Hubby has the light on but no one is homel

[dixie_belle]

As time progresses, my husband gets a little fuzzier on how to do thingsotoo much for him to do.  In fact, he just really shuffles around without speaking while I pick up all his dirty clothes,  you know, the ones that were too dirty to put into the washing machine but are perfectly ok to leave In a pile on the outstairs steps.  Because I don't mind looking at them, or smelling them or tripping over them.  Sigh.

I may have lost my temper and fussed a tad about the giant messes he is always making that I have to clean up.  So now he does little things to tick me off.  Eat icecream after dinner and leave the dirty bowl in the sink for the maid. That would be me)  Ge sleeps 14 hours a day and lays on the sofa the other hours in his undies which he tries to figure out the remote control.  I fear it is too complicated for him ,  I'm always "fixing" it.  We have had so many turturials on the remote that I think I could write the book.  But it falls on deaf ears/

And so the horrible realization is that this could last another 20 years.  He's crazy and I'm in heck. 

 

[dixie_belle]

OK, sorry about that post.  Yesterday was a really tough day.  I apologize for my rant.  It's really hard caring for someone like this.  Much harder than I imagined.  And sometimes I just am so frustrated.  And really, I don't want to vent with all my friends because no one wants to hear about any of this.  I just feel so very alone.  I'm thinking I should find some sort of social worker maybe who could help me cope?  There are all sorts of support groups at the local hospital but nothing for caring with people with dementia.  I'd delete my above post, but I don't know how.  Feel free to do so.

 

[Cayuse]

Don't be sorry, sometimes just writing stuff down and getting it out of our system can help.  It is extrodinarily difficult to care for someone who has memory issues.  I used to do it for a living and by the time my shift was over I was frazzled.  At least I got to go home, family members in your position are on duty 24/7.  A social worker sounds like a great idea.  They would have knowledge of resources that might be available to you and your husband and can help support you when times get rocky.  

 

[Ryan Johnson]

I really feel for you I do. 

The older I get the more I realize the "circle of life" turns in some regard. Not only with parents and children , but also in marriage to some regard. As we watch our parents get older , the kids become parents and I am learning this first hand. This also applies to marriage when one of the couple becomes ill or unwell.

I think you really need a little help around the house. Our local councils here will send someone out fortnightly to do housework for people needing it. I also think you need to look into seeing someone to help you through this . Life wasnt "designed" to be conquered on your own , nor the problems it throws at you. If the hospitals dont have anything for dealing with dementia , your own Dr may be able to recommend someone 

You are certainly not on your own. 

 

[HucklberryHollow]

We all need to be able to say the things we are feeling, especially in a challenging caregiving situation. There is nothing easy about it and you definitely need breaks and time to rest and do some things you enjoy. Hospital social workers usually have resources and contacts to provide respite care when appropriate. Prayers that you can get some rest and help with caregiving  

 

[Zergling]

I feel your pain. My mom's sister developed early onset alzheimers when I was about 8 and she moved in with us so my mother could care for her. She went downhill really fast. Went from forgetting things and talking to herself to extremely violent behavior and screaming at the mirrors. She would yell in a language of her own creation while she opened and slammed the same door repeatedly for hours on end. We had to turn all the mirrors in the house around and remove the ones we weren't using. Also had to put locks on all the doors and remove hers so she wouldn't slam it all hours of the day. It was terrifying to my brother and I at the time because we were only kids. The day she chased both of us down the street with a giant BBQ fork was the end of that. She had to go in a home with professional care.

It could always be worse. You can only do what you can do. Vent all you need. Try to remember its not his fault. He didn't ask for this and if he has the understanding he would feel terrible about it.

Good luck with your struggle.