When you lose track of horses you've sold....

[weebiscuit]

Early last summer I sold three horses to a person in Ohio. Another miniature horse breeder. She promised to keep in touch and keep me up-to-date on how the horses are doing, and I've gotten nothing! After they were delivered I received two emails and one pic was attached. She said she was very happy with them and they were all doing well, and she'd keep me updated. Since then I have sent her repeated emails asking how they are doing and have never received an answer. The stallion she bought was my favorite horse. A real sweetheart and a character, and I would never have sold him except we simply had to downsize due to a lot of issues with family members' health problems, etc.

Should I just put the horses out of my mind, tell myself they are fine, and move on? Am I being unreasonable to expect to hear from her when I send emails asking how the horses are? It's not like I want weekly or even monthly updates. But it's been nine months and I haven't heard anything, even though I've asked for her to please just drop a line and let me know the horses are OK.

I realize they aren't mine any more. They are hers. And maybe I'm way out of line for sort of expecting her to just let me know they're ok. I know they aren't any of my business any more, but when I buy a horse from someone I constantly keep them updated for as long as they want. i want the seller to rest assured that their baby has a loving, safe, and happy home with me. I guess I was wanting the same.

So, tell me... should I just shrug it off? Am I being out of line? Should I not send another email? (I've actually only sent maybe five of them over the last 6 months). I just want to know those horses are doing OK!

 

[MindyLee]

I always wonder about mine I sell too. But never ever hear from their owners either.

I do have a mare that I got and did keep in tuch with her previous owner BUT reciently stopped after 3 yrs cause she rubbed me the wrong way. She told folks and to me that she wished she never sold me the mare cause I didnt feed her enough back in 2010. This mare got into a very poisions plant that almost killed her PLUS had a 1 month old foal on her side. The mare lost 40% of her body weight in about 3 weeks. I had 2 vets involved and hundreds of dollars wrapped up in it. She really offened me and got kinda snippity with me so I just stopped talking back with her. I still get emails every once in awhile, and if Im in a good mood I email back, but most times I just junk her emails cause Im still not happy of how she treated me when I was dealing with the possibilty that I could have lost my mare. I had enough stress with that and all she did was add to it by running her mouth cause she didnt believe me.

 

[Farina]

It is the same with me. We don't sell any horses,but we have bought some.

I always stay in touch as long as the previous owner likes. But last year I bought to horses and the former owner got snippy too. She got me all wrong and so she decided that she won't talk tome anymore. This is the one and only time it happened tme at all.

But I believe this is sad, because I like to let the former owner how "their" horses are doing. For me they are my family and I would do nothing with them I wouldn't do myself. I want to believe that this is the same with the former owner.

Some contacts just faded away after some time i.e. for changing email adresses without noticing me. But end oflast year a former owner of one gelding of mine and asked for some pics. I haven't been in touch with her for years due to a change in email adresses. And she gt some pictures of him.

I would like to add that I don't like to send out pics of dirty horses. And at us the weather in autumn, winter and sprng can be kindof nasty and the horses just don't look to their best. Perhaps it would be best to contact her in summer and ask forpics again. Perhaps then she will have theopprtunity tomake some nice.

 

[billiethekid40]

Just a thought but was the sale made using e-mail contact or phone? Maybe she has changed e-mail providers or stopped using the internet for some reason. Maybe try giving her a call? I don't find it unreasonable at allto be wondering how they are doing!

 

[Jill]

Ideally, when I've sold a horse, we keep in touch but it doesn't always work that way. I guess the bottom line is, once you sell the horse, it's out of your hands. Some people aren't as social or as friendly as others and just don't want to keep in touch, or don't like to email, etc. It sounds like in this situation, it would be better for you to move on...

Over the years, I have lost track of some buyers, and others have turned into friends. It's not good to dwell on the situations you cannot change, but I understand how you feel and am sure a lot of others here do, too.

 

[stellabella]

Well I guess I will reply as a horse purchaser... I purchased a mare last fall and sent her previous owners an update for Christmas, including pictures. They were thrilled to hear how she was. This week I came across the discovery that she looks like she may be bred(Which I was not aware of when i bought her). Now I can not get ahold of the owners at all. :/ I guess it goes both ways...... I would just like to know if she was ever in contact with a stud. Going to the vets tomorrow to get an answer so we can be prepared if need be.

 

[dgrminis]

Anytime I sell a horse I tell the new owners I love to be updated and love to hear about the horses but seems like some just do not like to keep in touch... There have been a couple buyers that have been great about updating me every 6 months or so or telling me when they have done well in a local show or been somewhere exciting (nursing home, feed store, pre-school day, etc.) I have also gotten the occasional out of the blue e-mails 3 years later when a yearling I sold had her first foal. So I appreciate the people that go above and beyond to keep me informed... I do miss out on hearing about the ones that people do not want to keep in touch and I will occasionally drop an e-mail just to ask how they are doing and how the horses are, etc. But find that in most cases the people that do not keep in contact don't respond to them... I understand how you feel in this situation and I would say that if you want to you can occasionally still e-mail -- (maybe every 6 months or so) and just say you were wondering how they were etc. If they answer that is great and if not then you will just have to hope that the horses are being well taken care of and try not to let it bother you (I know easier said than done)...

 

[weebiscuit]

I appreciate everyone's input. My first contacts with the purchaser were by email and then by phone. After she'd had the horses about three weeks she sent me a pic and told me she was just thrilled with them. They were all super nice horses, very calm, easy to handle, great for farriers, etc. She was actually the first one to mention that she would keep me updated and stay in touch, and then she never did.

