Got husbands results

[Aristocratic Minis]

So sorry your husband is so ill. I hope you can cope with the situation and not make yourself sick.

Try to be strong and loving for him. Nothing else is important right now.

Your family is in our prayers.

 

[RobinRTrueJoy]

Sending up prayers for you both!

Robin

 

[HGFarm]

Oh dear, so sorry to hear all this... I hope the chemo does make him more comfortable, but do agree there are times it does not work much. I hope it does for him and does make him more comfortable.

I agree- if someone else can help with chores, or whatever it is you need to do.... he is the priority right now, to spend time with, etc.... and remember that even if they appear comatose, or sleeping, etc... they know you are there!!! And it does make a difference! They can still hear you.

This just breaks my heart that you are going through this- I am so sorry and saddened. Wish I were close by to help- I would do your chores for you.

Please remember through all this, take care of you too. It wont be easy. Hugs to you and everyone. I wish there was something I could do.

 

[Mercysmom]

Prayers for you both.

Denise

 

[loveminis]

I'm very sorry. At this point I hope he does not suffer.

 

[Taylor Jo]

Thanks again all for your support. I saw him again today and they found more fluid on his lungs and took out another 4-500 cc's of it. However, when I talked to him tonight he sounded awful, he was almost crying he was saying, "oh honey this is just so awful, I just wish I could breath." I started crying and said, I know honey. I told him to save his breath and that I would see him tomorrow. He was practically gasping for air. Poor thing. Well it's 830 and I'm exhausted and if you were near I think I'd take you up on the chore help, I no more get there and then I have to stay abit and turn around and come back and start chores all over again. My husbands "daughter" is NOT inclined to help me. She'll help her dad, but NEVER me again. That's ok, I get my emotional support elsewhere and I know God is watching out over me. They said today my husband would be in the hosptial over the weekend and they'd try to get another chemo treatment in before he went home on Monday as we have to come so far. Gee I spend 2.5-3 hrs on the road exhausting.

Good nite all, Love TJ

 

[crponies]

I'm praying for you and your husband, Taylor Jo. I'm glad to know you are looking to God for the strength you need to get through this. I too wish I was close enough to help you out with chores.

 

[Taylor Jo]

This is yesterday Friday 10/16 sitting up in his chair just before they came to take more fluid off of his lungs.

This is Mattie, OR Maddy haven't decided which yet.

Love to all, TJ

 

[luv2ridesaddleseat]

I feel so bad for you.

Beautiful pictures of Hubby and pup. I hope your hubby feels better Monday and can come home and enjoy himself.

 

[Basketmiss]

So sorry things arent going better TJ. Praying hard for you both.

Dont let yourself become exhausted, as it wont help him any if you are sick You are his strength so take care of you too. I know its hard to do so.

I hope things turn for the better real soon.

(((HUGS))) Missy

 

[mininik]

So sorry about your troubles. That's a cute puppy, but please be extra careful to not leave those pill bottles within her reach...

 

[Taylor Jo]

NOPE I removed the Pill bottles just after I took those pic's. Little booger would certainly get into them. My husband is again not doing well, they have him on ativan to relax him cause he's having trouble breathing, he's not eating, but will drink an ensure, he's gasping for air and they have him on breathing treatments and steroids. He does do a little better for awhile after the treatment but then goes right back to the gasping a little while afterwards. I took Maddy to the vets and everyone was SOOOO nice they offered to come take care of my animals for me, here they are 8-10 hr shift people just like the rest of you and offerered me a client help. That blessed me so much. TODAY on the way down here to see my husband I called my step daughter and I asked her on their way to church if they could run in (we live JUST off the freeway) and go to my house and go up on my pianao and get the doggy bones off of it and give it to Gunther and Maddy? You'd think I asked her to feed for a week. She didn't say anything at all. PERIOD. I repeated it again and she still didn't say anything. SO I said well IF it's to much trouble and your running late then DON'T do it. She said fine. I DON't need this in my life right now. I KNEW when I called I shouldn't have. I JUST should have turned around and drove the half hour back and gone and gave it to them, OR HOPED they didn't RUIN anything. I just should have put her in the kennel but I was going to be gone for so long. Battery is about to go out, TJ

 

[Barbie]

TJ-

Prayers for both your husband and yourself. I'm so sorry he is suffering so. You're sure going through a tough time. Try and get some rest and take care of yourself so you can be there for your hubby.

