting to have some visitation. Don't bring up the attorney unless you find a total impass. You should be able to see them and the judges normally agree with that fact. Dad isn't a good example right now, I'm CERTAIN you agree -- but, he is their dad and should be granted some communication and visitation. If he's not going to be out for a while, there could be a situation she would bring up about not seeing him until he does and while I agree with the fact, it is also just as much of a lesson in life that you do wrong & illegal things and you pay the consequences. Both dad & children will survive and will see why the cause (DUI) is not what should be done or repeated. If she is still against visits, ask the judge for counseling for the children to evaluate their concerns about the "whole thing -- jail, visits, lack of visits, seeing grandparents, etc". The DIL could probably benefit from such counseling, also.
Attorney, judge ordered visits, counseling, etc. may be your only alternative. Do it if that is it. Don't miss
out on your grandchildren!!! Be sure to call them regularly, send pictures, notes, cards, etc. KEEP the contact. Arrange for them to visit with family outings, etc., as they did before. It's so needed now.
I'm so sorry you are having to go through this and I wish you the very, very best results. You are in my prayers. You keep on being there for those grandkids.
As a divorced mom I can remember taking my two children to visit their grandparents AND their dad. It wasn't apparently important to him. But I knew it was important for my children to have that contact and know that I did what was right to keep them communicating. As adults, they relate that they remember dad didn't show up, etc. (he did call every single week, often several times -- not the same as in prson however). While they have less than good feelings about his not being there in person more often, they do know their dad and his very large family and attend family outings, etc. -- so, it was worth all the effort for me.