I suppose it's possible that she got a new email address. I guess I could look at the contract for her phone number and call her, but I don't want to "intrude" in that way. I thought an email would be less instrusive. But in reality, I guess I have to let it go. It's just that I had those horses for many years, and they were all special to me. It about killed me to have to sell them, but I felt they were going to an excellent home. I hope that still holds true.

I sold a fourth horse last year to a lady in Michigan, and she and I stay in regular contact and have become good friends... talking about our families, jobs, communities, and more... not just the horse I sold her. It's kind of nice, really!

 

[2minis4us]

I think it's nice to form a bond with a person you sell to or buy from, unfortunately sometimes you just can't click. Also after a certain point of time it's hard to stay in touch and you shouldn't take it as a bad thing. The new-ness wears off and people go on with their lives.

 

[KanoasDestiny]

I've only bought two horses (from the same seller). I used to update her every couple months, or when I took a cute picture, or when I had questions or concerns. As the years have gone by, I've started contacting her less and less. Now I send her an email with updates and photos every six months or so. I guess it's because I don't really have anything new to say, other then I still own them. I don't show, or do much with the horses other then spoil them. Perhaps alot of buyers feel the same, but I don't know why they wouldnt respond back to your emails unless maybe they no longer own the horses?

 

[jyuukai]

I have the opposite problem! I lost track of my seller! I used to email her monthly, sometimes more, to tell her how we were doing with our baby and how great she was. Well before the mare's first birthday she stopped returning my emails and I noticed her website was taken down. I've seen her horses scattered all over so I assume she got out of the business.

It makes me a bit sad, the filly we bought from her is amazing and she's more 'colored' than the breeder thought! I know she'd be excited to see it and I hope she'd be proud of how well the filly she bred has done, but she won't ever know

 

[weebiscuit]

Perhaps alot of buyers feel the same, but I don't know why they wouldnt respond back to your emails unless maybe they no longer own the horses?

That's what I keep wondering about. That stallion I sold her was a $4000 stallion and I sold him for $700, because she promised me he'd have a "forever" home there, and I had no choice but to reduce my herd way down due to serious family illnesses. I guess that when you sell a horse, it's just out of your hands, though. Even if she resold the stallion, just letting me know he went to a good home and is loved would be OK.

 

[wantminimore]

I bought a big horse last year from this lady whose 7 yr old daughter was riding and not once has she got in touch with me to ask how he is doing. I just can't imagine not checking in on him because he is a very sweet horse and if it had been me selling him, i'd want to know.

 

[Marsha Cassada]

I borrowed a horse from a local woman for 3 months. I had lost one of mine, was too traumatized to buy yet, but needed a "project horse". The lady was happy for me to take her boy, as he was wild as a March hare and she had no time to work with any of her horses. I taught him to load in a trailer, lead, had his feet trimmed 2 times, paid for an equine dentist, bought his feed, and wormed him. Not once did she call to ask about him or stop by to see if I was really taking care of him. I called HER twice, once to get permission for the dental work, and once to tell her I was returning him.

It was a mutual benefit arrangement, as my horse needed a companion and I needed the therapy, but it amazed me that she loaned one of her horses out and then never bothered to check on his well being.

 

[MindyLee]

Today while I was at work (I work at TSC), I ran into a 12 yr old kid that I sold my 2010 filly too. He said shes doing awesome and he loves her so much. He also told me that he got her a new friend, a bigger pony and that shes fat a spoiled. He told me that next time he comes in the store, he'll bring pics of her for me!

Thats great!!!

 

[Norah]

I sold 2 horses to a woman last summer . She seemed honest and didnt have a lot of money but promised to take really good care of my horses and show them with her children. I made a contract that she could never sell those mares unless it was back to me .. To make a long short short I still lost track of them . I believe she gave them away as she never sent photos as she promised but instead , a man that I did not sell the horses to sometimes sends photos . There was an agreement that she would not be bred because she had patella issues ... The man that has her harvests embryos . I had to just let go and pretend them area have died ... As thinking about what happend and the dishonesty hurts too much . My suggestion is to walk away , and try very hard to forget , as painful as it will be for you . I am sorry for your loss

 

[Riverrose28]

Guilt is a horrable demon, sometimes I wake up at night and have such guilt over so and so that was sold and I've lost track of. Hubby keeps telling me it's a business, get over it, well sometimes you just never get over it. Breeding and selling, yes, it's abusiness, but does it need to be so cruel? I try to take his advice and look at it from a business point of view, but it certainly doesn't make it any easier.

 

[Norah]

Riverrose , i agree . I have nights where I dont sleep wondering if my horses are ok , warm enough , getting the proper nutrition , have shelter from sun and cold . and the worry and guilt will eat you alive . The more you think of "what " could be happening , the worse the senario gets . You just have to forgive yourself for making a mistake , and go on , look at the horses you do have , and do your best for them . Buyers lie so they can get that pony of yours , they know what to say , and how to manipulate ... its just the way it is sometimes . Not all of them do that , but enough do . Its not your fault if you feel you were manipulated . Keep your chin up , it happens to us all.

 

[Farina]

The problem with guilt is, if you lost track you just don't know for sure. Perhaps the horse is well cared for but your mind is playing tricks and you have the magination of horror scenes. You just don't know for sure. I believe that there is purpose in live and there are many very nice horse loving people out there.

I believe that every person is reasonable if adressed in a well mannered way so I would try to contact them from time to time again.

 

[wildoak]

I love keeping up with horses I've sold, but sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. And I think after a period of time, communication usually slows down unless you are/have become friends as well. If they have kept up with you, you have a track record and know how your horse is being taken care of...

Jan