((((HUGS))))

Barbie

 

[Taylor Jo]

Yesterday like I said they upped his O2 to 4 L and about my step daughter, I came home and NOPE the dog bones were STILL sitting on the piano. I was so peeved I took 2 years worth of anger and fired off an e mail to her. Her husband wrote back and said I sounded "edgy" I wrote back and said I was NOT "edgy" my husband was dying. All I'd asked for was a "little" help and it was obvious they didn't do it. Plus, I said some MORE angry things about her, I told her she wasn't my friend any more and who wants to be friends with someone so dang bossy and always has to be so right and you can't tell them anything. If she didn't hate me before she does now.

I was tired of tiptoing around her and always being nice when she was mean to me. The last straw was when she was peeved cause I got my puppy. She can tell you but by gosh don't you dare tell HER. SO I told her. I don't dare tell my husband it would break his heart, this has been a 2 year battle and I've been crying to him for 2 years of why doesn't she like me. NOW I don't care. Well I do care for my husbands sake and I'm sitting here in Mo and don't REALLY have a friend. I have my bible study but I just see the women on Wed. I have my mini friend but she lives 3 hrs away in Arkansas. I feel so very alone.

My husbands step daughter did not and has not called one time to ask me how I was doing and keeping up, WHY? Cause she could care less. I called her to tell her about an update about her dad a few days ago and she was kind then she said she felt sorry for me if I lost him cause she knew how much I loved him and him me and that was nice.

She has her good moments. We have had our good times and I love her kids I love them a lot and will miss them terribly. They did peridocally help, but then she took care of my horse and it got into a fence and went through it and I told her NOT to let it out of the barn, well she did any way. I had the odasity to TELL her I was upset, HOW DARE ME, speak to her in that way........... She told me I was attacking her family and went on and on. I reached out to her several times to try and make up and finally after like 2 or 3 days SHE finally decided she'd said enough MEAN things and was CRUEL enough so she made up on HER TERMS. But she let it be known she'd NEVER HELP ME AGAIN, ONLY HER DAD..........

So here I sit alone, no family, no friends, just my dogs, and horses. Why, oh why did God do this to me, I know it's just life. But this was my 3rd marriage and it was a good marriage, I LOVED my husband and he LOVED me, this was going to be our 10th anniversery come JUNE. I wanted 10, 20 more with him. I Loved him and now it may all go away. My heart is just broken.

Thanks for listening, I appreciate it. TJ

 

[loveminis]

This is so much for you to handle..... I am so sorry.

As far as your husband's family = WRITE THEM OFF ! I think they have made their feelings clear. Spare yourself the heartache. Just because they are related to your husband does not mean they are good people.

If your husband was to pass away can you move somewhere close to your family members ? You will need to make some friends or join a support group.

Take care, you are a strong lady

 

[Littleum]

. I have my bible study but I just see the women on Wed.

I feel so for you.

Why don't you try giving some of the ladies from bible study a ring and ask for their help, if only to come over and read with you and maybe eat a meal with you? If you have a church, have you thought maybe reaching out to the rest of the congregation for help?

 

[Taylor Jo]

I agree about them NOT being my family and I never thought about going to the congreagation. I just may do that. I just can't do this alone. I called my daughter and BEGGED her to come and I've ALWAYS went to her when she needed me other then one time I didn't go until a couiple months later, but she told me as I probably stated before that she NOW say's her ex doesn't think he can help her and of course her job. Of course I know her job would let her go cause they JUST helped my sister and SHE DOES have the PTO time. I don't know what the problem is, but I can't spin my wheels worrying about it. He's doing so much better today, he's breathing better, the steroids have kicked in and he looks better he's not as swollen, he said food taste better so he's eating it. Swelling has gone down some, he walked today. I asked if I could bring Maddy up but they said no, even if I had her in the pet taxi.

Thanks all, hugs, TJ

 

[Jill]

TJ, I am so sorry for what is happening. Just thinking of being in your position, I swear to God, it feels like it takes my breath away at just the thought. I am so sorry!

 

[Taylor Jo]

Thanks all. After my meltdown yesterday I'm doing much better today. I went to see my Dr and she said this is normal and it will probably get worse before it gets better but this is part of the grieving process. I told her I "KNEW" that but I KNOW the outcome cause of my sons death and that's what I so fight against about maybe loosing my husband.

