Christmas not what it se to be

[Leeana]

I always gets into the christmas spirt around the end over November and then into the beginnings of december but then it hits me ....christmas stinks!.

Okay, for all you 'ohhhh my family is great' ..im sure you will in no way understand this one. I just have to vent some frustration out here.

Well when i was younger (up untill around 11 or 12) we had PERFECT christmas's. 75+ presents ...ext. That all changed.

Were not the family that puts up the christmas lights, hangs stockings. Were not putting up a tree this year, and i just found out a while ago. The past 4 or 5 year's we didnt put up one. Last year mom got out the 34' tree on the table. That was our tree and only because i begged. This year, no tree agian. I'm not expecting much really, stuff changes ..people change, whatever you know. I understand im older, but i still like to see a christmas tree. Even without gifts, just a big pretty tree ANYTHING a red light, wreife ..SOMETHING. Dad usually will give me $150 and send me off to walmart to get some clothes or whatever, i normall buy my friends there christmas presents. This year im thinking im just going to get Coco and the little ones something, i dont need anything. Im going to sleep in untill about 11am and then go down to bill's for dinner ext. Im just so mad that were not the type of family that does all this stuff like goes out to church christmas plays, hangs up lights, puts up a tree, buys presents and then opens them at the crack of dawn, sit around a fire and roast chestnut and then hug/kiss&cry for an hour about how beautiful it all is. Were not that family, mostly because my mom, dad and i dont get along at all. Im starting to not like christmas and just wishing this month was over.

Its not because we dont have money for christmas or religion (im baptist ..not jewish or whatever) ....our family just doesnt get along or can stand being with each other more then 5 minutes.

Its just depressing to see people like Marty and KayKay and all you guys out there who go all out ...and then christmas comes and its just a big heartache.

.....And i know that when i move out next year and go and life wherever down south that i wont be coming home for christmas ...and that christmas will stink down south by myself to. Then untill i get married and have kids ..its just going to stink more and more every year and then when we can have a nice beautiful christmas, im going to hate it to much to have one.

Im turning into the grinch i think!

I wish this was just all over,

Sorry, just had to vent

Leeana

 

[Marty]

Well Leanna, for your information, I"ve had to fight to get our decorations up these past two years. They are very elaborate and take a while to get them all up in place and working. It's time consuming. Jerry and the boys have said "this is the last time" for the past two years. They are just plain lazy about it. No other excuse than it cuts into the boy's "laying on the couch cartoon time" according to me. Heaven forbid they move an inch if Sponge Bob or Jimmy Neutron is on. I keep telling them that as long as I am alive, they will keep it up and when I am dead, then they still can't quit because they will have to pass it along to their kids. That is one joy that I get (usually) once a year and they could just get off their butts and move it. Heck, what's climbing up a couple of power poles anyhow?

Leanna, you don't have to have a tree to celebrate Christmas, nor do you need tons of gifts. You just need some spirit. I hear it's contageous. You don't have to mush in front of a fireplace and hug and kiss. Are you kidding me? We don't even have a fireplace, Jerry grunts in his chair everynight, the boys can't pass eachother in the hall without smacking eachother upside the head, and calling eachother stupid names like a couple of 3rd graders, and I watch Christmas movies and cry while folding laundry.

I'll tell you what I would do if I were you, and that would be to take control and sit your family down and say "HEY!" I would say that Christmas comes but once a year and this family should come together as a family and behave like one in honor of Jesus, the reason for the season. I would say that you want a tree and that you want your family to honor Christmas like you used to, and that you want it badly, and then offer to help. If you know where the decorations are, just go get them and put them up and surprise everyone. Heck, it's a no brainer to string the lights and hang a wreath on the door. Bake some cookies for everyone. Put the Christmas music on. YOU bring the spirit into the house, and see what happens. Who knows, a hug may get involved.

 

[crponies]

I'm sorry you aren't looking forward to Christmas. However, perhaps what you need is time together. Maybe you haven't been around each other enough. That probably doesn't make sense to you, but I'm quite serious. See if you can get some family time planned: watch a movie, play a board game (I always love doing that with my family), etc. You don't need a tree and presents to have an enjoyable Christmas time together as a family.

 

[Valerie]

Leeana, I tend to agree with what Marty said.....if you want to celebrate, what is stopping you?...... even if your parents don't want the house decorated, you could always decorate your own room perhaps...then you would have a nice little holiday place to go. I would also approach the topic with your parents, perhaps they would be a-ok with it, if you did help out with the decorating, etc. I know that my sisters or my nieces help my parents put their tree up....as they are aging they don't tend to want to mess with the holiday stuff too much, but we all keep them doing it.... and in the end, they seem to enjoy it. Sometimes all it takes is a good ole nudge. It's not about the $ or hte presents in our family either, it's about the holiday spirit & the fun we all have when we get together as a family...and trust me, none of us kids are spring chickens anymore....but getting together does bring out the "youngsters" in all of us. We ourselves just put up our x-mas tree today.....haven't even decorated it yet.....and we got it flocked this year, so it looks like a lovely snow covered tree in our living room.....now my husband says that lights & ornaments may ruin it....hah, do you think that is going to stop me...no way..... let the "Christmas with the Griswald's"begin"..., that will mean something to anyone who has watched "National Lampoons Christmas Vacation".....

