Oh you poor love- I have only just read this and my heart is breaking for you. If it is any consolation at all for you, I think most if not all of us have been through this and know what you are going through. We need a "My Vet is an idiot" thread where we can vent- I have to tell you now that MOST Vets are not, most Vets are like the one you found, and are caring and thoughtful, As to the first one- once you are all sorted out and feeling OK and you know Molly is OK I think you should sit down and send in a formal letter of complaint against her- this is not legal action, she will never know who complained, it is confidential, but, for the sake of the next foal this moron kills with her ridiculous advice, you need to consider doing it.
The exact almost to the word, same thing happened to a friend of mine, and after an hour of sitting watching, with a very experienced horse person with her, she finally rang me and I hit the roof! After the waters break you have 20 minutes (and I time it) before you start, seriously, worrying. At that point I would be calling my Vet to warn her she may need to come. If after another ten minutes I have not got the foal I get her out. By this time I am usually resigned to losing the foal; I have never had the Vet to aid me with a live delivery.
Your Vet wants shooting, yes, but the other one deserves a medal, so we do have to remember that these things balance themselves out.
My friend demanded her mare go into the hospital- her Vet did not want to come out as he was tired and had not seen his kids all day - this is SO not the mare's problem!!- anyway, they managed to sedate the mare, hoist her up and get the foal out- he was long gone, but the mare, at least, was OK. She went home and gelded her stallion, she had had enough. Like you she had been up for weeks and watched her every moment, the fact that she had sat and watched whilst the foal dies was the last straw for her.
There was nothing you could have done that you did not do, be completely assured of that.
Nothing.
It takes the wind out of you, I know, we all know.
Let me tell you that the day I take losing a foal in my stride is the day I give up breeding.
If you do not care there is no point in doing it.
Molly, in all probability, has no idea what happened and no idea what she has lost, just bear in mind that horses live in the moment, not the past or the future as we do.
Just care for the mare and concentrate on her, don't dwell on what might have been. If sometime in the future, you decide you want to have another go at this, there is no reason at all why things should go as they did, again.
Your new Vet sounds like a keeper- has he put Molly on antibiotics?
If she is being fed a little vegetable oil in her feed will help with the poop.
We are all thinking of you and I am SO sorry you had to go through this.
