2 year old daughter. Stubborn or spoiled?

[Diamondinmypocket]

So Claire ( a gift to an "unable to get pregnant anymore" mom) is 27 months now. She is smart, talented, fearless, very self assured, and hot tempered. Her dad and I are both as stubborn as a steel wall. She got her dads sense of humor, and her moms perfectness (LOL) She really is a wonderful baby.

She is my 3rd. My second child was close to 9 when she came along. So I was done with diapers when she came. And she is driving me nuts! Well everyone actually. We have addressed potty training starting around 6 months ago. Offered her any potty she wanted, and panties... Nope she always refused. So Santa brought her a simple potty chair and Dora panties. I did exactly what I did with my first two. Put them in non diaper underware, let them learn how nasty the mess was if they didnt go in the potty, rewarded, done in 2 days, no bed wetting at 18 months. Claire knows the differences in functions, will remove her diaper at sleeptime, hold it, get up, do the potty dance untill she gets the diaper. Refuses offers of potty. Put the doll, lovey, cup, basketball, everything she wants has sat on her potty but her. Now in pull ups.....

And she is a picky eater... Really dislikes meat. Beans and stuff replace that. No candy or junk foor around here. Healthy snacks. But tosses her plate (rarely now) or gives it to Dakota (dog) eat it....

Uses her own language to have conversations with us in, (mostly babble) but uses words to communicate her wants and needs. She also uses words and questions correctly, such as: cookie please? NO.why or why not?

We teach her new words all day. She has abc and 1 to 10 concept down and will babble for ones she can't get.

She has stranger danger, is starting to converse with strangers, uses excuse me and thank you to strangers. Her doctor swears shes normal. I am not freaking out, but goodness it has been a long time since I have done this, and the switch into motherhood has been hard because she was such an unexpected surprise. My life is different from the "mommy" I was years ago....

Ok I think I vented enough.... Sorry

but tips on managing sanity from a mom in my shoes would be welcome....

 

[ohmt]

She sounds like a very smart girl

With the food-my mother's tactic always worked well for us. Any uneaten food gets put in the fridge and if we asked for a snack later then it got reheated. We learned to eat what we were given or go hungry and there was no way around it. I have a 5 yr old sister (yes, a very large age disparity there) and her favorite foods are now spinach and rice, and broccoli. She does her own thing too-is quite a little diva

I don't have any advice other than the food as I am not a mother, but she does sound like a smart little girl that knows how to push your buttons!

 

[Diamondinmypocket]

Diva: for sure

smart: too smart lol my oldest is a picky eater. My son eats anything I do.... Got him to try liver and frog legs lol

 

[Marty]

100% smart and normal. Carry on!

 

[Ashley]

This was how our Emma was. Challenge her mentally, you will see a difference.

 

[Diamondinmypocket]

I know all children are different, grow at different rates, I have decided to not push the potty issue. No pressure on her is the advice I got most. I think it just worries me because my oter two have the same dad. She is my new husbands child, so of course she will be different.... His other son seems the same way from what I understand. Very very smart and acts out when bored.

I do what I can to challenge her, but like I said my life as a "baby momma" was supposed to be over. My life was set, and its hard to find enough time to tend to my chores, which lucky for us she is safe outside and loves to help, we do abc's, numbers, singing, word challenges... But my poor nerves are frazzled and at the end of the day I just run out of patience, and I feel so guilty for her not getting the attention my other 2 got. As soon as my first started school, my second was here. So I was already in the mind set. My life was them. I guess the guilt is what gets me worried.. But a headstrong child can tire anyone out!

Thanks guys, I feel so much better!

 

[Miniv]

You're right every child is an individual.....and I really believe a good mom is a good manipulator. <smile>......Sometimes we have to learn the art. Sounds like you have a big job ahead of you, with a toddler so bright and smart.

I remember potty training and making it a game. When she "won", she'd be rewarded with an M&M (or two)........Some parents may frown on that, but it worked. She disliked the "baby potty" and wanted to use the grown up one with the donut seat instead.......Had to put a stool in the bathroom so she could make the climb. She rarely wanted me to help her up on it.

As for being a picky eater.......mine didn't last long with baby food. I started introducing all sorts of different things to her early on. (I tend to cook ethnic dishes.) We took her to a fish place at the coast when she was about two or three and we ordered steamed clams as an appetizer. I gave her a taste and she gobbled up almost the whole dish by herself! The one rule I insisted was that she had to try a bite of everything placed in front of her. I NEVER have done the "you have to finish your plate before dessert" thing.

BTW, she's 15 now........still head strong, but potty broke and likes unusual foods.....LOL.

 

[misty'smom]

I agree with Marty 100% normal!!

I think it a good idea not to push the potty if she is not interested right now. Maybe wait a few months and try again, they change/grow so much in such a short time. But don't worry she sounds very smart and on target!!!!!!