 

[nootka]

Yep, Leeanna, now is the time to start making little traditions for yourself.

Christmas is not any ONE thing, it is a multitude of emotions that really carry through all year long, at least for me now that I've grown up a lot and realize more about life.

Anyway, if I were you, I'd go for a walk in the woods and maybe pick up some evergreen boughs and make yourself a small wreath or swag and put it in your room for the wonderful scent. Make a red bow and maybe get some pinecones to add to it.

One year, my grandma didn't want a "real" tree, so I went and found some trimmed branches left behind by the road dept. and lashed them together with wire and made an ugly little Xmas tree (was about 4' tall when it was done), then decorated it, but no way was I going to let her put up a plastic tree. *LOL* By the time it had the things on it, it was fine.

Another year, I dug up a small pine and put it in a galvanized feed tub in my room (it was about 3' tall), then took it back outside and planted it again afterwards.

My family DID Christmas, but like you, at times, my family did not like to be around each other and the feeling was quite mutual.

So I played and made glittery ornaments, and enjoyed the Christmas lights in my room.

Another thing I've discovered that really brings the joy of Christmas alive is to volunteer time or donate anything of value such as money or new toys, clothing, etc. to those less fortunate. I've always given here and there through the years, but a very special friend of mine has shown me that I can give more and still have plenty for my family and myself, and it feels really good to know how appreciated it is. It may sound like a cliche, but it helps to give selflessly and make someone else get something they might not think they will ever get, or something they don't expect. Makes ya smile for weeks. *LOL*

Please know my thoughts are with you and you will forge a happy life with your own traditions which will begin now. Don't be angry and bitter, spend your time enjoying what you can about this season. Go for a walk and look at lights, etc....

Liz M.

 

[rabbitsfizz]

My memories of Christmas's at home are AWFUL. Everyone sitting around trying to be merry- and for what??

Bah, HUMBUG!!

But you are still young enough to want, (and to need) this.

So...whats stopping you, girl??

Get you out into your Barn and you hang up the lights and you decorate the stalls to your hearts content!!

If Christmas , for you, is about the horses, then get on out there and make sure they have a Merry one.

Marty will NOT be short on ideas to give you, I am certain.

Put up some Merry Christmas (I HATE "X"-mas!!) signs on the Barn door, on the farm gate, heck if it stands still, tape or staple a "Merry Christmas" sign to it and shove some tinsel on it!!

Get reindeer antlers for the horse, annoy the heck out of Coco getting cute, "Christmassy" photos of him.

Let Angel know she has truly entered a madhouse!!

If this is to be your last Christmas as a child, you make it be a good one.

Not everyone is able to foresee something as important as that.

Good Luck, and post pictures

 

[jacks'thunder]

I agree with everyone!!! Go ahead and do it your self!!!I say stop at the dollar store and pick up some goodies for the barn. How fun! And mabey once you start decorating eveybody else will get in the mood.

Yesterday I wanted to hand the rest of my Christmas lights and had a huge fight with my hubby about it. So I decided to bundle my boy up and head out to do them by my self. You know what after a while he joined me and it turned out to be a nice day!

I wish you the best!

Merry Christmas!

Leya

 

[OhHorsePee]

I'm not putting up a tree this year either.

Just not in the mood. When the kids grew up and went out into the world on their own it changed things. Maybe it is changing things for your parents because you are growing up? It's just not the same without wee ones around. Sigh, I want grandkids!

I agree with everyone else, make some merry for yourself. I would also write a letter to your parents (one a piece) and tell them how greatful you are for past Christmas' and that you will cherish those Christmas memories most of all. Maybe it will put them in the mood?

Merry Ho!

Fran

 

[whiskeyranch]

I have no family to speak of, biologically of course. But I love Christmas. So for the 7 yrs. that I was a single mom I did my best to keep some sort of tradition for me and the kids.

Now I am married and have wonderful inlaws and all their family who celebrate. Last year I was so blessed to have them all come to my house on Christmas Eve and stay over for Christmas morning. A huge honor, in my book!

I guess I'm trying to say, that even if your family is not what you've dreamed of, then do it for yourself and eventually you will be blessed to have people around you who also want to make your traditions important. Do it for yourself and the rest will fall into place.

Make some sugar free cookies and take them to a nursing home, find out if the kids at your area school are doing a play and go see it. Or get a friend and go see a Christmas concert, (I really want to go see Trans Siberian Orchestra)

I will put your name on a card to hang on our tree, we do this so we can remember those who need our good wishes.

Happy Holidays.

 

[Sonya]

Leanna - get that little Christmas tree that your Mom put up last year and put it in your room and decorate.

Believe me - no family is the Cleavers (Leave it to Beaver - your probably to young to know who that is)...every family has problems, every one, so don't feel like your family is "weird".

