Thank you so much for everyones support. It is nice to know I am not alone in feeling this way.
We went to our large animal Vet at 3:30 today.. let her see Heidi, told her all her history...and she agreed it was Heidi's time. Heidi was calm.. like she knew it was her time.
New Vet took her out of the room for the shot but brought her back in, so we could be with her. Itched her,, talked to her...until she fell asleep. The Vet stayed with us, she was sooo kind and understanding. That helped a lot.
(She also knew who I was talking about with out me saying the name.) It was a peaceful passing and the right thing to do.. no matter how hard it was for us. Let my son make the choice.. to bring her home or let them...
We brough her home, made a comfy box for her to be in. And DS burried her.
I managed to hold it together for a bit..but can't seem to stop crying. It never is easy letting an animal go.
DS is doing about the same I am... he had Heidi since he was a wee nipper and has always had her in his life.. He doesn't remember a time when she wasn't there. Will be a hard adjustment.
Our two other cats.. no longer really kittens, help. They can never replace Heidi...but they in time will soften it a bit. Have to stay busy...so I was folding towels.. and of course they had to help...and let me know I wasn't folding them right. Being right in the middle of everything. Just had to hug them.
Here is Heidi...just before her down turn a couple of years ago. She will always be a beloved family member forever in our hearts.