Cross roads

[~Dan]

Hey all,

I'm not sure if many of you will remember who I am. I've been out of the miniature horse world for a few years, but my past experience is telling me I can get some of the best advice here on the board. That being said, I would love some advice regarding the cross roads I'm at in my life.

I've reached the point in my life where selling my miniatures is a very plausible and desirable idea. I bought them when I was a young boy, and devoted my entire life to their stewardship and husbandry over the years. However, now, as a man, I've come to the point in life where it's time to move on to new things. I moved away from home, went to college, graduated, and am now beginning to develop my professional career. I've lost a great deal of interest in horses in recent years, and my yearning for new horizons is insatiable. With the funds I use for fencing, winter hay, vet costs and bedding I keep telling myself I could be using to begin investing and developing, growing wealth, using more wisely as a responsible adult, and not utilizing them as the day dreaming kid I was years ago. My dreams of a farm full of minis and other horses has shifted to dreams of world travel and climbing the corporate ladder, with a possible stint of military service. I want to experience all that life has to offer, and after spending my life as a farm boy it feels as if I can't get enough done fast enough, taking in and doing everything possible. I feel awful as I have grown so much in recent years, and the horses I once spent many hours with each day I barely see for 15 minutes three times a day to do chores and do daily checks. I still drive when I can, but they sit for the most part without much of a purpose.

I've asked many people, horse people and otherwise, when I know it's the right time to sell out and get over the things that once were. The sage horsemen tell me it's something I'll never get out of my blood. The advice from my business friends is to disperse and stop losing money.

I suppose where my question lies, and request for advice comes from the same question I've asked many others: How do you know that it is time? How do I know it's become time to part with my childhood, something that was so important for many years? How will I know if I've made the right decision? I'm fearful I suppose if I sell out now, in a years time I will find deep regret in my decision to do so, especially in parting with my beloved mare.

I want so much to do what is right by the horses, and any advice that you all have in making decisions like these is greatly appreciated.

Daniel.

 

[chandab]

Is there someone you trust that you could lease them to, (at least that special mare; sell the others)? Put your tack in storage (rather than sell, while you are feeling out other roads)? And, do those other things that interest you now, without being tied down to daily chores. If you can safely lease out, if in a few months or even years, you want them back in your life, you haven't completely sold out and can revisit your equine life.

[if they are registered and you chose to lease, do the lease arrangement on paperwork with the registry too, to help cover bases and keep track of paperwork.]

 

[Ryan Johnson]

Hey Daniel,

Reading this has just taken me back about 12 years. If, at the time I had put my thoughts and feelings to paper I have no doubt that my story would have read as your does above.

Where your at in life now and the feelings that you are having are perfectly normal and I am sure you wont be the last to face these decisions that lie ahead. I began life with horses around the age of 6, my godfather was a thoroughbred trainer at the time in Australia and after being introduced to horses at that stage of my life , I always imagined id be involved with them in some way or another. Fast forward about 12 years to the age of 18 and after a nasty fall on a horse in track work , I guess you could say that I lost a fair bit of confidence. I had just completed high school , was going out with friends on the weekends to the city and having just started my first full time job, I wondered at that time "What would become of my horses", that I loved so dearly.

I had a wonderful loyal pony that I loved dearly, we spent so much time together trail riding, going to the beach and developing that bond that only a horse person knows of.

After the fall I had at 18 , I was up at the agistment/boarding stables one day, and due to the very little time that I knew I now had at that time of my life, I made the heartbreaking decision that it was time to sell him. I was fairly lucky that I was able to sell him to a friend at that time , for which he lived out his final years. I guess because I knew where he was going made the decision a little easier but it certainly didn't relieve the heartache of not having him anymore. I knew it was for the best , but even telling myself that made the heartbreak no easier.

I didn't ride for the better part of 7 years or have a lot to do with horses for that matter. The memories never disappeared though and I often had flashbacks of the best parts of my life. They were always of my ponies and the fun we had together. Taking the horses through the drive thru at McDonalds ( couldn't do it now , suburbia got bigger).