Do you have a good friend whose family celebrates the holidays? Spend it with them - at least Christmas eve or something.

 

[MInx]

Leeana I've PM'd you. I hope it helps. Maxine

 

[Triggy&Blue&Daisy Too]

Awww Leanna, you can have a wonderful Christmas whereever you are and no matter how many humbugs are there. Holidays for me when I was your age were pretty rough too. My mother and aunt would be fighting like crazy while my cousins and I tried to stay as far out of the frackus as possible. They even got into a fist fight one Christmas eve and we didn't celebrate with family for a number of years after that.

I don't do decorations anymore now that the kids are grown. Our neigbors probably think we are JW and don't celebrate any holidays but I'm just not into the preparation of it anymore like when the kids were little. I tend to use the holidays as a time to reflect on their meaning and my life the previous year so things are a lot different for me at this age than they are for you at your age. I hope that holiday cheer sneaks up on you when you least expect it and you have a lovely Christmas just the way you hope it will be.

 

[mountain_waif]

....

 

[Jenn]

So what is stopping you from decorating the house yourself and making sure everyone has a beautifully wrapped gift under the tree?

Christmas is what YOU make of it. If no one else is in the Christmas spirit, do it for your own darn self. Maybe they will realize how much they missed getting into the holidays!

I have always been the biggest fan of Christmas in my family and from a very early age, I was the one to haul out the tree and decorations and coerce everyone into helping me. As an older teen, there were a few years when I was the one to do all the decorating as other people were busy in their own lives. I wrapped the gifts for everyone (except my own, my mom would wrap those), baked cookies, prepared the meals for entertaining. I think I was 13 the first time I cooked the entire Thanksgiving meal for 20+ people.

Even now, as a married woman with a baby on the way, I decorate the house with incredibly beautiful things, even if I'm the only one who will enjoy them. My husband will help if I want him to (this year he'll have to do all the ladder work, I'm too pregnant for that stuff), but it's mainly up to me to do it, and I love it. This year I am throwing a Christmas day brunch for my husband's side of the family and will have everyone over for a fabulous breakfast. It's my way of introducing a new holiday tradition to a family I didn't grow up in and you can bet I will make it unforgettable!

So you'll have to forgive me if I'm not pouring out sympathy for you. Young people these days often need to buck up and get the job done - don't wait around for other people to do what you want, or you'll be waiting for the rest of your life! Take some initiative and just do it!

 

[runamuk]

As a child we had grandma's perfect hallmark xmas........then grandma died....the house barely got decorated and it was all so sad........I have kids and darn it they want xmas....so does the hubby....he is all about the tree

well the tree is important to me as well it is 90% of my holiday...wow did the guys get a doozy it is in its stand waiting for me to string lights

this year I am getting more into the spirit than I have been in years....I am realizing that we may not have a hallmark xmas...but our very own national lampoon/tool time....comedy of error's is our tradition

go make your own traditions.........

 

[Charlotte]

Leanna, you sure aren't the only person who is in this situation during the holidays. And it's hard. I know. Been there too.

Would it be possible for you to volunteer some time with others who might need some Christmas attention? Like maybe a nursing home? Make some little treats and deliver them to the residents? You would need to call ahead and see what they allowed and what time.

Or perhaps a visit to the animal shelter and volunteering some time there....to help clean or walk dogs or comb cats.........to help the poor neglected animals who just need a little human companionship.

Try to think of some way you can help someone else.......You will suddenly feel less alone.......helping gives more back to you than you can imagine. Are you still in school? Perhaps someone there could make suggestions for you.

I'll be wishing for a good solution to this for you.

Charlotte

 

[MeadowRidge Farm]

Leanna, If I were you I would just get my butt outside and decorate with whatever you can find..once you get started you wont want to quit! Everything isnt always as ******-dorey as it seems when it comes to decorating.

We decorate ALOT, just ask Luvmycritters..I now have a new nickname because of my decorating

BUT my decorating sure dont come easy, Bob HATES to do it, and it usually ends up in a arguement because he wants to hurry and just do a few things and I want it done MY way or no way, I mean what does it take from a husband to pound a few pegs in the ground and plug the blow-ups together (we have 7)and plug them into a outlet. Well, let me tell you in our house its a MAJOR undertaking for him! My inside of the house I wouldnt even want him to touch.. ohh--he also has to-- LORD FORBID--hang lights around the house and some trees, and the garland around the patio doors. The barn decorations ..well, he can go back and watch TV while I do that , he thinks I am crazy for decorating inside the barn, but my horses have to have a decorated home too, and that is what you could be decorating, and then continue with your room. You'll get in a christmas mood and LOVE it in no time! Hope to see some pictures of what you decorated for your horses. Corinne

 

[runamuk]

YEP start in the barn.......even when I didn't decorate my house and I didn't have my own horses ....I would make and hang wreaths and make little stockings for the stalls of the horses I was a groom for........their owner loved it and I had so much fun...and I forgot until everyone started mentioning it

plus the horses love stockings filled with carrots and horsie treats on christmas morning

...do it for the horses