She told me NOT to focus on the loosing part so much but think of the now part otherwise I'm going to miss out on the present with him. SO I will take that advice. Also I think part of the problem is I've had soooo much time alone w/o him and no one to talk to, ya know a live person in the other room, just the phone and computer. B

One of his daughters out in Ca asked if I wanted her to come and stay and help. I wholeheartedly accepted. She's a great cook, LOVES to work and will help me a lot. I told her between the two of us we can cook him some good meals now that his taste buds are coming back.

The Dr is going to do another chemo tomorrow he thinks and then MAYBE go home Wed or Thurs. they are taking away the feeding IV, TPN cause he's eating and we may have to do breathing treatments every 4 hours at home. That's ok, I'm up taking Gunther and Maddy potty at 2 or 4 anyway. I've had them sleeping with me and he was NOT happy about that at ALL. He's like; "well when I get home that's going to change." What he doesn't understand is I'm not putting a 5 lb dog down with a 100 lb dog, she's my baby, Gunny's 17 lbs. It's funny, they FIGHT for who's going to lay the closest to mom. I climb in the bed and you should see the scrabble to see who's going to get the closest. She growls and snarls and Gunny's SHOVES. I just laugh, it's quite comical. I haven't had a dog in bed with me since my tea cup poodle and that was 30 years ago. I'm having a ball with her and Gunther.

I went to the Dr an hour away today and took them with me and I had their beds with me and they slept in them which was good and then we went over to Pet Co so we could look around. I wanted a pink rain coat for Maddy and a blue one for Gunther but they didn't have their sizes. I'm not to much into the clothes thing but I do like winter sweaters when it's COLD out side or our house is cold especially in our basement in the winter, we watch TV down there sometimes and it gets quite brisk Gunther likes his sweater on and so does Winky being a Shar Pei she doesn't have much hair. I know some people dress them up a lot but one I can't afford it and two, dogs like to be dogs I think. It's whatever floats your boat as they always say.

Thanks for caring so much. I'll share something with you 3 years ago I was VERY ill. I've shared on this before, as I had a eating disorder. My husband stayed home and took care of our animals all by himself for 6 months. I also had a personality disorder. I had mulitple personalitys. Believe it or not I don't care that's not the issue, but all my life I've been very ill, I've had several suicide attempts, massive depression, and on top of that I'm Bi Polar. My husband LOVED ME. I had 3 bad marriages NO ONE LOVED ME, for me, they loved who ever that person could perform and be. I was who ever I could be. Half the time I didn't even know who I was. I raised 2 children like that. My son who died never got to know the real me.

I am a new person now. When my son died I felt no pain, the personalitys took all the pain, I didn't. NOW I feel that pain and I feel the pain of what's going on with my husband. I'm terrified. He, beside my son and somewhat selfishly my dad in some small way have been the only men to ever truly love me, me for me. My husband loves me unconditonally, I love him more because of it. I couldn't be sitting here whole and writing this if it wasn't for his wonderful love. Sure he has his faults just like everyone else, but I am blessed and to let go of that is such a tragedy for me. I don't want to let go of a man who has nurtured and loved me and kept me safe and walked me through heck. He met my personalitys one by one he met them, he saw the raw old me, then he saw the new butterfly me come and emerge into a stronger better me into one person.

If I can walk through that firey heck and live through it for 55 years anyone can make it. I'm afraid to walk alone, I've had him hold my hand for 10 years, he's lifted me up when I've been down, I've cried, begged, pleaded, screamed, yelled, wailed and moaned, and done everything in between with this man, he has kept me by showing his love, he has NEVER Once faultered. He has given me EVERYTHING I EVER ASKED FOR AND THEN SOME.

I have made him angry, I have made him sad, but most of all I think I've made him happy. I'm also the love of his life. He's my BFF, how can you let go of that my friend? How can you let go of that?

Thanks for listening, I love you all, TJ

 

[Just Us N Texas]

T.J., when my late husband died, I made it through. We were married for 34 years, he was my friend, lover, mother,father, everything to me. Before he died, I told him it was okay for him to go. That because of him, I was strong enough to make it. He had given me so much for so many years, that I could take the strength he had given me all those years, and go on. I know it relieved his mind some about going. It was hard but I made it. You will too. Make yourself strong enough to get through this with him, and make it easier on him to go. Think of all the love and compassion he has given you all these years. That will never leave you, you never have to give it up. He, and all his strength and love will always be a part of you. It won't be easy, but keep that knowledge of that love in your heart, and eventually, things will get better. Remember, no one can take that from you.