Bonnie,
I am reading your posts and thinking and praying for you daily.
Please know that you withholding the timeframe is the right thing to do. He knows he is terminal, but no one, not a doctor, or even you knows when it will happen. There is only one that knows, and when He calls, He calls. It is all in His time.
My grandfather was given 2 to 6 months. The doctors were wrong. It was a long 2 years. But, he could have just as easily went the following week. One never knows.
Until then, you are doing everything right. There are no right or wrong things at this time when it comes to you carring for the person you love. You have a heart of gold and you will know in your heart at that time what is right. Please don't ever second guess yourself. I know you are keeping Larry comfortable, and continueing to do so and showing him your love and courage will give him the support he needs.
Also, please let Larry know that you are ok with him deciding when he is ready to go. Give Larry the permission to leave when he can not take any more. This sounds like such a small thing, but sometimes people hang on and suffer longer than they should because they are worried about the ones they leave behind. Let Larry know that you will be ok and that you will dearly miss him, but that you can make it.
As far as the DNR, go ahead and give yourself permission to sign it. It doesn't mean the end, but it means that you are not going to see him suffer a fate that is more painful than letting him go be with God. Again, it is not your decision when he should go. It is between Larry and God.
Remember, you have many people here that will listen day or night and will help at a moment's notice.
And yes, hospice is a wonderful wonderful organization. They have helped my family tremendously. They were there when we couldn't remember what we needed to do even though we kept a diary of everything so that we could even try to keep our heads screwed on straight. They were there when it was over to hold our hands, let us cry on their shoulders, and to tell us that we did a good job. They sent us cards and flowers. They were part of our small family. Our family has needed their help 2 times, and with both experiences I don't think we could have made it without them.
And Bonnie, remember, you know there is more than life on this earth. You know that Larry will be there and watching over you always. So remember, talk, laugh, enjoy the good moments. Treasure them always. And always remember that it is not goodbye, but see you later.
Love and light.
Everyone, please light and keep the candles burning...
http://www.gratefulness.org/candles/candle...ng&gi=bfogg
