Got husbands results

[drk]

Thoughts and Prayers to you and your Husband. I also agree with everyone on seeing other Dr.s for additional opinions. Please try to be positive and stay tough as it will help him to be the same.

Keeping a positive attitude is a powerful tool against this terrible disease. And keeping a Positive mind set will help boost the immune system.

 

[Taylor Jo]

Thanks guys, yea I've been trying to tell my husband to go and get another Dr's advice and he doesn't want to hear it. ERRRR!!!!!!! My daughter in law did talk to her oncologist and he basically said the same thing though. It's gone to more then one organ and if that then they don't look at surgery as far advanced as his. His nurse practioner told me their NOT looking to get rid of the cancer, just to make him MORE comfortable. "Sigh"

They finally got him on Oxygen. They have him on a unit in the home where he can go anywhere in the house and then he has a portable unit he can take with him and it goes on wheels. He seems to be doing MUCH better on the O2.

I got him started on a website too, it's called; Carepages.com I don't know if anyone has heard of it. It's for patients and their famlies. You can have your own webpage and blog on it and have people you invite to read it and they can leave remarks, you can and they can post pictures. You can leave a profile. I'm so relieved to have this now I don't have to send out all kinds of e mails everyone can just go and check on him here, I just have to come here and there. I really like it. Plus, if you want to look others up you can or read others blogs you can.

I decided to go too the horse show in Lebanon, Mo so thought I'd leave for a few hrs and he's got my cell phone if he needs me. I think I'm leaving the horses at home as I just don't have the energy, but I can enjoy friends and the horses. I was really looking forward to taking my filly Polly and Dakota but it just takes a lot of energy and I'm just afraid I'll loose it, so you can only do what you can do.

I'm trying to remain postive. I'm doing better, but you know you go back and forth. I bought him some fruit, frozen strawberries/mixed berries, juices no sugar to make smoothies, for him. He also wanted puddings and Jello cups so I got him the no sugar ones. Thanks for the input on the veggies and sugar. I do try to give him fresh veggies but mainly it's frozen cause he eats sooooo little that everything ends up going to waste. I fix a bag of those veg's that you put in the microw. cook the whole bag and I pull them out in 4 min and I eat most of it and give him a small amount. I do have some trouble though he HATES broccli and califlower!!!!!! So I have to be creative. I take the carrots out of the mixed veg's stuff like that. I buy peas, I buy different stuff.

Well he can't find his antibiotic. Gotta run, TJ

 

[Taylor Jo]

Thanks guys, yea I've been trying to tell my husband to go and get another Dr's advice and he doesn't want to hear it. ERRRR!!!!!!! My daughter in law did talk to her oncologist and he basically said the same thing though. It's gone to more then one organ and if that then they don't look at surgery as far advanced as his. His nurse practioner told me their NOT looking to get rid of the cancer, just to make him MORE comfortable. "Sigh"

They finally got him on Oxygen. They have him on a unit in the home where he can go anywhere in the house and then he has a portable unit he can take with him and it goes on wheels. He seems to be doing MUCH better on the O2.

I got him started on a website too, it's called; Carepages.com I don't know if anyone has heard of it. It's for patients and their famlies. You can have your own webpage and blog on it and have people you invite to read it and they can leave remarks, you can and they can post pictures. You can leave a profile. I'm so relieved to have this now I don't have to send out all kinds of e mails everyone can just go and check on him here, I just have to come here and there. I really like it. Plus, if you want to look others up you can or read others blogs you can.

I decided to go too the horse show in Lebanon, Mo so thought I'd leave for a few hrs and he's got my cell phone if he needs me. I think I'm leaving the horses at home as I just don't have the energy, but I can enjoy friends and the horses. I was really looking forward to taking my filly Polly and Dakota but it just takes a lot of energy and I'm just afraid I'll loose it, so you can only do what you can do.

