Help!!!

[Boinky]

well seeing as i have FOUR dogs that i just adore and take almost EVERYWHERE with me when ever possible.... i can understand them wanting to bring the dogs..HOWEVER it is only one day..shouldn't be a big deal. I also know how does/doesn't like or welcome dogs. My dogs are perfectly happy to sit in my car even for HOURS! When i do leave my dogs at home they are all adults and can hold it for a very long time... i think a adult dog can reasonably hold it for 6-8 hours (or should be able to). If i'm going to be gone for much longer than that i put them in my barn which has a very large outdoor pen and some barrels with hay in them so they can cuddle up if it's cold. Now these ARE house dogs (aussies) but they seem to do fine outside all day if i'm gone. I think the "no heat" is an excuse your brother is just making up... there are other possibilities like someone else mentioned a heated bed or something.

 

[Bess Kelly]

Your brother needs to grow up and learn about respect.

I think the pet sitter reference was pure genius!

Hope all works out well. Do not feel guilty, no need.

Added: I own a dog, horses, cats.....do what I need to accomodate all. I've used pro kennels when I had trips, taken animals with crates, always cleaned up and asked permission. Have had visitors who complied. It's simple!

 

[Suzie]

This is not about whether the dogs can come. This is about control. Your brother and his wife if they were mature people, would make arrangements and try to be accommodating. I never take my dog to someone's home. That would be rude. And yes, if I had a place where my kids would not be welcome and I wanted to attend anyway, I got a sitter or I stayed home. I was a GUEST in someone's home.

I have left my dogs at home and found a sitter if I really wanted to do something. Same with horses, cats, birds.

You brother is trying to make you feel guilty. Sounds like he has had plenty of practice at getting his own way. He uses this to get attention. Oh look, YOUR dog is doing this, doing that. Yes, this is your family, you want them all together and happy, but even if he comes with the dogs now, I am sure you will hear it back at you. If he leaves the dogs at home and comes, he will probably whine and moan to get attention about it from the rest of your family. This a no win situation. Unless he grows up, this will not be the first nor the last time you accommodate his dogs.

For me, the choice would be easy. My house, my rules. If you can't come and abide by them, well, we will miss you and hope you have a very Merry Christmas. At my age, all this family drama is hardly tolerated anymore. Life is too short. And Guilt does not come into my vocabulary any more either.

Sometimes Christmas can be nice without the melodrama of other people.

 

[Sterling]

I love my dogs as if they were my kids. I love dogs period! That being said I would not have someone visit me bringing their own dog here inside my house. I've had my farrier bring his little Border Collie up when he trims the horses and Buddy just moseys around checking things out. Does'nt bother me one bit. But...I know that if another dog or dogs visited us inside the house Lakota would be beside herself. This farm is hers...and her breed protects and guards her things. Us humans living in the house along with her "sister" are a pack. Knowing she would be upset and uneasy for the duration of someone's visit with their dog, well I just won't put her throught it. That's why I won't have it.

Last year when we went on vacation and traveled to Oklahoma, we stayed at Hotels along the way and in Oklahoma. My brother-in-law who lives in Edmond and his wife offered to let us stay with them. They have a beautiful house with a fenced in yard. We gently declined the overnight stay, but we did visit them. I had thought ahead and brought my dog crate, leashes and always carry poop bags with me. When we visited them, the dogs hung outside with us on the porch and in the yard. When it was time to come in they took their spots in the crate and on leashes and were not allowed run of the house. Not from my bro-in-law or his wife...but from ME. This is the way I visit with my dogs if we are invited. Lakota was 2 yrs. old at the time so still immature, but I've trained and trained her to the point where she listens well at home and in public even at that age. (I'm happy to say that at one Hotel, the lady at the desk said to me "My goodness your girls have to be the most well behaved dogs we've had around here! We could'nt even tell they were around!"....I was very proud of that!

)

A bit long winded...I know...but I wanted to get the point across that even tho me....a dog lover, enjoys the company of other dogs, if I invite people over and it's dog appropriate, then yes, come one come all...if not then your dog stays home or you don't come....sorry just the way it is. I personally won't board my dogs in public kennels, but that's a personal preference of mine. If that is warranted, then I just don't go, we stay home.

I think you and your hubby have all the right in the world to have your company visit with or without their dogs. I also think that your brother should make a decision and not put that hardship on you. I'm sure he knows how it makes you feel...but I don't think he "gets it"...and if he does he does'nt really care.

Bottom line....don't feel guilty...it's your home and what you and hubby says goes. If your brother misses the party, maybe you can all meet out at a restaurant halfway before or after the holidays and share some time together. At least you'll be able to enjoy each other's company without the burden of his dogs.

 

[Katie12]

I would never even ask to bring my dogs to someone house.Most people also have dogs and they would never get along. I have a few relatives i would rather they bring their dog than there kids.lol Sorry I had to say that.

 

[LittleRibbie]

I agree with the others... Your House Your Rules Peroid... Dogs are my favorite animal and I have 4 big ones...but, like Marty, No one is allowed to bring any dogs to my house. Sounds to me like your imature brother needs an attitude adjustment right out on his tush. Have a purrrrr fect Christmas with out him!!!

 

[Danielle_E.]

He may come back and give some other excuse. If he does, maybe there is a pet sitter in your area? that would take them

for the day in their home?????