By the time I reached 25, now fully into my "Adult life" , I realised that I wanted that companionship again. After looking for a while I came across a Thoroughbred that was for sale. I went out to view him and after a slight hesitation and a few flashbacks of the fall at the track , I got on him. I rode him round for about half an hour and went home to "think it over" I did end up purchasing him and to this day he lives out his retirement in my back 6 acre paddock. I'm now 36 years old and have two TBs and 3 minis.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that "life will change" whether we want it to or not, its going to happen.

The sage horsemen are very right "horses will always be in your blood" . Its easy for your business associates to tell you to " sell up and save money" but they aren't the ones that are having their "heart strings" played with here.

Best of luck with what ever you decide to do.

Cheers Ryan

 

[Debby - LB]

Hi Daniel yes remember you! Do you still have your Llamas too? I remember you going to the state fair to show them.

To answer your question I think that since you have lost the interest you once had, if there is no other option, yes now is the right time for you to re-home your horses, but (my opinion) you'll never as you say "get over the things that once were".

It sounds like your business friends are not horse people. I don't mean to discount their advice but looking at your horses purely from a money perspective isn't going to help you any. Taking care of your horses all these years as you have, heck even asking the questions you have asked here tells me this is a personal heart wrenching decision. Only someone with a true love of horses would be bothered by this decision you face so I'm glad you came here where other people with that same love can give their advice.

I'll repeat I do think it's time. I also think somewhere down the road you'll be back.

 

[Miniv]

Ditto to the advice you've received.......It does sound like it is time. And yes, once you've had that love for horses in your blood, it never completely leaves.

Do you have that special horse (or two)? Most of us do. I call them "Heart Horses". I think Chandab has a great suggestion regarding your Heart Horse(s)

with leasing them out......and then selling the others. Sell off the excess tack, but keep and store what you will need for those leased horses should you

take them back in the future.

All the best in your decision and in your new adventures in life.

 

[AngC]

I have a comment regarding your interest in a stint in military service. Unless you have the funds to have someone care for your animals from a distance, I would recommend that you wrap up your "horse" affairs before signing the contract. I don't know which branch of military service interests you, but unless you stumble on really good fortune, once you sign on the dotted line, they don't just let you wander off to tend to a horse problem/emergency.

Good luck.

 

[susanne]

Life certainly brings changes, but these don't always mean on/off, black/white, absolute choices. I've gone through life always believing that I can have my cake and eat it, too. With this in mind, I would always seek ways to keep the things you love in your life.

First, do you truly feel you have lost your interest in horses, or is it just not the all-consuming, overwhelming, life-consuming passion of your past? Your current setup may be unworkable, but it may not be necessary to completely give them up. I like chanda's suggestion of leasing (or possibly co-owning) your heart horses. You could still travel and "climb the corporate ladder." Knowing your horses are in a great home while retaining visiting rights will help maintain your sanity and make the separation less heart-wrenching.

As to your "business friends" who advise you to "disperse" and stop losing money: these are business acquaintances. A friend would not suggest you give up a piece of your heart because it is not profitable. Horses are not a question of profit and loss. If it were simply a matter of dollar value, I doubt any of us would have our horses. It is a poor investment if you're just looking at the money; only horse owners will understand the true value.

If the time is right to rehome your horses, don't feel that the door is irreversibly closed. Doors close only to be reopened. If you travel the world or live in the big city, you can always locate a stable where you can ride. And you can have your cake and eat it, too. When we first adopted Mingus (and later Thelonius), we lived in a central urban neighborhood in Portland, Oregon.

My point is: the world is not either/or. If you want it, you can make it work. If it isn't right for now, you can still be a horseperson -- you simply become a horseperson without a horse.

 

[Ashley]

I agree you will never completely lose it. I got out of horses about 3.5 years ago when I didnt have a choice. Today I still do not have any. I wish I did as they are my own personal therapy. However I know that where I am at in live now, 31, trying to grow my family, just starting in my career as a therapist and getting settled into married life I know its not the best time. I go to my moms where I can still see the horses I had since I was 10 and help with the hay and hoof trimming and it reminds me in life I am just not there yet.

Life is forever changing, now is time for you to grow. There will come a time later you will settle and if the heart is still there you will find it again.