I'm trying to remain postive. I'm doing better, but you know you go back and forth. I bought him some fruit, frozen strawberries/mixed berries, juices no sugar to make smoothies, for him. He also wanted puddings and Jello cups so I got him the no sugar ones. Thanks for the input on the veggies and sugar. I do try to give him fresh veggies but mainly it's frozen cause he eats sooooo little that everything ends up going to waste. I fix a bag of those veg's that you put in the microw. cook the whole bag and I pull them out in 4 min and I eat most of it and give him a small amount. I do have some trouble though he HATES broccli and califlower!!!!!! So I have to be creative. I take the carrots out of the mixed veg's stuff like that. I buy peas, I buy different stuff.

Well he can't find his antibiotic. Gotta run, TJ

 

[CyndiM]

Sending prayers and ((((HUGS)))) your way.

 

[Taylor Jo]

I have home health coming out tomorrow cause he's got a sore coming on his coccyx (a decube) and he's got bone right there ready to poke through. He's lost so much weight that he's just skin and bone on his tail bone.......... I bought him some bag balm (the nurse at his Dr's office said to put lanolin on it) but this is so frustrating, "Honey let me put some of that cream on," "no I'll do it." It doesn't get put on. "Gary, you NEED to let me put some of that cream on that tail bone," NO I'll do it here in a minute" Of course he doesn't do it. I COULD SCREAM. It should go on at least 4 times a day. Plus, "Gary you need to get up and move some." " Yea I will" He goes to the bathroom and comes back and sits in his chair. I said; "Why don't you walk around with me" "Maybe later" Later comes and he never does. SOOOO frustrating.

He sleeps sitting straight up with 2 pillows right on that tail bone, then he sits in his chair. I have a tail bone cushion pad I gave him to use that works really good but today he took it out, so he's just sitting on the cushion in the chair.

I'm hoping home health with get a pad on it and STRESS to him the importance of moving and shifiting his weight to his side and just not sitting on his back side.

The dogs all lay near him in the living room now as they want to be close to him. Especially my lab he's 3 and he knows something is going on. My Shar Pei she knows but she's more interested in going out and barking at the horses. My mini doxie he wants to sit with Dad in his chair.

Speaking of which, I have a confession to make.......

I went out today and got my Gunther, my miniature doxie another miniature doxie. He's kind of a Tweeny and the little girl I got which is a black and tan is 4 mths old and she's 5 lbs. she's to get 8-9 lbs that's what her parents are. She's just as cute as a button. My step daughter has a little mini Doxie and Gunther LOVES that little girl, I take him over there and he plays for hours with her and doesn't want to leave. If they come over here he jumps in their car and won't get out he goes and sits with that little girl.

I decided Gunther and I could use a cuddle dog one on each side of the chair, he'd have his buddy and I'd have my little girls. Winky my sharpei is about as cutesie, well she's not, she's sweet but she's NOT a prissy little girl, she's a 45 lb DOG that happens to be a girl. I love her dearly but she's like a cat VERY aloof, I may let you pet me IF I decide I'm in the mood, or MAYBE I won't. If I want to hold her in my lap, HA that last about 5 seconds.

Well, we pick up the little girl on Thursday, so we shall see. I take Gunther at night to the barn to close up so they both can go with me that's our routine. Just have to think of a name for a REALLY prissy LITTLE GIRL....... My husbands usually pretty good. BUT I don't know about for a PRISSY little girl. TJ

 

[HGFarm]

Aw, congrats on your newest addition.

Guys can be SO frustrating, can't they? Perhaps you might have a talk with one of the nurses, the doctor or something and have THEM stress to him the importance of moving around and other things that he needs to do!!

Does he like things like rice, potatoes, etc...?? I made things like a big stew, or stuff like that with veggies etc.... IN it... Tacos with corn tortillas and meat, with fresh veggies on those... maybe things like that where you can mix the veggies in with other things, LOL

Ha, I now eat the sugar free jello, etc... myself, and get the fruit cocktail with no sugar added. It's just as good as the other if you ask me! My sister has also been sneaking in sugar free stuff on her hubby- he is just a sugar addict (and is not fat, but his BP is high and he is having other health issues due partially to his diet). If he doesnt see the box, he has NO idea that it is sugar free.