. If he was my brother and if he made an excuse after you went and found sitters in his area, I would get a sitter in your area, someone who will take the dog in THEIR home to sit, make the arrangements and tell the sitter that your brother will be contacting them shortly to finalize the arrangements, lol. He won't have any valid excuse after that! There has to be a kennel from your brother's house to your's. You say it's a 3 1/2 hour drive so surely there is a kennel between his home and your home. STICK TO YOUR GUNS!

People come over to our house and bring their dog(s) but for ME it's not a problem. Our dog loves to play with any visiting dogs and my cats are use to dogs but YOUR RULES should be respected, end of story.

 

[SilverDollar]

This is not about whether the dogs can come. This is about control. Your brother and his wife if they were mature people, would make arrangements and try to be accommodating. I never take my dog to someone's home. That would be rude. And yes, if I had a place where my kids would not be welcome and I wanted to attend anyway, I got a sitter or I stayed home. I was a GUEST in someone's home.

I have left my dogs at home and found a sitter if I really wanted to do something. Same with horses, cats, birds.

You brother is trying to make you feel guilty. Sounds like he has had plenty of practice at getting his own way. He uses this to get attention. Oh look, YOUR dog is doing this, doing that. Yes, this is your family, you want them all together and happy, but even if he comes with the dogs now, I am sure you will hear it back at you. If he leaves the dogs at home and comes, he will probably whine and moan to get attention about it from the rest of your family. This a no win situation. Unless he grows up, this will not be the first nor the last time you accommodate his dogs.

For me, the choice would be easy. My house, my rules. If you can't come and abide by them, well, we will miss you and hope you have a very Merry Christmas. At my age, all this family drama is hardly tolerated anymore. Life is too short. And Guilt does not come into my vocabulary any more either.

Sometimes Christmas can be nice without the melodrama of other people.

I couldn't agree more! Geri, your brother is being disrespectful, rude and incredibly selfish. I have a sister who got a new dog last year and she is playing the "if my dog can't come than we won't be able to make it" (not to my house but to my brother's). I love her dog and I think she expected me to side with her, but I told her that she can get a pet sitter--if I can get one with six horses, she can too! If she chooses not to do that, then it's her choice. My brother's house, his rules. Same for you and your husband.

Remember, "No one can take advantage of you without your permission." Good luck!

 

[The Simple Life Farm]

I agree with all the other posts. He is trying to make his problem, your problem. If he really wants to come, he will find a way. You have NO reason to feel guilty. As you stated, he takes advantage of your mom, so he is trying to do the same to you, don't let him. As others stated, if you give in, then this will be a constant situation.

Kelly

PS.... I would have bagged up the poop and sent it home with him, too.

 

[Soggy Bottom Ranch]

Wow, thank you for all the support, and points of view from both sides of the fence. We have considered both sides, and at this point will be standing firm on our decision to not allow the dogs in our home. It was a decision made easier by the support of this group, and I thank you, I was feeling pretty terrible about his for a while now.

I think it was actually a very good suggestion to check on sitters or boarding in my area, which I did do. I found this place, K-9 Country Lodge, and I have to tell you, this place looks pretty nice even just on-line! In an effort to show we are standing firm on our decision, I e-mailed him again to send him this link, and said it's only about 25 minutes from me. He's going to call, but he's still trying to find someone there who will watch them for him. I do completely understand not wanting to board, it's the hardest thing I've ever had to do........putting my animals care in the trust of someone else. I made sure I told him again how much we wanted them both here for Christmas, and I think it will be ok. We chatted a little bit back and forth, I just wanted to make sure he wasn't upset with good ol' sis, and that he understood our reasons, that's about all I can do for now I guess.

Thanks again everyone, your support really helped!

 

[Marty]

[SIZE=18pt]Holy cow Geri that place looks to good to be true. Do they take Weenies? Cuz I'll be happy to roll over on my backside and get my belly rubbed for $6.50!!!!!

[/SIZE]

Looks pretty expensive. Maybe you can soften the situation by offering to go halfzies.

Sounds like the end of your problems! HURRAY~!

 

[Bassett]

Stick to your guns, Geri. To me this falls under the category of no smoking in my house. It's your house, it's your choice as to what is or is not allowed. Plain and simple.

Btw did you ever get your hay issue settled for the winter? Hope so.

 

[SilverDollar]

Geez, that country lodge looks awesome!! Do they take people? OH! I've never seen a boarding facility as nice as that. Those chambers look like mini stalls.

 

[Soggy Bottom Ranch]

K-9 Lodge is booked, so there goes that idea!

Guess you'll have to do without your belly rub Marty!

 

[Sonya]

Your brother does not have a friend, co-worker who he can ask to come let his dogs out once. I too think he is being unreasonable and selfish...believe me, I love my dogs, they go many many places with us. But there are a few places they don't, one is my husband's parents, they live in the city and 400 miles from us, my dogs are 100lbs and 45lbs...and are country dogs (but inside dogs)...they love the woods, they do not like to poop on leashes (but sometimes have no choice depending on where we are), they listen fairly well, do not run off and do not tear around the house, they are generally well behaved, but would never take them to someone's house, I just think it's disrespectful. The only person's house they go to is my parents(also 400 miles away), they love my dogs and enjoy them and tell me to bring them. I have a pet sitter come to my house 3-4 times a day when we are gone somewhere we can't take them. I've done the kennel before and don't like it (neither do they)...they don't eat or go to the bathroom...they hold it forever for some reason at the kennel.

your brother needs to find a petsitter...there has to be a friend or someone who can help him out...it's not christmas day so it shouldn't be a problem.

Stick to your guns and don't feel guilty about it.