By the way, did you know that jello is one of the highest sources of protein?!! For breakfast I would make eggs, hashbrowns and bacon or ham or something... with some fresh cantalope or something on the side. Very filling and nourishing and after a while, we didnt miss the bread and all the carbs so much.

Keep at it- you will find ways to get around the Man Stubborness and how to deal with their set in stone ways.... though I admit I did blow up once about half way through it, but he did listen better after that!

Try to do anything you can to keep weight on him! That rapid weight loss doesnt sound too good and he is going to get worse about halfway through the chemo treatments. (Has he started that yet? I have forgotten)

Bless you and try to keep your chin up. It won't be easy at all. Hugs to you all.

 

[Magic]

Guys can be SO frustrating, can't they? Perhaps you might have a talk with one of the nurses, the doctor or something and have THEM stress to him the importance of moving around and other things that he needs to do!!

I agree, sometimes we just don't listen to those closest to us when advice is given, but will when someone else gives it, especially if it's someone in that field of expertise.

I hope that you have a good time at the horse show. I really feel for you, this is terribly difficult on all of you. Keeping you and your hubby in my prayers. {{{hugs}}}}

 

[Gini]

Congratulations on your new little one... My parents raised Doxie's while I was growing up. They are really wonderful dogs and great companions. On another subject of the bed sores. This may sound weird but it truely does work. When I was a RNA in San Diego I got to go around with a Home Health RN. When she first told me about this I thought she was nuts! She would take athlete's foot powder and pack in the sore and if it had started ozing she would have the patient after putting the powder on go under a heat lamp. You have to make sure the patient doesn't stay under very long. Just enough time maybe 10-20 minutes about 5 x's a day. It's work but I guarantee it works. Please ask. There is also a moving thin mattess with chambers for air and has a compressor attached. This automatically moves the patient and relieves different pressure area's automatically. Some of this you may already know but wanted to suggest some things to you.

I have not been in the field since 1993 and would want you to check with his Dr prior to using any of these suggestions as each patient varies and I'm not in the medical field any more.

Know prayers are coming daily for you all.

 

[bfogg]

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I went thru this and it's going to be a tough tough road.

You can get the Ensure drinks for him to drink like Ensure and the others like it. Larry was able to drink those for awhile. They really don't want to eat so those pack quite a vitamin punch and aren't so hard to get down. He would also eat Breyers ice cream for awhile. It is important for him to get his weight off of his coccyx,sounds like he is starting a bed sore. They can go from redness to a sore an inch around in just a few hours.

The aides will have some cream specifically for the bed sores. See that they use it. He is probably dehydrated and that is when his skin starts breaking down.They have specific swabs you can wet and give to him to suck on. Also popsicles they can sometime eat.

But it is important that the weight gets off these areas. I Hope some of these things may help in some way.

Hugs to you.

Bonnie

 

[Just Us N Texas]

Taylor Jo,

When my late husband was in the last stages of his cancer, I was getting frustrated with getting him to eat, sleep in the bed, and all the other things that go on. I spoke to the home health nurse and she told me to leave him be. She said that forcing food was worse for him than him going without. He also told me later that he was afraid to go to bed, afraid he wouldn't wake up, and sitting in the chair, he wouldn't sleep as soundly and slip away. Speak to your doctor, nurse, or hospice people, and just try to do what they advise. As they told me, don't get frustrated by trying to do the right things, just enjoy while you can, his company, and let him enjoy yours. I don't mean to be discouraging in any way, I just want to help you try and understand that none of us are perfect, and we can't accomplish the impossible, even though we try. You have a long and difficult road ahead of you, and I feel for you.

 

[Bess Kelly]

Hello.....I'm sorry for what you have and will be experiencing from hubby's cancer. I'm a survivor of just such a situation. Talk with the home health nurses, talk with him....things will become complicated. Ensure was about all Dick could consume after a few months of chemo. During the chemo, his tast buds changed dramatically! Things previously loved became totally inedible for him. Smells -- yep that, also. In fact, I couldn't cook as it made him turn sick. That was fine, he had Ensure, but YOU won't even be able to heat something up for yourself, one day. Yes, they lose weight, can't sleep, don't want to talk/see anyone. It's called depression (I can sure understand why!). If his dr doesn't have him on meds for these things, ask for them. Next, you mention it is in his liver. Therefore you will find that his meds won't always work well -- the liver is the filter and dispersing mechanisim in the the body -- my hubby's had gone from colon to liver. This is a hard, long path to travel, may God bless you both. As things progress, pain meds will be critical. We found some patches that worked better than other things (Duragesic) but, it's been 10 yrs and they may have some new things now. My only regret is that I did not have a shot of morphine available for the last days. It could have been put into the pic line and brought the entire family relief. Again, talk with your doctor. You know, Dick and I spent a lot of time just talking about the many, many, many wonderful times we had together over the years. It helped us both and memories are just something no one can take away. Try to spend time with hubby and you will never regret it.

I believe you asked about the step-kids -- issues, would they remember you in yrs to come -- I can answer that too. NO. Mine are cordial any time we meet but, we do not socialize otherwise. they did the first 6-9 months in limited ways. Yep, 20 yrs and it is now done like a neighbor who moved across country. Sorry, but true. Especially with the things you have already mentioned about family, visits, arguments, etc. Protect yourself by being prepared for these things. I'm available to talk at any time if you want to email me.....like you have so much time!

My thoughts are with you at this stressful and heartbreaking time.

 

[Charlene]

Taylor Jo,When my late husband was in the last stages of his cancer, I was getting frustrated with getting him to eat, sleep in the bed, and all the other things that go on. I spoke to the home health nurse and she told me to leave him be. She said that forcing food was worse for him than him going without. He also told me later that he was afraid to go to bed, afraid he wouldn't wake up, and sitting in the chair, he wouldn't sleep as soundly and slip away. Speak to your doctor, nurse, or hospice people, and just try to do what they advise. As they told me, don't get frustrated by trying to do the right things, just enjoy while you can, his company, and let him enjoy yours. I don't mean to be discouraging in any way, I just want to help you try and understand that none of us are perfect, and we can't accomplish the impossible, even though we try. You have a long and difficult road ahead of you, and I feel for you.

i absolutely agree with this. TJ, as hard as it is, you need to take a step back and put yourself in his place for a few minutes. we cannot possibly understand the emotions that go along with being diagnosed with a terminal illness. i tried many times to think what it was like for my own gary to be going through it and sometimes i thought i understood but most times, i knew i didn't. simply put, your husband is suffering both physically and emotionally. i know how frustrating all of this is but you have to remember, nothing in his life is normal now and it never will be. that has to be such a heavy burden for him. he is, i'm sure, trying to come to terms with his mortality and thinking about all of the things he will be leaving behind.

bess has some very good points also. my gary was on an antidepressant right from the start and i think it did help him cope in some small way. that's something you should definitely talk to your husband's oncologist about, as soon as possible.

bess, my husband was home with hospice care for 2 weeks before he died. i did have the morphine. i had enough morphine to kill 10 horses. as much as i hated seeing my husband non-communicative and comatose for many days, there were times when i was glad he could not express his feelings. i lived in fear that he would ask me to do what you imply. i do not know if i could have denied him that release.

TJ, you are in my thoughts and prayers as is your husband. there is not a single thing easy about what you are going through and what lies ahead in the weeks to come. spend every minute you can with him, even if you just hold his hand while he sleeps. let the housework go, let somebody else take care of chores when you can, if you can. he is your top priority now. don't make the mistake of avoiding interaction with him, even though it will be so painful. be with him, talk to him, just love him. you won't regret it. God bless.

 

[Jill]

TJ --

I am keeping you two in my thoughts and prayers.

Hopefully, you can get him to move around more. That really helps. It hurts at first but then you do feel better.

Also, is he on painkillers? I was on Oxycodone, and for me, it really threw me for a loop. I don't know how to balance the need for pain relief with how that med made me feel, but I mean... it was like an effort just to keep breathing for me on that med when I was sick. I couldn't hold a thought in my head, couldn't follow a simple sitcom on tv, just it takes all the will out of me. If he's on that, or something similar, maybe there is an alternative med? It made me NOT me.

Jill

 

[sfmini]

TJ, I am so sorry for what you two are facing. What a nighmare for you.

What is the link to his caring page and I will add him to my links of others I am following. I hadn't heard of caring pages, but I am following a few people on Caring Bridge, same concept I am sure.

Hang in there, it sounds like you are facing this with strength and love.

 

[HGFarm]

Ensure is full of sugar and preservatives..... but I did find out that about 43% of the cancer patients on chemo actually starve to death. He has got to keep eating. Ensure is not all that it's cracked up to be, and I know many that have ended up dumping it down the sink. Sugar water is not very nutritional and their advertising hypes are just that - hype.

Here are some interesting articles in these 'healthy energy drinks'!!!

http://www.dietspotlight.com/ensure-review/

http://www.naturalnews.com/002698.html

http://www.thedietchannel.com/scoopon.htm

 

[Taylor Jo]

Thanks all. Yesterday we had a Home Health nurse came. She said this should NOT be a home health call but a hospice call. After all was done and we got done with her I followed her out I asked her to be straight with me about how much time she thought my husband had left. She said; "a matter of weeks." She said I'll send my report to the Dr.and he will see your husband before chemo tomorrow. We went to the Dr this morning and they took his labs and the Dr came in and said his liver enzymes were NOT good but others were ok. He took a look at my husband and said I see you've went down hill since the last time I've seen you. We're going to admit you in the hosptial and GIVE you chemo. I said well what about TPN to feed him cause he's not eating. The Dr said we'll he's not at that point yet, he'll eat for us!!!!! I SAID NO he WON'T. And the Dr said; well if he won't then we'll have to consider the TPN. We'll just have to see how he does.

I said; well why are you doing the chemo? He said cause were going to make him MORE comfortable. I said did you see his swollen feet and abdomen and he looked at him and said well the chemo will help that. So they were suppose to start the chemo tonight. We'll see how it goes.

I'm so exhausted I can't even think straight, I'm going to sign off here and go to bed. I was up at 1 am with my husband and then again at 3 am and then at 4 and then I got up at 445 to get ready to take him to the Dr's. The trip is 65 miles one way.

I appreciate you all who wrote, the nurse did ask him if he was depressed and he said no, the Dr even asked him and he said no. Good night all, TJ

 

[Crabby-Chicken]

I am so sorry he is getting so ill so fast. You are doing what you need to do. Please take care of yourself. Hope you both are resting well tonight.

 

[Bess Kelly]

I'm hoping the hospital stay will help your husband. We did chemo for about 8 months, then it was determined that it was not helping, several different combos. At this point, it was just "wait". We were at home, hospice was used for the last 10 days. My previous statement about the morphine was simply to be able to relieve the discomfort of the last hours of life, nothing more. The hospice nurse actually asked if I had been given any as she would suggest a small dose when I had called her to advise the end was imminent -- and it was only another hour or so before he passed. She actually arrived after the fact.

These are such hard situations to endure but, we must realize that often there is little choice. Believe me when I say, I feel your helplessness and pain. Please take care of yourself, also. I pray for you and your family to receive the strength to endure.

 

[Barbie]

Sorry to hear he's doing worse so quickly. Hopefully he'll get some relief in the hospital. Prayers for you both. Please take care of yourself as you're going to have to be strong.

((((HUGS))))

Barbie

 

[SampleMM]

Hi TJ, I am sorry that your husband is now in the hospital. It must make it even harder for you since everything seems far away. Remember, call me anytime for support.